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Posted on Wednesday, April 9th, 2008

Dave!Thanks to everybody who has been leaving comments and sending me e-cards while I've been sick. It's nice to be so beloved by the blogosphere.

Well, maybe not "beloved," but at least "well-liked."

Anyway... for everybody who tuned into The Jester Show expecting to hear me there last Wednesday, I'm sorry you only got ten minutes of Dave-time. I had to be rushed to the hospital so I could scream and cry in a room full of complete strangers. Which, when you think about it, is a lot like appearing on The Jester Show... except Jester isn't there and nobody is recording it.

Well, now that I have a big bag full of pain-killing drugs to keep me somewhat sane, Jester has kindly agreed to have me on again tonight. If you don't mind all kinds of not-appropriate-for-children talk, I invite you to join me at The Jester Show tonight at 7:00pm Pacific, 10:00pm Eastern on BlogTalk Radio...

The Jester Show!

When you combine my 20% gay fierceness with Jester's 100% gay fierceness, that's 120% gay fierceness all in one radio show, which just might exceed the BlogTalk Radio standards for overall gay fierceness...

Dave Fierce 20%

For more about my appearance on The Jester Show, you can read my Blogography entry from last week.

And now, if you'll excuse me, there's a bottle of pills calling my name.


But while I am still in a pain-induced cranky mood, is it just me... or is this the stupidest fucking BlogHer Conference ad ever...

Stupid Blogher08 Ad

"What happens at BlogHer stays at Blogher?"

Oh really?


What happens at BlogHer will be written about in no less than 1000 blogs ("OH MY GAWD... DOOCE IS HERE!!!"). Every tiny possible BlogHer detail will be posted on Twitter ("OH MY GAWD... I JUST SAW DOOCE!!!"). Flickr will be busting at the seams with BlogHer photos ("OH MY GAWD... HERE'S A PHOTO OF DOOCE WALKING INTO THE BATHROOM!!!). There will be BlogHer podcasts ("OH MY GAWD... IF YOU LISTEN CAREFULLY, YOU CAN HEAR DOOCE DROPPING A DUECE!!!"). YouTube will be overrun with BlogHer video ("OH MY GAWD... HERE WE ARE CHASING DOOCE IN THE PARKING LOT!!!"). For three days in July, I can assure you that the shit happening at BlogHer is not going to be staying at BlogHer, it's going to be posted to the internet in every conceivable way.

Which is kind of the point, isn't it?

But I guess if BlogHer wants to trot out that tired old "What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas" rhetoric (which would have been somewhat excusable if the conference actually took place in Vegas instead of San Francisco), then more power to them. Perhaps enticing ladies to attend by making them think they're going to have some dirty little weekend away from the husband/kids/whatever is how they sell tickets. I just find it sad that a network built to empower women on the internet has to resort to such an obvious sexist cliche as "girls weekend away."

Categories: Blogging 2008, DaveLife 2008Click To It: Permalink


  1. Miss Britt says:

    Everyone knows bloggers don’t keep secrets. That marketing is fucking retarded.

  2. Winter says:

    Dave, surely someone we know is going… and taking a video device of some kind. I’m sure Fab’s probably lined up someone to record any fisting that might occur. There must be someone who is ready to record, and post, the girl-on-girl action for our delectation!

  3. NYCWD says:

    You just recapped BlogHer 2008 better than any of the BlogHer bloggers ever could.

    Because you know they would have named it DooceHer… but then all the freaks looking for 2Girls1Cup would’ve shown up.

  4. Karl says:

    Haven’t seen that ad yet. Huh. Does seem a bit odd.

    And you should totally go to BlogHer. It’s like a 10-to-1 girl to guy ratio!

  5. sizzle says:

    And here I was all set to have wild sex with other BlogHer attendees!


  6. 1) Beloved.

    2) I was at a conference for idealistic young people in, New Orleans of all places, and at least a couple of the young men tried to “get some” by suggesting that “New Orleans is just one of those places… where things happen… that you never talk about again…”

  7. Yeah, not going to BlogHer. Fuck that shit. I would rather stay at home and watch “Finding Nemo” for the 9-millionth time.

