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Posted on Thursday, April 10th, 2008

Dave!Free at last.

This morning at 9:47am, after a week of agony and discomfort, my kidney stone finally decided to exit the building. And by "building" I mean "me." I had a feeling things were coming to an end yesterday because things started feeling different in my internals, but it wasn't until the pain subsided and was replaced with burning discomfort that I knew for certain. My guess is that appearing on The Jester Show last night scared the stone out of me, but it was more likely due to the massive quantities of water I drank afterwards.

The hospital scan revealed that the stone was only 4mm, but it might as well have been 4-inches for all the trauma it caused me. Surprisingly, as I stood there gazing at the instrument of my destruction in the toilet, I marveled at how innocent it looked. Like a little pebble that might get stuck in your shoe or something. And by "shoe" I mean "penis."

Though I'm sure if you looked at it under a microscope, it would be a different story. I've taken to calling my kidney stone "Mr. Sharpie" because it's the only explanation for how unbelievably fucking painful it's been...

Please note that Mr. Sharpie is no relation to Sharpie Brand Markers, ©Sanford, A Newell Rubbermaid Company
I really don't want to be sued over this shit.

Oh well. It's all over now. After having gone through this crap twice, I've decided that I'm drinking fifty glasses of water each day to flush this stuff out before it has a chance to accumulate into SPIKEY BALLS OF EXTREME PAIN!!


In other news, the movie trailer for Battle In Seattle has been released over at MovieSet.

It looks like complete and total shit.

I don't know why they'd make a movie over a frickin' protest, but here you have it. While the event was very real, I have no idea if the drama they've added to the film is based on real stories or not. From the over-clocked intensity of the scenes in the trailer, I'm guessing it's mostly speculation and fiction, but who knows?

In any event, I have no plans for seeing it. I was in Seattle working on November 30th, 1999... and blissfully unaware of everything that was going on. I was a dozen blocks away and cut off from news sources when things started up, and had no idea how intense things were getting until I went back downtown to my hotel later in the day. Fortunately, my hotel was on the edge of the riots, but I could still look out my window and catch a glimpse of the crazy stuff happening just a couple blocks away. Part of me wanted to go check it out, but after watching TV news I decided to stay in my room (which was largely tear-gas free!) and eat a bag of potato chips and a Coke for dinner.

But my true memories of the WTO protest riots were formed the next two days while walking through the streets of downtown Seattle. The spray-painted buildings and smashed windows provided a vivid picture of just how fucked-up some people can get. I'm all for protest, but using violence to promote your cause doesn't do anything but make you look like a douchebag. I'd like to believe that the vast majority of the people who showed up were there for peaceful protest (even if most of them probably didn't even understand what they were protesting), but the fact that nothing was done to stop the violence has me blaming the protestors as much as I blame the Seattle Police for being so grossly unprepared.


Now that I'm back to normal, I suppose I should get back to reality.

For once I'm actually happy about that.

Categories: DaveLife 2008, Movies 2008Click To It: Permalink


  1. ChillyWilly says:

    Wow. Major cheers for passing the stone. Can’t imagine the pain. If mine is still in me, I know I will be looking at the pain at some point.

    Something 4mm going into a 2mm place is not exactly a good fit.

  2. Hilly Sue says:

    And here I thought it was all that talk about kidney stone arousal last night ;).

    Seriously though, so glad it has left the building. Take that, evil stone of death!

  3. Tobi says:

    yay for feeling better! I almost went to that WTO protest as I was going to university in Victoria at the time. In hindsight, I’m glad I didn’t. Tear gas hurts a lot.

  4. mew says:



  5. Kidney Stones are rough and the only way they can come out is using the bathroom. I’m glad to hear that your little ball of pain is out and over with. 4 mm of pain going through the man’s most vital part of the body.

    Violence does not do anything for protests but get people angrier. People like violence and you saw that first hand in Seattle. Violence causes more violence.

