CGP Grey, whose fantastic videos I have posted here a number of times, made a new video just for me last week:

HOW TO BECOME POPE!

And now that Il Papa has left the building, and the position is officially available, I thought it important that I take a look...

Wow.

Okay, I'm pretty sure I can create a bishop vacancy... accidents happen all the time. Then I'm confident it's just a matter of a lot of money greasing the right palms to slide into a bishopship. No problem there, as Kickstarter was made for this kind of thing.

But becoming a cardinal?

The current Pope has to appoint me to cardinalship.

And he just retired, so that's a problem.

Maybe if I can just go all Mission: Impossible and eliminate a cardinal so I can impersonate him with a face-mask and get the rest of the cardinals to elect me Pope? I do look good in red...

After impersonating a cardinal with a good chance at Pope, then getting the other cardinals to vote me Pope, I can then take the name Pope Dave Two the First. THEN I can go pray in private at the Sistine Chapel, remove my disguise, and emerge with my own face. Then I'll just convince everybody that God came down and re-made me in his image. Which should be simple thanks to my God-like visage.

Easy. LET'S MAKE THIS HAPPEN, PEOPLE!

But first, it's time to watch more CPG Grey videos. What a time-suck his YouTube Channel is...

Okay, now let's get to work...