My "not-my-day-job" job requires a lot of patience, perseverance, humility, dedication and, above all... flexibility. Most every appointment I make involves my being "squeezed in" to somebody's calnedar, and things often change with only a moment's notice. Most times I will fly into a city a day early and leave two days late because I just don't know when I can get in the door. Often times, the trip itself happens without warning because an opportunity arises. Once I got a call as I was driving home from the airport telling me I had to turn around, go back to the airport, and be on the next flight to Orlando (which left in 90 minutes). Good thing I had a clean pair of underwear left over.
Needless to say, making personal plans while on the job is not easy. Often times it's impossible. Not that this stops me from trying. Fortunately, most of my friends in far away places are very understanding and forgiving when it comes to my having to change or cancel plans. They know it's not my choice that I can't make it to dinner or show up for a movie... it's just part of the game.
But it's not something everybody can handle.
Next week I have to be in San Francisco. Last time I was in the city for work, it was very last-minute, but my appointments were pretty well nailed-down to the daytime. So I made plans to get a tattoo and attend a farewell party during my free evenings... knowing full well that either could be canceled without notice. Lucky for me they weren't, and everything worked out fine. Until I got an email from a friend who was upset that I didn't contact them for a meet-up while I was there. I explained that the trip was a last-minute thing and all my time was booked, but promised I'd let them know the next time I was in San Francisco.
Except when I went to message them on Facebook once my schedule had been tightened up, I found out that I had been unfriended.
Like I said, my wildly erratic work and travel schedule is not something everybody can handle.
Which makes me really appreciate those friends who can put up with me.
Because sometimes it's all I can do to put up with myself.
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Hey, if some can’t deal with the fact that you have work and have plans, then that’s their deal I guess.
I’m glad that we’ve been able to hang out in your visit to SLC.
Yeah! When’s the next concert!
Maybe that person unfriended you because they felt too ashamed about their behavior toward you.
I honestly don’t know. I thought we were cool how we left things and didn’t sense anything amiss. But, apparently not.
I will never unfriend you. Hell is going to have to freeze over or you’re going to have to go on an epic anti-Sean Connery rant for me to unfriend you. And even then, I’ll probably still meet you for dinner every time you’re in Atlanta. Just to piss you off. 😀
A real friend has sympathy for your schedule and gratitude when you can share some time with them, not self-centered demands on your time. But if you cancel on me again, I’m going to show up at your house and kidnap your cat. Just sayin’ 😉
The social politics of Facebook befuddles me. I’m not a user (well…not really), but I follow a lot of it through Gia. And it’s a little sickening. Unfriending? That’s just so wrong.
Sad panda. Their loss. Clearly.
I’ve unfriended and refriended and unfriended and refriended you dozens of times over the years because you never call but then I remember just how cool you are and… IT’S A MAD CYCLE!!!!! Gah!!!
I still can’t believe that the person was so upset. I’ve never once thought it was rude that you were unable to see Vahid or I while traveling close. Sometimes it just happens like that and you just have to plan for next time. It’s not your fault and that person should know that. But maybe that person is not rational. I don’t know.
The whole unfriending thing I think people use too quickly when they are upset and it’s something that’s hard to take back. I try to not do it when I’m upset, instead I might hide them or something for a while until I calm down or things work out. My husband and I had a fight with his brother and wife at one point and to our surprise that night they’d both unfriended us and that really solidifies where things stand. We haven’t talked since, that was last spring.
sounds like that person has feelings that are easily hurt. if you really would like to keep them in your life, email or call them about your upcoming trip. facebook is not an accurate representation of the health of a friendship.
anyhow… things come up; life happens. it is going to take more than broken dinner plans for you to get rid of me. xoxo