    OK, who am I kidding?

  8. Mr. Fabulous says:

    I am skipping all posts that have to do with Blog Her. Fuck Blog Her.

  9. the patient says:

    No shit. This is in sf this time around? Go figure, right after I propose. But then it is not like my blog has ever attracted women to me, so why would I? Or for that matter that I even blog anymore.

    And for the record, I have at least been thinking thoughts about you and your suffering, if not getting a chance to actually communicate such thoughts. Sorry.

  10. Avitable says:

    You and Karl should go together sometime and be the talk of BlogHer.

  11. Kyra (savy) says:

    Some day I’ll attend BlogHer. I think.

    Would you just start feeling all better already? It’s against the rules to be sick, you know.

  12. Poppy says:



    I aaaaaaalmost went to BlogHer with my best bud B last year, but we decided that we were just going because we wanted to hang out with each other, not other women, so why spend the money? I flew to TX to see her instead.

  13. Poppy says:

    PS – NOT defending BlogHer advertising, but I think they’re making a j-o-k-e about the whole Vegas thing.

    They put photos up of people doing stupidass shit next to that slogan. Their point is more likely “yah, right, anything you do here is toooootally going all over the internetses.”

  14. Dave2 says:


    Oh yes… I totally get it… that’s why I said “Which is kind of the point, isn’t it?” Everybody knows everything there is going to be blogged about, though I think most of that is going to be “OMG! DOOOOOCE!” crap.

    My problem with the ad is that it’s a take-off of the whole “What stays in Vegas…” ad campaign, which has an entirely different connotation that’s totally inappropriate to those who take the conference seriously (of course, I think the same thing about them inviting Dooce to celebrate her birthday, but whatever).

    I think this ad propagates the stigma of this being a frivolous conference which is just window dressing for a “girl’s weekend away.” I know people who are involved in BlogHer that are serious about it as a resource for women on the internet, and this ad is a disservice to them.


  15. Good God, man. Where have I been? I am just now finding you. I’m sold. Instantly.

    And, yeah, your summary of BlogHer is the main reason I am still on the fence about going. And I’m co-hosting a fookin’ cocktail reception for it the night before. Nice, right?

  16. Hilly Sue says:

    Karl is still dead set on dragging me to BlogHer. Even though I love a lot of the women who are big BlogHer supporters, we all KNOW that it is so not my kind of event.

    Although I’d much rather be there than have to be home reading all of those fucking BlogHer tweets. God, that is going to be a hot mess.

  17. Poppy says:

    I was supposed to take BlogHer seriously and feel like an empowered woman?


  18. Hilly Sue says:

    Hahaha, wait I have to point out that I am a total hypocrite though. Ahem, I am sure *I* will be annoying people with TC tweets. *snort*

  19. Poppy Buxom says:

    I went to BlogHer 2007 because it was in Chicago, but I basically treated it as a girl’s weekend away. I dumped my kids on my husband for the weekend and went and hung out with my blogging buddies.

    The panels I actually bothered to attend were pretty lame. The best part was the social stuff. The worst was the relentless promotion by commercial firms trying to cash in on a lucrative new market.

    And the BlogHer people were totally lapping that shit up. So as ads go, the “What Happens at Blogher” concept is both lame and derivative–but maybe it isn’t the worst marketing strategy, because like an “alternative” radio station, BlogHer pretends to be cutting edge, but isn’t.

    I mean, don’t we all already know that the majority of internet users are female? And female bloggers? Unempowered? Um, no. We’re like cockroaches–we’re all over the place.

  20. DutchBitch says:

    OMFG! Those stones just won’t let off will they? Hope you feel better soon.

    And pffttt on the BlogHer ad. Nothings stays within anything around here. In our outside of BlogHer!!! Gah!

  21. That’s funny… I went to a little blogger meet-up (visit for details – there were like 8 of us) last month and our banner said: What happens in Vegas gets blogged about the next day!

    And Dave, I seriously hope you’re feeling better.

  22. karla says:

    Yeay, I can download you on my iPod and listen to you stoned!

    I’d rather attend TequilaCon than BlogHer…what does that say about MY seriousness and empowerment, I wonder?

