This morning something popped into my head that I wish I could forget. It was the memory of a bad situation which I handled poorly and have always wished that I could go back and change. But, of course, I can't change it, so now I get to be haunted by it from time to time.
Some people have pointed out that bad memories and the mistakes we make all go into the makeup of who we are. If we could go back and fix our mistakes, then we wouldn't be the same person any more. We are defined and re-defined by our experiences, good or bad, so we shouldn't seek to eliminate unpleasant things from our past... but instead try our best to learn from them so we can become a better, wiser people in the process.
It's probably true.
But don't think for a second that if there was a memory-erasing machine like they have in Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind that I wouldn't have them blast out a chunk of stuff that I'd just as soon forget.
Because being haunted is nothing like they showed on Scooby-Doo.
I love comments! However, all comments are moderated, and won't appear until approved. Are you an abusive troll with nothing to contribute? Don't bother. Selling something? Don't bother. Spam linking? Don't bother.
PLEASE NOTE: My comment-spam protection requires JavaScript... if you have it turned off or are using a mobile device without JavaScript, commenting won't work. Sorry.
Atom Entries Feed Comments Feed
I’ve doing a lot of reflecting lately, the good and the bad, and sometimes it hurts. Life is what it is, and we have to learn and do/be better later today and tomorrow.
This thinking has inspired a new tattoo choice. The creation may take place early next week.
You have no idea what a relief it is to hear someone else relate that they have this experience; where something horrible they did, or caused, or were at fault for without question, pops into their head for no imaginable reason and “haunts” them for a time afterword.
This is something that happens to me more than I’d like. It guides my actions like a guilty conscience – because that’s what it is, plain and simple – and I’m forever trying to steer clear of having a memory like those again. So I work and struggle (it’s a struggle because I am, in fact, a jerk) to not get myself into those situations that I will end up regretting later.
I say i try, because I usually fail, and manage to find a way to create a situation I’ll regret later anyway.
It’s pathological on my part, I’m sure. But it’s also a little helpful to hear it happens to someone else too, even to a lesser degree.
Thanks. I feel all better now. Kinda.
Ugh. I’m one of those people who can’t let her mistakes go, even years later. I still lie awake at night and beat myself up over them.
I’m with you, Dave. Though our experiences do contribute to who we’ve become, it doesn’t mean they’ve improved us. I could do without a few of mine.
Yep.
I’m in that same boat. Things I did that I’m not proud of bubble up in my brain from time to time, and I get all… depressed… about it. Stupid brain.