Without change, something sleeps inside us and seldom awakens.
—Duke Leto Atreides, Dune
I've been struggling this week. A couple weeks, actually. Ever since I came back from Europe it seems as though I've been hit by one horrible thing after another and I'm starting to lose faith that things are ever going to get back to normal. Whatever "normal" is. It's like I left my life for a while, then came back to find all the things I recognize about it... missing.
Almost like it never existed and I'm just remembering it all wrong. Except I have pictures. And this blog. I'd blame the travel, but I know that's not true.
Now.
Because today as I was skimming the news sites, I figured it all out. And this is what did it...
Nooooooo! Not Giordano's! They say they'll stay open as they declare bankruptcy, but who knows how long that will last? Their cheese supplier could decide to stop delivering cheese tomorrow and where would that leave us? How can you make pizza without cheese?
And there it is.
I haven't eaten at Giordano's in quite a while... even though it's kind of a quintessential Chicago experience... but that's not the point. The point is that I always know I can go to back to Giordano's for a pizza and a beer if I wanted to...
Except...
Now I don't know how much longer that might be true. Giordano's could close tomorrow and I'd never get to have pizza there again. I don't know how much that would actually bother me if it happened, but the thought of it weighing on my mind is crushing me.
And if that's true for a pizza restaurant 1650 miles away then it's true for everything in my life.
Anything I do... anyplace I go... anyone I see... could be the last time.
I don't fear change. Really, I don't. In many ways I embrace change and welcome the new adventures it brings. But sometimes change makes you question the things you know... the things you believe in... the things that are true. And with all that doubt floating around my head lately, it's no wonder I don't want to get out of bed in the morning.
I suppose I should do something about that.
Or go to Chicago and have a Giordano's pizza and a beer while I still can.
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I love their pizza – there’s one here in Orlando, and it really tastes just as good as the Chicago one. Maybe I should go there again just in case.
See – I think like that all the time. You’d think it would make me more appreciative of everyone around me, and usually it does, but sometimes – sometimes, it only makes me terrified.
We really need to make a plan to have a Chicago meetup. Soon. Go bug RW about it. 🙂
I’m in the other boat lately – I’ve been feeling an ever increasing discontentment with the status quo that tells me I need a change, I just haven’t figured out how to make that happen yet. Even though there are already big changes on my horizon, I am wanting something even bigger. I’m sure this is going to end in a “be careful what you wish for” scenario, but it doesn’t change my desire for a total paradigm shift. Strange.
Man I get you.
Change and Acceptance are tag teaming on my ass beating.
The strength it takes to find the will to do what needs to be done is something I have to dig for daily.
I hope the weekend puts some wind in your sails.
Wow! I hadn’t heard about Giordano’s! Now, if Pizano’s ever files for Chapter 11, I’m going to fall into a deep, dark depression…
I think that’s why I try to enjoy and be aware of the moment more as I get older…things can change in an instant, so enjoy it while it’s around.
My life has changed so much over the last year, I barely even recognize it anymore.
I’m leaving this comment for Vahid. I’m pretty sure he’d be thinking, “mmm…pizza” right now.
Giordanos is right by where I live here in Chicago. I eat it all the time and LOVE it. You do know that you can order one from their website and have it delivered to you half cooked right. The best of both worlds! Be where you live AND eat amazing pizza!
http://www.giordanos.com/shop/
Damn… that pizza looks sooo good.
I don’t fear change, but I dread change in some circumstances. Mostly when it disturbs my comfort zone. But I know, in the back of my head, that I need to make some changes before something fucked up sneaks up on me. And then I must embrace change, fighting part of the way.
I’m up for a Chicago meet-up at Giordano’s, if someone wants to plan that. Maybe sometime in May?
Did you know you can order one from them and they send it frozen so you can just bake it yourself? I’m sure it is super expensive, but maybe worth it?
You get out here and it will be our treat, man.
I love Chicago style pizza. I hope they last…
Chicago meet-up? 🙂