I'm a massive fan of television programs and movies. I "watch" a lot of them. And by "watch" I mean that I am doing work (or blogging!) while they run in the background. My mind is pretty good at multi-tasking, so I can fairly easily follow whatever is on my television while banging away on my laptop.

The nice thing about watching stuff this way is that I can ignore all the idiotic shit that draves me crazy when it pops up.

Take for example the Wilhelm Scream.

I fucking hate it. The sound effect is so overused and offensive that it immediately takes me out of what I'm watching...

=shudder=

And then there's the fucking "Tarzan yell" which annoys me for the same reason...

Yeah, fuck Richard Marquand and George Lucas forever for that bit of dumbassery ruining an already disastrous Return of the Jedi (the heinous followup to the amazing The Empire Strikes Back). Lord.

If I had the time, I'd edit the sound mix of every movie I enjoy to rip this dumbassery out of them so I can enjoy them without distraction.

But why stop there?

There's a lot of shows and films which need some more exstensive editing than just a sound clip.

I've been re-watching the James Bond movies and cringing at the appearances of the Sheriff J.W. Pepper character, which I loathe...

Not that this frickin' idiot is the only bad thing in a James Bond movie. Many of the films have moments that are beyond stupid and are begging to be modified or cut.

Take, for example, that incredible car jump stunt that had the misfortune of being sabotaged not just by an appearance by Seargent J.W. Pepper, but with the stupid-ass slide whistle they played over the top of this magnificent stunt, which effectively sabotages it...

Who the fuck makes a choice like that?

I feel like I'm picking on James Bond and Star Wars movies, but there's precious few movies that I wouldn't change at all. Most films have something I'd change... even if it's something very small.

Hollywood should just save themselves the trouble and consult me on the final edit.