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Bullet Sunday 68

Posted on Sunday, February 10th, 2008

Dave!Can you believe it was only a week ago that I was Bullet Sunday-ing with a hangover I got the previous night in Germany? I can't. Time seems to be getting away from me. Or my brain has been destroyed by alcohol.

• Licorice. I haven't eaten much licorice since Jenny unintentionally destroyed my taste for it by exposing me to the atrocity known as "Dutch Double Salt Licorice" while we were watching Pirates of the Caribbean 2. I had commented at the time that the Dutch are ingenious for managing to come up with something that tastes saltier than actual salt. Sometimes in the middle of the night I still wake up screaming because I have flashbacks to the agonizing burning of licorice gone terribly wrong. A year later, and I now learn that a friend of mine has a business importing Australian licorice to Europe. Once I get to his booth at the Germany candy show, he fills a bag full of samples and hands me a lifetime supply of licorice treats.

Which I have almost entirely devoured in just a week's time. This stuff is so fantastically delicious that the only word which comes to mind in describing it is "orgasmic"...

Black Opal Licorice

The licorice is yummy soft, but magically doesn't moosh together into a big sticky clump in the bag. The taste is bold, but tempered with just enough sweetness to keep it from being bitter. I am so addicted to the stuff that I may have to start smoking crack in order to wean myself off of it. While it's made in Australia, Black Opal is actually an American company, so I'm hoping I can buy it locally. If not, I see that Licorice International is importing it, so my dream of banishing the memory of Dutch Double Salt Licorice may finally become a reality.

• Microhoo. My opinion? Microsoft + Yahoo! ≠ Google. Save your money.

• Struck. Unless something totally unexpected happens, the Hollywood writer's strike should be over on Tuesday. Good deal? Yes. Great deal? Not really. I maintain that the writers deserve much more than they got, but that's negotiations for you. Of course, I'd be a lot happier for the writers if they hadn't made side-deals which allowed some writers to return to work while everybody else was on the picket line. Oh well... hopefully new television will be coming back soon, and that's what's really important.

• Paula. Yesterday as I was looking for a paperclip that had skittered under the refrigerator, my iPhone rings...

DAVE: "Hello?"
ROBERT: "DUDE! DID YOU RECORD THE SUPERBOWL?!?"
DAVE: "Errr... no."
ROBERT: "Aw, man! Super Deluxe Girlfriend erased mine."
DAVE: "Well, if it helps any, I hear that the Giants won."
ROBERT: "I don't care about the game, I wanted the half-time show."
DAVE: "Ah. Who was it this year?"
ROBERT: "Paula Abdul."
DAVE: "Uhhh... seriously?"
ROBERT: "Yeah, I like that song she did there."
DAVE: "Well, it would be pretty stupid to put a song out for the Superbowl and not release it. Have you checked with iTunes?"
ROBERT: "No."

At which point he hung up on me. But he called back five minutes later...

DAVE: "Hey, did they have it?"
ROBERT: "Yeah," he says dejectedly, followed by dead silence.
DAVE: "Is something wrong?"
ROBERT: "Without the crowd screaming and all the dancing to distract you, the song's not that good. Paula sounds like a robot singing into a bucket."
DAVE: "Oh. Sorry about that."
ROBERT: "That's okay. It's not your fault you ruined my life.

It would be nice to have a normal conversation with Bad Robert just once.

• Aid. One of the sheer joys left in flying (once you ignore the cramped seats, late departures, lost luggage, and your idiotic fellow passengers) is the SkyMall catalog you get on every flight. I have never purchased anything from it, but boy do I love to look. Half of the stuff is genius, half of it is crap, but all of it is interesting. My favorite item this time around is the "Stealth Secret Sound Amplifier"...

"If a conventional hearing aid sounds like an embarrassment to you, try the Stealth Secret Sound Amplifier. It looks just like a cell phone ear adapter and works as a sound enhancer so you can join conversations and even hear soft voices from 50 feet away. Now you can enjoy the best of both worlds: a more youthful appearance and better hearing."