  23. lizriz says:

    LOL – Your riff on the BlogHer ad is hysterical!

    You know, lately on BlogHer there’s been a few posts about how BlogHer is so serious that the more frivolous of us aren’t sure if we fit in – Which of course, we do – That’s what BlogHer is all about – all different women being themselves. So I think the ad is saying, Hey, BlogHer is fun, too! And, of course, everything – from the serious to the frivolous – will be all over the net.

    But now, Dave, thanks to this post, I am *SO* going to Twitter every single time I see Dooce. LOL I’m also formulating a video blog just for you…

    Hilly, if you don’t have a great time at BlogHer, I hereby promise to take you out for dinner and drinks when we get back to L.A. 🙂

  24. Dave2 says:

    Funny you should chime in. I was thinking of you (and a few other BlogHer ladies) when I wrote it. Here you do your part to work so hard to make a credible, authoritative, and entertaining resource for women… only to have your premiere event sabotaged as a “dirty little weekend” in a throw-away ad. To what end? I don’t get this as being “women being themselves” at all. Yes, BlogHer can be fun (I read your articles!), and that should be part of the message… but not like this. The “What Happens in Vegas” mindset is firmly set as something entirely different in people’s consciousness.

    Oh well.

    Perhaps if it doesn’t bother you it shouldn’t bother me, but it does. It’s so off-message from everything I was led to believe that BlogHer was about.


    Made my morning. So thanks.

  26. lizriz says:

    I guess I just feel like it’s one ad of many about the many facets of BlogHer.

    I mean, it is a conference. There will be lots of sessions on social networking and blogging and tech… And then there will be parties and fun!

    I don’t think the fun in any way diminishes the serious stuff.

  27. ChillyWilly says:

    As with Kevin’s comment above, you had me ROFL LMAO with the following:


    Agreed about how the context of the BlogHer ad doesn’t fit the overall mantra and purpose of the BlogHer community.

  28. Dustin says:

    Ya, that is probably the most inaccurate BlogHer ad. Got me to thinking though, “What about a BlogHim.” Googled it and wouldn’t you know, Neil over at Citizen of the Month is the number 1 & 2 result from like 2 years ago.

    God I feel like an unoriginal bastard.

  29. Melanie says:

    When BlogHer the First came out, I was both interested and jealous. I wanted to go pretty badly… I figured there’d be a lot of good information that I could use to further my blog (back then I thought I’d get famous by blogging, believe it or not. Har har har). I was bitterly jealous of everyone who got to go.
    And then the posts started rolling in, and I watched in disbelief as everybody focused on “how much fun we’re having” and “how many drinks I drank” and “how funny I look with my new hair” and blah blah blah… which was when I decided I was glad I didn’t go.
    If I ever got a free ticket, you bet I’d go. I’m not dumb. But I won’t ever tell anyone it’s on the pretext of furthering my blog. Because it totally wouldn’t be the case, as it isn’t for a lot of these women.

  30. Dave2 says:

    Well, that certainly makes sense.

    But, in defense of BlogHer, I’d be willing to bet that the more informative sessions DO take place… it’s just that they’re not as exciting to blog about. 🙂

  31. Yeah, this is just one ad that speaks to one element of the conferences. And we consider it *ironic* because of course it’s all blogged to death.

    And it’s true that some people think we all take ourselves too seriously, what with the Tech track and the Business track and the Identity track and the Politics/Activism etc., while others think it’s all a big party, so you know, showing this ad in between other promotion we do for charitable organizations and the serious interviews we feature on our site just didn’t feel disrespectful to me, so much as just a nice, silly break.

    But perhaps your reaction goes to show that what amuses me doesn’t always translate to a wider audience 🙂

  32. Dave2 says:

    Thanks for the comment, Elisa!

    Herein lies the fine line we walk… if it was a GUY who came up with the whole “What happens at BlogHer stays at BlogHer” thing, I bet you serious money that he would be crucified. Somebody would latch hold of it, equate Las Vegas as a city built on the exploitation of women as hookers or strippers, tie that to the idea that BlogHer 2008 is being portrayed as frivolous girly weekend of sin and debauchery, then absolutely crucify him.