  6. karla says:


    You know, 4mm ain’t nothing to sneeze at. I have beads that size (I make jewelry when I am not being lazy, which is rare) and 4mm is a decent sized bead. I’d hate to have something that size come out of MY urethra (girls do have them don’t they?).

  7. brandon says:

    Just be thankful it wasn’t a colon stone!

  8. Jeff says:

    Congratulations on the eviction of your stone! Did you experience immediately relief or does it leave a trail of destruction?

  9. Sue says:

    I forgave the dead air in the beginning when I heard “as long as they’re little blue pills you should stay up all night”.

    Very nice! I’m so happy you’re feeling better now.

  10. Karl says:

    Owch, yeah, that Mr. Sharpie looks MEAN. Glad it’s over.

  11. Miss Britt says:

    Sometimes I wish you didn’t write so clearly.

    This is one of those times.

    But still – YAY!!!!

  12. jodi says:

    Yeah, I was in Fremont when it happened. It didn’t even touch us. I don’t even remember if I had a tough time commuting home to the East side, to be honest.

    My friend was a protester, tho. Non-violent but passionate. I think the WTO was a life defining time for him.

  13. Ouch. The Mr Sharpie graphic is exactly how I imagine kidney stones will look like prior to them popping out to say hello.

  14. Chris says:

    I agree, I have no desire to see it either. Both Bryan and I had to walk through the riots to get to a bus to get us home from downtown that week. No need to relive those memories.

  15. Avitable says:

    Are you going to keep Mr. Sharpie for posterity?

  16. ssp says:

    At least the protesters left an impression in this way. What would you remember today if they had politely held some messages up?

    I guess these aren’t the sixties anymore but even the people who want to improve the world have taken their lessons from advertising…

  17. Dave2 says:

    Uh… yeah… but look at what I’m remembering them for… not what they were protesting against, but instead for being destructive assholes that damaged businesses and personal property that other people had to pay for. How am I supposed to be sympathetic to their cause when they’ve done such harm to get their message across?

  18. Poppy says:

    Congratulations on your new addition!

  19. Mrs. K says:

    I’m so glad that Mr. Sharpie has left the building and that you are back to your usual mischievous self. Stay healthy!

  20. Troy says:

    Congrats on passing your little nemesis. Let’s hope that he and his friends stay away from your bladder and urethra and penis for a long long time 🙂

  21. Colin Brooks says:

    O…M…G! Ow ow owwww! I’m glad things are okay now but I don’t know if I would be able to get through this without screaming loud enough to crack every glass in a 5 mile radius.

  22. Stacey says:

    Glad you’re feeling better!

  23. Winter says:

    It was the fear of the dreaded Ultrasound that did it. Mr. Sharpie would rather be flushed than disintegrated. Glad you’re doing better!

  24. Catherine says:

    w00t, you are rid of that evil thing, yay!

    I was working the PBX at the WAC when the riots happened; we (front desk staff) had to stay there for a couple nights. I thought, Jeez, good thing we work at a hotel, what’s everybody else doing? Sounds like I was just a few blocks away from you (Sixth and Union). We had some pretty jaw-dropping stuff happening right outside the door. I only wish I had the camera I have now (or any camera, really). Storm Troopers forming a wall of dark blue with these big shields and shit. Amazing. And overblown, and mishandled.

  25. jester says:

    The dead air was a bummer, but shit happens, right? Congratulations on the bouncing baby boy. Stone is a great name…

    Oh wait… That’s not what happened here. Never mind.

  26. Oh my GOD – I can feel the relief just by reading your post, man.

    Is there someway somehow you can prevent this from happening again in the future? It’s too painful for me to read all about it.

  27. I’m glad to hear your “shoe” is going to be ok.

  28. Catherine says:

    HA! LOL, Atomic Bombshell.

  29. SFChick74 says:

    That’s probably close to what the stone actually looks like. They are spiky little pebbles of calcium from what I can remember of my Dad’s experience with them. He had them 10 years ago and hasn’t had once since. I think his secret is that he drinks plenty of water.

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