Hey! It's working! You totally look more youthful...

Stealth Hearing Aid

No. No, I lie. You so totally look like a dick...

Bluetooth Dick

Bah! It's 7:00 and I really should take a minute to eat something. A Black Bean Chipotle Burger is calling me...


Categories: Bullet Sunday 2008, Dave ApprovedClick To It: Permalink
   

Comments

  1. kilax says:

    Oh gosh. I get such a kick out of the silly stuff in that SkyMall magazine! On time I wrote a whole post dedicated to the ridiculous items in there. I never posted it though. Ha ha.

  2. Hilly says:

    I looove black Aussie licorice. My sister and I call it MAFL for “moist as fuck licorice”. Tasty!

  3. Peggy Archer says:

    The writers may have gotten the short end of the stick, but the real tragedy here is that it’ll be at least another month before I’m back to work, since it takes time to get productions up and running.

    Meanwhile, I’m no longer eligible for any kind of ‘strike aid’ from anyone since there’s technically no strike now.

  4. Iron Fist says:

    Maybe you could import the licorice yourself and sell it? I think that “Dave Approved” seal would go a long way in the marketplace.

  5. Michael says:

    I’m also happy the writer’s strike looks to end. I said months ago the studios would eventually have to offer up something, but the writers wouldn’t get everything they want. That’s the nature of negotiations, each side has to give up something.

  6. borysSNORC says:

    Australia has tonnes of licorice – we have Strawberry Licorice, Black Currant Licorice, Apple Licorice and my favorite… Mango Licorice!!! Finally, something we have Down Under that you guys don’t! Licorice, Tim Tams, Fruit Tingles and kangaroo scrotum coin purses – the ready availability of which just doesn’t make up for our unavailability of iPhones!
    Robyn

  7. Eileen Dover says:

    Trader Joe’s sells Aussie licorice, but well, as an Aussie, I’ll have you know that there’s a lot of people who consume our licorice and it, well, it acts as a laxative.

    Keep your legs crossed, and your buns tight!

  8. kapgar says:

    Black licorice is the best. Especially a lot of the stuff that kilax sent back to me from Italy. Fantastic stuff although some can taste rather harsh.

    A black bean chipotle burger? Woah.

  9. jenny says:

    oh god… not the dutch double salt licorice! i had totally repressed that memory up until now. must find australian licorice!

  10. Meg says:

    Have you a recipe for this black bean chipotle burger? sounds delish!

  11. Rick says:

    Microsoft’s attempt to buy Yahoo has nothing to do with search and everything to do with perception. It’s another Internet illusion that says, “We must have more users than the other guy, regardless of whether we’re making any money.” Problem is, they STILL won’t have more users than Google.

  12. Avitable says:

    I’m not a licorice fan. I am a Bad Robert fan.

  13. I only wear my headset when I HAVE to. I take it off and put it on… I don’t leave it on.

    When they first came out, my boss got one. He was at Circuit City, and the 12 year old salesguy came over to him. He asked, “What is that thing?”, to which my boss replied, “I’m on the away team.”

    Classic.

  14. Karl says:

    Yuck, I HATE black licorice. Cannot stand the taste. Whenever I eat jellybeans, you can be sure there’s going to be a big pile of black jellybeans left over.

    I’m looking forward to the end of the writers strike. This beard is driving me crazy!

  15. Thanks for the tip. I’ll be hunting for this licorice. Sounds delish!

  16. Dave2 says:

    Kilax… If I were obscenely wealthy, I’d call up SkyMall and tell them to send me one of everything!

    Hilly… Aw, you just like saying the word “moist!”

    Peggy… I always wondered about that. The media makes this all abut the writers, but oh so many people are affected when Hollywood shuts down. :-(

    Iron Fist… Yes, but by the time my royalties for the “Dave Approved” seal are collected, each bag would cost $50. Not that it wouldn’t still be totally worth it, mind you…

    Michael… That’s about the only thing all sides can agree to. :-)

    Robyn… Right now I’m very fond of the raspberry licorice I’ve been eating. Quite good!