    That misogynistic bastard. 🙂

    As I’ve said here a couple of times, I understand that the “fun” of connecting at BlogHer is why many people are going in the first place. Heck, when I go to a blogger meet-up, that’s about the ONLY reason I’m going. But this is the premiere event of the year for BlogHer, and I still feel that the message that this ad is sending gives the wrong impression of the conference. It would be different if it where in the context of “Connect – Share – Learn – Have Fun!” (which is what MY impression of BlogHer 2008 is about after looking at the schedule and list of speakers you’ve lined up), but anybody inundated with the “What happens in Vegas…” campaign (and who hasn’t been?) is not going to get that context if they don’t already know what BlogHer is. And isn’t that MOST of the people exposed to your advertising in the BlogHer network?

    I am a fan of some of your writers, and my entire reason for talking about the ad was because I felt it belittles their contribution and what they are trying to accomplish with their words and hearts. Obviously, if the ladies of BlogHer feel different, then who am I to argue the point?

    Oh yeah… I’m a blogger. 🙂

  33. Stacey says:

    I can’t imagine going to any conference with that many women in one place. I’m still suffering from PTSD after my childhood sleepover party days.

  34. Oh, i totally get what you’re saying David, I just don’t know if most people think about it quite that hard. Just today i got an email from a woman who attended BlogHer Business last week, which included in its opening paragraph “What happens in New York stays in New York ;)”

    I’m not even sure I agree that if a guy said it about BlogHer, people would wig out. I would totally cop to it, though, that it’s over-used and cliched 🙂

  35. kilax says:

    I stopped reading someone’s blog because they kept talking about how much they worship dooce. L-A-M-E.

  36. kilax says:

    Oh, and I hope you get better soon, buddy 🙁

  37. TequilaCon is where it really at, anyway. Not going to BlogHer….been there, done that, got 15 promotional t-shirts. 🙂

  38. ChillyWilly says:

    I see Dave’s point in his issue with the “What Stays In Vegas” ad. Those that already are tuned into the overused cliched phrase will get it. Those that don’t, may not see the bigger picture of what the purpose of the BlogHer event is all about.

    I guess the key question here is: What kind of people are expected to be attracted via the “Vegas” ad? Or was it created solely for those that already “get it”?

  39. jewelz says:

    Hey Dave….
    just wanted to send you some get well wishes from Grand Rapids, MI. Love your blog! Hope you’re feeling better sooon….get that stone passed and you’ll be feeling good. Don’t you love the pain meds though? I’m all for better living through chemistry!!! I’m a total ‘ho’ for Vicodin….love that stuff. (And no, I’m not an addict…I’m an occasional ‘user’ when my fucked up knees are feeling particularly painful.)
    Anywho….keep pushing the fluids and all that crap…yada, yada, yada.

  40. Catherine says:

    I sure hope you get better soon. Although pain meds can be kinda fun 🙂

    I’m thinking good, pain-free, no-stone thoughts for you.

  41. wonder what they talk about in the sessions. “write. that is all. good day.”

    although i would so go if i could so i ain’t even gonna make fun of them.

    hope that stone exits soon. push him out, shove him out, waaaaay out!

    p.s. well done over at jester’s place!

  42. kapgar says:

    Somehow I just knew that Dooce and Deuce would somehow be put together in one of your statements. Thank you for that!

  43. Tori says:

    I have zero affiliation with BlogHer, but if I still lived here in July (San Francisco area) I’d probably just go to people watch… of course the only person I’d recognize is Heather/Dooce and then I’d HAVE to twitter it… cuz… duh!

  44. jester says:

    I’m actually good friends with one of the main planners of the BlogHer conference. I met two of the founders of BlogHer at a party a few weeks ago.

    I’m actually talking to them about doing something cool with gay bloggers.

    That being said, I thought the ad was pretty funny for its irony. Of COURSE what happens there doesn’t stay there.

    It drives me crazy that everyone goes batshit crazy over Dooce. There’s more talent in your worst post than her best, and I don’t you getting all that acclaim.


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