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Posted on Friday, February 10th, 2012

Dave!If I have to listen to Mitt Romney mangle the lyrics to American The Beautiful one more time, I'm going to fucking lose it. The lyrics are NOT "for purple mountain's majesty..." it's "for purple mountain majesties." Those are the lyrics. Those are the words in the original poem upon which the song is based. If you're going to pander to the lowest common denominator with a bullshit smokescreen masquerading as patriotism, you should at least put the effort into doing it right.

Gee. I'm in a bit of a mood tonight.

That's what happens when you start working at 4:30am.

And you have to read about George Lucas telling the world that Greedo always shot first... that everybody is just "confused" and bad people want Han "to be a cold-blooded killer."

I saw the original Star Wars dozens of times... and by "original" I mean the actual film and not the Special Edition crap. I watched it again dozens of more times on LaserDisc. And not once during any of those times did I ever think that Greedo fired first. But, more importantly, I never once thought that Han Solo was a cold-blooded killer. Greedo had a gun pointed on him... he was acting in self-defense...

Everybody Loves Greedo

And, as we found out in The Empire Strikes Back, the guy was a scoundrel.

Which brings me to my point...

If I have to listen to George Lucas mangle Star Wars one more time, I'm going to fucking lose it.

HAN SOLO SHOT FIRST! I'd also go a step further and say that Greedo never shot at all... but I must be confused on that too.

Or sane.

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Categories: Movies 2012Click To It: Permalink


  1. Alexander says:

    It sounds like Mr. Lucas is running for office and using the time-honored “If you repeat a lie often enough people will come to believe it” strategy. Either that or he’s lost ALL sense of reality.

    Don’t even get me started on the 3D reissue of his crappy prequels. I felt violated when I saw them the first time (Thanks for raping my childhood, George!) so there is no way I’m subjecting myself to them again…ESPECIALLY since they’re in 3D!

    In case you haven’t heard George, audiences are growing to HATE 3D. Maybe if you stepped out of your bubble once in a while you’d know this.

    But, that’s what happens when you live in a bubble like Lucas obviously is. You grow to believe your shit don’t stink, and I’m sorry George honey, but those prequels ARE shit. Not THE shit. Just SHIT.

    As far as I’m concerned, there is only one “real” Star Wars: STAR WARS and THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK. RETURN OF THE JEDI is borderline because the signs were obvious that Lucas was starting to become more concerned with merchandising tie-ins than actually telling a story).

    No “reissues,” no “special editions,” and most certainly NO “prequels.” You can fuck with your original masterpiece all you want George, but it won’t change the fact that all you do with each subsequent boxed-set release is fuck it up more and more.

    Greedo shot first? I don’t THINK so.

  2. Becky says:

    And here I thought you were going to weigh in with your 2 cents worth on the dad who shot up his daughter’s laptop b/c she was a whiny bitch. Also? Is it just me or isn’t he partially to blame for her attitude? Didn’t he raise her?

  3. claire says:

    Are you fucking kidding me? How many people saw Star Wars when it first came out and then again on VHS or TV or additional screenings BEFORE Lucas reedited it? A fuckton, that’s how many.

    Lucas may have created it, but you can’t argue with that many witnesses. If Solo isn’t a scoundrel then his character has no story arc! WTF?

    I assume Lucas rethought the shooting somewhere along the line, but screening a movie is like hitting publish on the internet. Once you’ve done it, it’s out there. Besides, I have a DVD of SW I could prove him wrong with right this second.

    ARgh. Why won’t he just move on to something new?

  4. Sybil Law says:

    Who thinks Han is a cold blooded killer? Who wants him to be? Is George fucking senile?

  5. Walt says:

    I agree…what is up with Lucas? I’ve seen sell outs before but this guy takes the cake. Talk about totally tramping on what was good. He totally kicked boot grime in the face of every Star Wars fan.

    Lucas should take lessons from Cat Stevens about walking away. He is like a slimy salesman trying to make us believe his elixir cures everything. It’s an ugly case of fading away would be the best thing.

  6. Invader_Stu says:

    I’m gone a go with he never shot at all. My parents had an old VHS tape of Star Wars recorded of the telly. I must have watched that thing once a week as a child and I’m sure Greedo never fired at all. He never had time. What would be the point in Greedo shooting. That way he or Jabba would never get the money.

    Plus, in the special edition when they did make him fire it made it even more clear that he was not firing. His trigger finger did not move. There was no kick back like you see the other actors in the movie mime when firing and could greedo really be such a bad shot that he would shoot high into the wall instead of the person sitting across the table from him.

    Angry nerd rant over.

  7. bo says:

    I couldn’t agree more. By the time the Special Edition versions came out I’d easily seen Star Wars a hundred times. Han shot first. Always.

  8. the muskrat says:

    I would love for my life to be so blissful and void of real issues that people ask me about a fictional character I created >30 years ago and whether he shot another fictional character in self defense or not!

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