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Tabloid

Posted on Thursday, March 6th, 2008

Dave!Today was a wacky day of catching up on work and trying to arrange travel plans for another three trips I've got coming up.

And looking over Apple's FREE iPhone Software Development Kit (or SDK) which was released this morning. If you're not a programmer, it can be somewhat technical and boring, but you can watch His Holiness Steve Jobs describe what's going on via QuickTime here (the demo hotness starts just over half-way through). Suffice to say... I am completely blown away. I simply did not anticipate that the SDK would be so refined, polished, and powerful. Developers are going to be FLOCKING to the iPhone, which means iPhone users are in for some incredibly cool stuff come June when the 2.0 software upgrade drops. I have some concerns about required distribution through the iTunes Music Store (though if you give your stuff away for free, there's no charge once you've paid the $99 developer fee), but overall I am very, very excited. iPhone is going to OWN the mobile market... sweet!

Anyway, somewhere along the day, I was asked to make a fake "tabloid magazine" prop for a play that's being put on at the High School. It's fun doing wacky stuff like this from time to time...

Strange But True!
I would so totally buy this!

And now for another installment of Response to Hate-Mail...

Dear Dumbass,
Thank you for your wonderful email chastising me for "showing disrespect to The Queen of England" (from this entry, I'm guessing). A few points... #1: Her Majesty is not the "Queen of England," but instead constitutional monarch (The Queen) of the United Kingdom of Great Britain & Northern Ireland, and Head of the Commonwealth. There hasn't been a "Queen of England" since 1603. Since your IP address is actually located in England, I can only express my sadness that your educational system is apparently as bad as ours here in the USA. #2: I have nothing but the upmost respect for Her Majesty, and wouldn't dream of showing her any disrespect. If wanting to be her friend is disrespectful, then this world is in deeper trouble than I thought. #3: I've read a couple biographies of The Queen, and actually admire Her Majesty for taking on a job she never asked for and performing it to the best of her abilities. Her Majesty has led an exemplary life in service, has done so with dignity and devotion to her people, and deserves nothing but respect for it. I know I'll demand nothing less when I'm king of the world, so fuck you for implying I feel otherwise...

Dave King

Good night... I love you my Apple iPhone!


Categories: Apple Stuff 2008, Blogging 2008, DaveToons 2008Click To It: Permalink
   

Comments

  1. Penelope says:

    Oh I do love a good Monarchy discussion over breakfast!
    Great comeback Sir Dave2, HM would be proud ;o)

  2. delmer says:

    My comment was far more disrespectful and I didn’t get squat in the way of hate mail. I’m just unable to stir up the hate in people like you are — maybe I should work on that.

    (By the way, this post contains some of the finest Apple whoring yet. Of course I may be biased, I’ve been plotting my iPhone purchase for a while now.)

  3. Ummmm. Are you changing your last name to “King” now or is that supposed to be a picture of Lil Dave as King? Inquiring minds and all that…

    I suppose that email just proves that even Brits can be dumbasses so it’s not just an American trait. Isn’t that comforting…

  4. Wayne says:

    I can see the headlines from the McCain Politico Machine now… “Steve Jobs makes more in one second of an iPhone SDK promo video than the average iPhone addict makes in one year…”

    (btw, the Dave King graphic doesn’t show up for me in IE, prolly because it’s a tif. I blame quicktime because tif’s used to show up fine, but since I installed the latest quicktime it broke. If I go straight to the url for the pic, quicktime comes up and displays it for me. Dang those pesky Apple developers, taking over my browser helpers!)

  5. bogup says:

    >>”I know I’ll demand nothing less when I’m king of the world, so fuc* you for implying I feel otherwise…”
    One of the best lines, ever. If I knew how, I’d embroider it in size 18 font and put it in a frame.
    Way to go King Dave2.

  6. ChillyWilly says:

    Someone actually took your post as being “disrespectful” to the Queen? I thought it was pretty good, myself.

    Tell that bloke to bugger off and find some other forum that truly needs his backlash.

  7. Avitable says:

    The strangest people get their panties in a bunch reading your blog!

    I’m off to watch the SDK video. Not that I’ll develop anything, but I’d like to see what the potential is.

  8. Tracy says:

    The iPhone is one of the sexist pieces of gear I’ve ever seen, and I can’t have one as long as I’m living here—there’s no AT&T network in Wyoming! Waaaaaaahhhh! Stop waving your phone in my face!

  9. sizzle says:

    Nice work, King Dave. Has a good ring to it!

  10. Hilly Sue says:

    Meh…hate mail is sooooo 2007. Why can’t these people get with the times?

  11. ChillyWilly says:

    Forgot to add this to my last comment…

    I updated my Apple ID to be a developer. It’s been years since I’ve done anything to do with s/w development, but being able to download the SDK for free maybe will help get me interested in doing something useful. I’ve got a 16gb touch, so that’s where I would be starting from.

