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Flat Earther Dumbfuckery

Posted on Tuesday, August 22nd, 2017
Dave!When I was at the early stages of planning my trip to Antarctica, I ran across something... strange.

It was an article talking about how Antarctica is a fraud. It's not a "continent" at all... instead it's just a wall of ice around the edge of a FLAT EARTH DISC to keep the oceans from spilling off the side. The sun and moon are much, much smaller than the earth and rotate above the "disc" like yo...

Flat Earth GIF
Image attributed to The Flat Earth Society. Really. It exists.

This is not the first time I had heard of such a thing, but I always thought that stuff like "The Flat Earth Society" was a joke. I mean, how could it be anything except a joke? We have visible, reproducible evidence that the earth is a globe which can be witnessed with our own eyes! Astronauts have been off the planet and have seen the earth is a globe! We have actual science that proves how the earth globe works! We have frickin' satellites orbiting the planet to give us technology magic like GPS and shit!

And yet... it's no joke. An increasing number of people are tossing reason right out the window and actually believe this crap.

Then I started seeing flat earth dumbfuckery pop up again for the eclipse yesterday. To some people, the eclipse was seen as "irrefutable proof" that the earth is flat. They don't take time to understand how reality works, so they come up with stuff like "THE SHADOW IS MOVING IN THE WRONG DIRECTION!" and "NASA IS TELLING YOU TO WEAR SPECIAL GLASSES SO YOU CAN'T SEE THE TRUTH!" as their "evidence."

What's most fascinating to me is the flat-earther's blinding hatred of NASA.

Over and over and over again I read how NASA is lying to us and everything they produce has been faked and photoshopped. Of course they think the moon landing was a complete hoax. How could they not? The reason they think NASA is faking everything is that they get tons of money from the government to explore stuff in space, and if they told the truth... that there is no stuff in space to explore... they would be defunded and shut down. No explanation as to how NASA manages to keep their thousands of employees on a leash... or why Russia, Japan, China, and other countries are cooperating with the NASA 'lie" when there's no reason for them to. But it's not like reasonable thinking is going to get you anywhere with somebody who thinks the earth is flat.

Aside from the common sense of a globe-shaped earth given all we know, observe, and study, I have yet to figure out how flat-earthers think that eclipses can be predicted by science if they reject all the science that allows eclipses to be predicted. I mean, seriously... how can NASA tell you in advance when and where an eclipse is going to occur if they are faking the science that gives them the information?

Here's a segment of a list maintained by Time and Date that lays out eclipses for all of 2019...

Eclipse Schedule!

Scientists are able to release stuff like this because our solar system has been modeled. It's not some wild guess that they're making... if you go to the places they say there will be an eclipse at the time they say there will be an eclipse, you will see an eclipse. It's that simple.

I have scoured the internet trying to find an eclipse schedule as released by a flat-earther, but it doesn't look like there is anything. You're just supposed to take their word that the earth is flat even though they can't explain how astronomers are dead-accurate about the science of eclipses... and offer no explanation or "predictions" as to when eclipses on their pancake earth are going to occur.

Riiiiiight.

Oh well. When I set sail towards Antarctica this December, I'll be sure to take photos of the giant ice wall.

And if you never hear from me again, you can assume that the flat-earthers are right and I've fallen off the edge.

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Categories: DaveLife 2017, News – Politics 2017, Travel 2017Click To It: Permalink
   

Comments

  1. kapgar says:

    Morons. However the one argument these morons posit that I always find intriguing is why, if we’ve been to the moon before, have we not been back since? With technology as improved as it is, you’d think it would be easy. Expensive, but easy. And honestly, expense didn’t stop anything in the 80s.

    Meh. Whatever.

  2. Christian says:

    There’s no way the earth is flat. If it was, cats would have pushed everything off the edge by now.

  3. Ren says:

    Clearly, the reason NASA can predict the eclipse is because they cause it. The lie that the moon is the cause is easily disproven by simply looking and seeing that the moon is no where to be found at the time of the eclipse.

    • Daver says:

      Yes. It can’t be that the sun is 10,000 times brighter than the moon and there is almost nothing in comparison to illuminate the side facing us so we can see it, which causes the moon is completely obliterated from sight. It must be something else! It must be… NASA!!! Clearly you have come to the correct conclusion. At least now we know that ALL the money they’re given isn’t going towards faking the Mars rovers… some is left over to fake eclipses! :-D

      • Ren says:

        Way more than 10,000. The sun is almost 400,000 times brighter than the full moon. My rough research indicates that a full moon is more than 600 times brighter than a crescent moon. I assume that even a crescent moon is significantly brighter than a new moon, but even ignoring that we’re at something on the order of a quarter of a billion times brighter!

  4. Ren says:

    One of the people with me for the totality kept trying to find the moon before the eclipse started, despite how futile we kept describing his efforts. Oh, and I’m pretty sure he was doing so with the solar glasses on….

    During my above research, I found that the earliest the crescent moon has been seen after a new moon is 15.5 hours with the naked eye and 12.1 hours with a telescope.

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