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Honker

Posted on Tuesday, June 8th, 2010

Dave!I was having such a good day at work today. Until I made the mistake of driving back to my hotel at the end of the day.

Seattle is kind of a unique for a major city (so far as traffic goes) because it is surrounded by water on three sides. To alleviate traffic jams, most cities expand outward and build a ring road or something... but that's an option Seattle just doesn't have. For better or worse, the city is pretty much stuck with what they've got. Sure it presents some challenges and frustrations, but it is what it is, and locals pretty much deal with it the best they can...

Seattle Map
Puget Sound (Elliott Bay) to the West. Lake Washington to the East. Lake Union to the North.

A key part of the Seattle transportation system is the Alaskan Way Viaduct. It runs along Elliott Bay (of Puget Sound) at the Western edge of the city. It's a double-decker affair with southbound traffic on the lower level, and northbound on the upper deck. You can see it on the map above... it's the yellow line to the left of where it says "Seattle."

Driving the viaduct can be tricky business because the lanes are quite narrow. This means drivers are always on high alert since you just never know when a truck is going to come barreling by and drift into your lane.

When you are heading north into the city you exit off a ramp that runs into Seneca Street...

Seneca Stree Exit

At the end of the ramp you have the option of turning left onto 1st Avenue, which is exactly what I wanted to do because that's how I get to my hotel. Today when I exited there was a big Chevy Suburban SUV ahead of me. Because somebody was crossing the street, they had to wait in the intersection. Not wanting to block traffic if the light turned red, I hung back just a little bit so I could wait my turn...

Hwy 99 Ramp Seattle

So far so good.

But then some random asshole comes screaming up behind me and IMMEDIATELY starts laying on his horn...

Asshole Honking Horn At Me!

WHAT THE FUCK?!?

It's not like he couldn't see the fucking huge-ass Suburban blocking me... he HAD to have seen it. With that in mind, what the hell was his reasoning to honk at us? Even if he didn't see the pedestrian in the sidewalk, he should have at least expected that we were waiting for SOMETHING! It's not like we were just sitting there for the fun of it. Besides, WHERE IN THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO GO? Am I just supposed to run over a Suburban AND a pedestrian to make this prick happy?

I can only guess that this particular asshole is one of those people who automatically lays on the horn the minute he runs across something blocking his path... whether it's deserved or not.

I fucking HATE these idiots.

In the interest in maintaining a civil society, it should be legal to pull out a gun and just unload on their rude, stupid asses. They have no place... NO PLACE... living amongst sane, rational, well-mannered people... let alone driving amongst us.

And now my day has been ruined.

To make myself feel better, I am going to go drink beer now.

Tags: , , ,
Categories: DaveLife 2010, Travel 2010Click To It: Permalink
   

Comments

  1. Sarah says:

    I’ve pretty much given up driving in Oregon.

    Coming from California I don’t think I’ll ever understand the need to pause at every green light to see what is going on at the intersection.

  2. Poppy says:

    My guess is he is from NYC.

    People honk here to say “I’m annoyed that you are wasting my time. I don’t care if it’s your fault or not. You’re in my way, I’m a baby, so I will honk at you as if I have no control over my emotions.”

    We ignore it.

  3. DutchBitch says:

    On the bright side: from Friday morning on someone will be driving you round for a few days (happily doing so) :)

  4. Suebob says:

    My mom has this theory that when we become adults, we should all get pistols and six bullets – and only six – that we would be allowed to use on other adults at any time without repercussions.

    She says people would be a lot more polite then, never knowing if someone had a bullet left.

  5. You can call me, 'Sir' says:

    I fantasize about having enough money to just not care about stuff anymore, followed by throwing the car into reverse and flooring it back into the dude behind me. This would be followed by a really insincere ‘Sorry’ while we wait for the cops.

    Also, when money is no longer an issue, I’ll live on Lake Union. Because it’s awesome.

  6. Avitable says:

    It’s probably a good thing you don’t carry a gun. I think you’d be in trouble.

  7. Sybil Law says:

    GAH! I hate that shit!!!
    I hope you at least flipped the asshole off.
    (And personally I wish my car had a gun or 5 that I could activate with a switch – all Knight Rider -esque…)

  8. martymankins says:

    Try driving in Utah. Pedestrians never have the right of way. And honking ensues when patient levels get thinner by the second.

    I never got off I-5 when I drove through Seattle a couple of weeks ago, so avoided any sort of honking pricks.

  9. What with you mentioning Seattle every now and again and the g/f and I watching every episode of Grey’s Anatomy back to back, I *really* want to visit. Looks stunning.

  10. Dann says:

    Maybe that person has a condition whereby if they don’t honk their horn each time they come to a stop their head will explode. Did you think of that Dave? Show some compassion.

    Seriously though, why do we let people like that get to us? I’ll get mad at them and then at myself for getting all worked up. Besides, people like that, sooner or later their head (or heart) will explode anyway.

  11. sizzle says:

    Honkers make me mental.

    98% of the time they are honking for no goddamned reason except to toot their self-importance.

  12. John says:

    This calls for BOTTLEROCKET JUSTICE!

  13. It’s moments like that I wish I owned a monster truck. I’d put that puppy in reverse and drive over people like that. Then, I would get out and dance a jug of glee on their wreckage.

  14. Walt says:

    Dave:

    I agree, we should get to blast three people a year if you can totally prove what an ass they are on the highway. It would weed out the idiots, relieve some traffic congestion, and simply make driving more pleasurable once they are gone.

  15. whitenoise says:

    That happened to me in LA a few months back. Except that the pedestrian was an ambulance which you think would make the situation EVEN MORE OBVIOUS to the jerk with the horn. No such consideration.

  16. nick says:

    Try living or working in Boston, I hear outside of the area they call us mASSHOLES and for good reason.The very second the light turns green people are honking away, Oh an god forbid you try to change lanes or take a turn ,the guy behind and on the side of you will be honking.I usually deal with this by intentionally slowing down to a crawl in front of these ignorant baffoons.Or in the case of the green light honking. I’ll simply put it in park.If they continue well I simply get out of the car and usually the sight of a pissed off 280lb guy will shut them up.I gotta get outta here.

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