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Posted on Monday, April 14th, 2008

Dave!Holy crap.

Am I the only one who thinks that Hillary Clinton has just reached the point where she is completely and totally unelectable? And if she keeps being a douche, Obama is going to be unelectable too. I guess this means that McCain is our next president. Oh well. I've had a pretty good life... I guess I'm okay with the Apocalypse in 2009.

But first I need to achieve world domination. And I'm thinking that I'll need a couple billion dollars to get that going.

Perhaps there's an opportunity in the gourmet hot cocoa market?

Davebucks Cocoa

I could serve super-expensive cocoa with a variety of configurations and flavorings!

I can hear it now...

"I'd like a grande half-soy vanilla blended cocoa with foam plus whip cream and pink sprinkles... extra hot!"

"That will be $8.00 please!"

Yeah, there's a billion dollar idea right there...

Categories: DaveToons 2008, News - Politics 2008Click To It: Permalink


  1. NYCWD says:

    You need to have flavored whip cream. This way when it melts into the cocoa… its like a little extra treat.

    When are you going to offer franchise opportunities?

  2. Winter says:

    I would so buy your cocoa Dave. Especially since I still have a job… for the moment! LOL

  3. Tori says:

    are you starting a cult? can I follow? where’s the application?!?!?

  4. Karl says:

    I’m totally in. What’s the franchise fee?

  5. How about tea? Do you serve tea here?

  6. Whit says:

    I drink your milkshake.

    Wait, what?

    Did you ever have that melted chocolate drink that Starbucks had a couple of years ago? It was insane.

    BTW, I’ve felt that Hillary was unelectable long before she started running.

  7. Mr. Fabulous says:


  8. Lisa says:

    I totally agree with the doucheness but I’m still not voting for McCain.

    I’m also with Dawg on the flavored whip cream.

    Gah, I’m a total follower today.

  9. Turnbaby says:

    Mmmmmmmm hot chocolate —sign me UP!!

  10. kilax says:

    I’ve decided to quit thinking about the election and go hide under a rock. Call me when it’s safe to come out.

  11. Weirder things have happened – there’s a HUGE storefront in the local mall dedicated to selling 100’s of different kinds of tea, called Teatopia. I like tea but it’s no coffee. Cocoatopia woulda been better.

  12. Sue says:

    To answer your opening question. No, You are not the only one.

    The last things I heard about either of them were the ‘bitter’ comments Obama made. Being that he hit the nail on the head for most of my small, rural town in PA, it really shocked me to hear Hairilly’s response that Obama’s statements were ‘demeaning’ to those of us who were, actually, bitter.

    How the hell would she know if he was right or not? She’s lived in the lap of luxury her entire life! She should try living in a rural PA county tucked far away from the joys of modern society barely struggling to get a foot in the door of the new century, or at least make an attempt to visit us, before defending us. In fact, she’s only visiting big cities, like Philly and Erie and Pittsburgh. So much for defending the little guy.

  13. Robin says:

    I hate coffee—love cocoa! Totally in! Where can I get a cup?

    Wait, just paid my taxes. I don’t have $8.00 for cocoa now. ;-(

  14. Michelle says:

    Well I don’t have that kind of money…… but you have my vote….er…. submission……. or whatever. And I can definitely afford an overpriced hot chocolate every now and again.

  15. Lewis says:

    The longer those two stay in the boxing ring, the wider the smile on grandpa McCain’s face. I’m itching to slap the shit outta both of them.

  16. Hilly Sue says:

    And you know, if you open a franchise here, you can call it Dave’s California Cocoa and do even weirder shit to it (kind of like CPK).

    Mmmmmm, cocoa.

  17. Kyra says:

    Chocolate… you had me at chocolate. Think we can make Reese’s version? Cause, that’s like liquid lust right there.

  18. Shiny says:

    Awesome! What kind of sub-par, overpriced CDs will you be selling at your establishment?

  19. Did you see the footage of her drinking shots of whisky or scotch at that party? I was completely taken aback…

  20. Iron Fist says:

    Yeah, that’s funny. But as a representative of St@rbucks Corporation, I’m afraid I’m going to have to sue the bejeezus out of you know for using anything vaguely resembling our logo. Just wait till next year when our copyright on using green circles gets approved.

  21. You can call me, 'Sir' says:

    Did you see the shots of her doing shots with the blue-collar workers of America (probably after talking about her ability to fire weapons indiscriminately). A couple more shots of the pain-relieving brown liquor and she’ll be whipping the shot glass through a window and yelling ‘COCKSUCKERS!!!’ at no one in particular.

    That’s when she’d get my vote.

  22. kapgar says:

    Can I be an investor?

  23. Avitable says:

    I’d totally pay $8 for some Davebucks Cocoa!

  24. Hilly Sue says:

    Haha, I totally saw Sugarpanties’ comment as “Cocktopia”. I need an aspirin :D.

  25. Lora says:

    I’m with on both the Hillary and cocoa issues. I keep wanting to yell “SHUT UP” at Hillary…she’s just making things worse for herself. And please open a Cocoa shop…I’ll be there everyday!

  26. Krissi says:

    “I guess I’m okay with the Apocalypse in 2009.”

    That crazy alien show that plays on the radio in the middle of the night says it’ll be in 2012, not 2009 – doh. What do you listen to, talk radio, instead? *sarcasm*

  27. ChillyWilly says:

    Just say no to McCain. I can’t imagine what much worse could happen after the shit mess Bush has left us in.

    As for a billion dollar idea, cocoa could work, although here in Utah, there were several hot cocoa places that didn’t last. Starbucks pretty much came in and took over.

    I’m still trying to find the billion dollar idea. Sometimes it takes years.

  28. Foo says:

    ooooh…love hot cocoa. Instead of selling all of the pastry crap, you could sell pudding. Pudding and Cocoa, pure heaven.

  29. Dustin says:

    Can I get a Mocha Cocoa with extra Mocha, please? Yes, I realize the inherent redundancy in that statement and I don’t care.

  30. Being the Senator from Arizona, McCain gets a free ride on the local TV here. Still a douchebag though. Now, my only problem is that they don’t let foreigners vote. Bugger. I pay my taxes dammit.

  31. Poppy says:

    Dave, I am counting on you. Can you PLEASE explain what “dry” means in Starbucks lingo?

    Does that mean if, for instance, I ordered my Americano they would serve me *just* espresso shots, no water?

    I don’t like soy milk, which is very unfortunately since I am certain I’ve developed an adult allergy to cow milk.

    Let’s see, anything else I can tell you in this one comment? … nope!

  32. Belinda says:

    Actually, I think it would work. There are tons of folks who don’t like coffee but are just dying to be separated from their money on a fad that lets them feel like they’re part of something “hip.” Tap into it, baby!

  33. whall says:

    The Apocolypse is december 21st, 2012, Dave. Astrologically speaking, the galactic core and the sun will become ‘conjunct’ from Earth’s point of view.

    Personally, I predict a rapture-like event followed by everyone who’s left becoming telepathic.

    By that time, my Davebucks will cost $37.

  34. Sure, I’d like to wash away the foul taste of these presidential elections with a nice tasty cup of cocoa.

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