  12. Tracy Lynn says:

    I don’t understand why I don’t get hate mail. I’m much more of a jerk than you.

  13. Karl says:

    Man, people are morons. Don’t people have a sense of humor?

  14. Dave2 says:

    Penelope… What’s odd here is that a growing percentage of Britons want to abolish the monarchy totally, and yet me photoshopping a cartoon of Lil’ Dave behind Her Majesty is being disrespectful. Whatever. :-)

    Delmer… It’s the name “Delmer.” Seriously, how can you be mad at anybody named “Delmer?” And it’s nice to know that my growing Apple whoring proficiency is being noticed, so thanks for that!

    Librarian… Dumbasses are world-wide. We don’t have a monopoly, though sometimes I wonder…

    Wayne… Ooh! Thanks! Since the Mac graphics layer doesn’t care whether and image is a TIFF graphic (or dozens of other formats), I never even noticed. All better now!

    Bogup… Yes, well, I’ve already got it embroidered across the ass of a pair of Levis, so that might be a bit excessive…

    Willy… They probably read it and inferred something I never said. That happens a lot.

    Avitable… By the time they got around to the Super MonkeyBall demo, I was ready to die for Steve Jobs and Apple.

    Tracy… Really? Shocking! Not only should you move to a different state immediately, I’ve just had to (unfortunately) add Wyoming to my “no-visit” list. :-)

    Sizzle… I’ve always thought so… though I’d settle for “Lord Dave” in a pinch.

    Hilly-Sue… They’re fucking dumbasses. See, it’s an explanation that works for so many occasions!

    Willy… They say the iPod Touch works with the kit too, so you’re all set. I’ve done some very basic stuff… but haven’t paid my $99 so I can actually transfer it to my iPhone. After I’ve used the emulator for a while, I’ll bite the bullet and pony up the cash.

    Tracy… Eh… this email was more “annoying” than “hateful,” but it’s all the same to me. OFF WITH THEIR HEADS! :-)

    Karl… There’s apparently an issue with lack of intelligence at play. Not that I’d ever call somebody a TOTAL DOUCHEBAG MORON or anything, but yeah…

  15. turnbaby says:

    Still shocked anyone gets hate mail–I must not be doing this right ;-)

  16. yellojkt says:

    Man did that guy have his head up the Queen’s butt. I thought that whole divine right thing was over.

  17. hahaha. Long live the queen. I mean, monarch.

  18. Tracy says:

    Dave, feel free to visit…the iPhone will work here, you just can’t buy one and activate it here. I got a demo from the Tech Director of a tour that came through town. It was suuuuuper-hot.

  19. Tobi says:

    She may not be the “Queen of England” but she is a Lord…true story.

  20. Göran says:

    it looks totally cool in Safari on an ipod touch! Iphpne substitute :-)

  21. Dave2 says:

    Turnbaby… I have no idea why I am so “lucky.” :-)

    Yellojkt… Since he didn’t even know her proper title, I’m going to argue that his head is nowhere near her butt!

    Absurdist… Indeed! God save The Queen!

    Tracy… Ah, you need to order one through the Apple Store Online! The phone is not activated by AT&ampT, but through iTunes.

    Tobi… I don’t think so… “lords” (men) and “ladies” (women) are of a lower class than “queen” so I think addressing her by lower station would be an insult of the highest caliber. It’s all explained here

    Göran… Actually, I am working on a new CSS template for iPhone and iPod Touch which eliminates a lot of stuff, enlarges text, and is much more readable on mobile Safari. Problem is that it all has to still load (even if not displayed), so what I really want is a separate site that’s as streamlined as possible, so everything is snappy… even over the EDGE network. That will take some playing around with Movable Type’s dynamically generated pages and such. Sigh. Maybe one day!

  22. Tracy says:

    BTW, I’m loving the new header graphics.

  23. Göran says:

    btw, the new header looks fabulous!
    and, appareantly the “key board” on the touch needs pointier fingers or something :-)

  24. Brandon says:

    Love the new header, it’s much more edgy. In fact, I think you should find a way to throw an X in the mix. Blogography X?

  25. I, too, love my iPhone. Maybe all us iPhone users should get together for an iPhone orgy. Fun!

  26. Tobi says:

    No, no…I realize that Lord is for men, but seriously, she is the Lord Of Mann (Isle of Mann) Really, I’m not lying to you, I promise..

  27. Dave2 says:

    Göran: Oh… I thought that’s what you were talking about.

    Brandon: That would be cool… but this is only the third revision I’ve had since Blogography began, not the tenth. :-(

    Granddaughter: Though we’d probably be too busy playing with our iPhones to do anything interesting.

    Tobi: Sweet! She’s got a lot going on, Her Majesty does! :-)

  28. annie says:

    I have nothing but respect for Her Majesty, also.
    What a difficult thing to be born to that.

    Charles is another story, yuck.

    But now that they’re of age, wouldn’t I love a snog with either of the Princes! Those two are Yummy!

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