    Eileen… I have wondered why I’ve been feeling quite regular lately!

    Kapgar… I like Italian licorice okay, but it’s not got enough “sweet” in it for me. The Aussie stuff is positively brilliant for balance.

    Jenny… I always wondered if you went home that night and ate the rest of the bag. Waste not want not, and all that. :-)

    Meg… These were purchased by Garden Burger, and I love them… but I don’t think they make them anymore. I’m really upset about that, because they’re the best veggie burger ever.

    Rick… I just wish Microsoft would take that money and use it to make their products not suck so badly. I’m still hurting from when my Vista user identity disappeared and took all my data with it. The Yahoo! acquisition would only drag them down further.

    Avitable… Let’s see… he likes Paula Abdul and Paris Hilton, so I can only imagine that Avril is in the mix somewhere… so yeah, I get that.

    Absurdist… GAH! HE’S NOT ON THE AWAY TEAM… HE’S BEEN ASSIMILATED BY THE BORG!!

    Karl… Here’s the deal… I too hate black licorice jellybeans. But LOVE a good licorice. I don’t know why. Probably because licorice jelly beans are too sugary?? Also because I don’t like them mixed in with the other flavors.

    Bombshell… It’s worth the trouble finding it! I’m told that Target has it, but haven’t verified that yet.

  17. Lisa says:

    Gardenburger still makes the Blackbean Chipolte Burger or is that what you were trying to say? Personally I love, love, love the Boca burger and would eat it over a real burger any day. I mean instead of not like layered over real meat.

    “Microhoo”…that’s a good one.

    I think the salty licorice sounds good but I like the taste of Playdough.

    I didn’t know Paula Abdul performed at the Super Bowl…why? Was that necessary?

  18. Dave2 says:

    Are you sure?

    Everywhere I look, the Black Bean Chipotle burger has disappeared off the shelves. When I ask about it, I’m told it was discontinued. :-(

  19. I love that Skymall. Everytime I’m flying, I have to grab myself a copy. I started buying in my last trips… I felt so… so… exclusive.

  20. Miss Britt says:

    hahahahah

    “my iPhone rang”

    Not your phone. Not “my cell rang”. No, your iPhone.

  21. ETinNY says:

    Urk! I’m with Karl. I generally tell people that I’m an omnivore and will eat anything…except licorice! I just somehow can’t abide the taste of anise. About as close as I can come is something that might be seasoned with fennel which similar tasting but, milder. Though, I did take a liking to anise flavored Sambuca when a host in a restaurant offered to pour a shot into my coffee. (I’m less picky when someone offers me a free drink.) I think the the most insidious thing (after Karl Rove & Dick Cheny) is the benignly disguised, licorice flavored white jellybean that sometimes catches me by surprise. Yuk!

  22. Dave2 says:

    Lisa… I used to love the Boca Burgers until they were sold to Kraft and changed the formula… they are kind of wet and waggy now, and make me gag when I try to eat them. Oh well… it was good while it lasted!

    CK… It’s almost torture for me, because Skymall has everything I don’t really need, but still want quite badly. One of these days I’m going to freak out and max my credit card with Skymall goodness!

    Miss Britt… Yeah, you know what that’s like. :-)

    ET… Mmmm… Sambuca! Love the Sambuca! It’s the key ingredient of a specialty drink at the J&M cafe in Seattle’s Pioneer Square… a shooter with coffee, Bailey’s, Sambuca, and whip cream… ordinarily I can’t stand fu-fu drinks like that, but these are pretty tasty.

  23. bogup says:

    So do those Aussie’s make red licorice or is that an oxymoron?

  24. supercereal says:

    I’ve passed by the Black Opal at Target many times, wondering if it was worth a try. Now I know!

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