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Posted on Friday, March 25th, 2011

Dave!I don't celebrate my birthday, which is part of the reason I like leaving the country every year... it's a lot harder for your friends and family to throw a party or make a big deal over it when you're not around. That being said, the outpouring of birthday wishes from everybody is such a wonderful thing that I wish it could be my birthday every day! It's hard not to be happy when your email in-box, text messages, Facebook, and Twitter are jam-packed with well-wishers wanting to congratulate you on surviving another year. My hetero-life-partner even wrote a blog post for my birthday which, considering he almost never blogs anymore, was a really great end to an amazing day.

Which, oddly enough, was 31 hours long, since I started the 24th in London (7 hours ahead) and flew home to re-live a big chunk of my day all over again. I guess if it can't be your birthday every day, crossing time zones to make the one day you get last longer is the next best thing.

The flight home was somewhat torturous thanks to The Most Boring Man In The Universe sitting in the seat behind me. Seriously, this bastard rambled non-stop for nine-hours-and-twenty-minutes, loudly (LOUDLY) going on and on about mundane shit that even my iPod at full volume could not obliterate. Since he had an English accent, it was if I were trapped in the most horrifyingly boring documentary ever. I still have no idea how the poor person he was talking to the entire time kept from killing herself. I would have dashed my brains out on the seat-back tray after the first hour.

Coming back the USA was about as painless as it's ever been. I used to loathe going through border control and customs because the agents were always such assholes. But they truly have been improving over the past couple years, which makes foreign travel so much nicer. It's as if they knew people hated them and their hostile, shitty attitudes and decided to try being more pleasant. This time, I actually felt welcomed back to my own country, which would have been impossible for me to even dream of just five years ago. Having to wait less than ten minutes in line was also a nice bonus... especially after having suffered through Heathrow's 25-minute wait at border control twice. You'd think that one of the world's busiest airports could have more than two measly desks open for plane-loads of passengers, but apparently they just don't give a fuck. I kept looking for the sign saying VISIT THE UNITED KINGDOM AT YOUR PERIL, YOU FILTHY FOREIGN BASTARDS! But, being British, they're much more subtle about it. They just make you suffer a long wait in silence to show their disdain for your existence and their contempt at your desire to set foot on their soil.

But at least I didn't have to give my fingerprints, retina scan, and a stool sample like foreigners visiting these United States of America. I guess that's something.

My birthday also happens to be the birthday of Mac OS X, which turned ten years old yesterday! It's odd how Apple's OS is so young, but seems to have been around forever. I usually celebrate the occasion by booting up an antique Macintosh running an old, old, old version of Mac OS, just so I can appreciate how far we've come. The problem is that last year when I did this I actually came across some old features that I miss in the "modern" OS, so I'll probably skip this year. Nothing quite so sad as longing for technology advances from twenty years ago. What I wouldn't give to have each of my fucking folder windows remember their fucking Finder view selection and fucking sorting preference every fucking time I fucking open them... but, alas, that's only possible with technology from fucking 1990. Nothing like taking giant steps backwards as you head into the future, eh Apple?

And now I get ready to face my Friday, knowing full-well that there will be no Matt & Kim concert at the end of it. It's times like this I wonder how I manage to go on day after day, but I've got another birthday coming up next year where people will (hopefully) take the time to once again send happy thoughts my way... so I'll just hang on to that for the next 365 days* and see where that gets me.

Thanks everybody!

*Usually, I'd be waiting 364 days, but 2012 is a leap year, giving me a whole extra day before my next birthday. How much does that suck? Thanks a lot crappy flawed Julian calendar system!

Tags: , , , ,
Categories: Apple Stuff 2011, Travel 2011Click To It: Permalink


  1. Ren says:

    Glad you had an enjoyable birthday. Oh, and Happy Belated Birthday!

    You should allocate an hour or so tonight to just listen to Matt & Kim and relive their concert.

    I’m curious what alternative to leap years you’d suggest to handle the discrepancy between days and years? Perhaps we should just have summer days be slightly longer, but that seems like it would be even worse than DST. Besides, being a quarter to a half a day off from the sun seems like it would be pretty annoying. I’ve got it: We should just make March 24th be two days long every four years!

  2. suze says:

    When I was last at Heathrow, I had to go through the ‘foreign passport’ line, while my husband, a Brit by birth and travelling on a British Passport got to fly through the British citizen’s line. Lucky him. When I got to the counter and mentioned the purpose of my trip was to visit my inlaws, the agent there told me to follow Mike through the British citizen’s line next time. But considering the signs say, essentially, in the most polite way possible, of course, “Don’t even think about standing here if you don’t have a British passport” I’m not sure I believe him…

    Glad you had a good birthday.

  3. the muskrat says:

    you’re welcome!

  4. Juli says:

    You won’t have a birthday next year because the world end on MY birthday THIS year. damnitalltohell!! Send gifts now, please.

  5. Sybil Law says:

    Aww – I am just sincerely happy you had a great day and yay for no hassles traveling! Well, minus the boring fuck behind you. 🙂

  6. TheQueen says:

    I bought Matt and Kim tickets just now. On your recommendation.

  7. *lynne* says:

    wait wait wait repeat that please… I now have to give a stool sample when i reenter the US?!! :p I’m surprised we’re not just getting a cheek swab nowadays.

    Happy Birthday, belatedly.


  8. Sarah says:

    Vahid finished that blog post in bed while I was trying to sleep. It’s a good thing you’re awesome because if that was a blog post about anyone else I’d be a bit more angry about it.

    I’m also glad you had a great vacation!

  9. whitenoise says:

    Hey, I’m reading this on a Mac! (In a large part because of you…)

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