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Posted on Monday, August 15th, 2011

Dave!Nothing quite like losing 15% of your retirement fund in less than two months. So happy I pay a bunch of experts to manage my money! Something tells me I would have been better off investing my money in hookers. Sure it uses my long-term asset for a short-term investment with no long-term payoff... and comes with some really heavy risk factors... but at least I would be stimulating the local economy.

And my penis.

What's odd is that my retirement plan is fairly low-risk. I can't imagine how much I would have lost were I still in the high-risk/high-yield program I was in just five years ago.

And don't think I'm not grateful that I at least have something left in my retirement account. There are many, many people out there who are not so lucky. Stupid economy.

So, yeah, I'm a little worried about my retirement.

But that's quite a ways away. And, as of today, is even further away than it was last month.

The more immediate concern is my upcoming vacation. I haven't worked out all the details yet, but if the US dollar gets much worse, my travels are going to take a turn for the worse...

DAVETOON: Will Give Handjobs for Bus Fare

On the other hand, I would be meeting new and interesting people.


  1. Robin says:

    I lost a bunch in my 401k too! How is it that you can lose so much in a few days, but it takes months and months to build it back up?

  2. martymankins says:

    Sometimes new avenues to keep the Washingtons arriving in greater numbers could be fun. Lil Dave doesn’t look happy, though.

  3. Neil T. says:

    Surely you must know enough people across the world to blag a spare bed or sofa, rather than staying in hotels? 🙂

  4. Invader_Stu says:

    That sucks. Hopefully it does not come to that.

  5. Beth says:

    If it takes a handjob to get bus fare I shudder to think what you’re doing for that transatlantic airfare….

    Perhaps I should work on moving my Dave Number into two digits. I don’t want to catch anything 🙂

  6. Sybil Law says:

    You’d be making so many friends, too!

  7. Avitable says:

    Do you supply your own lube?

    • Dave2 says:

      I can’t afford bus fare and you think I’ll be providing free lube? I dunno… maybe I could rub my hands in oil spots in the street…

  8. kapgar says:

    You look like Charlie Sheen in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off.

  9. delmer says:

    A few years ago one of my retirement accounts dipped low enough that the company managing the account felt they had to charge me a fee for looking after it. They refunded the fee, but only after I got on the phone and politely pointed out that I’d never had to pay a fee before and that the only reason they were charging me now was they’d done such a poor job managing my money that my account had lost enough value that I’d fallen below some sort of let’s-charge-this-guy threshold.

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