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Plodding

Posted on Monday, February 12th, 2007

Dave!Today I got lambasted by a friend because I am not watching Lost and Heroes.

"HOW CAN YOU NOT BE WATCHING THE TWO COOLEST SHOWS ON TELEVISION?!? she screamed at me. "OMG! THEY ARE BOTH GETTING SOOOOOOOO GOOD JUST NOW!"

Yeah, well I had fallen for that before, and swore never again, so I decided to ask a few questions about Lost...

  • "Have they explained what the smoke monster is?" — No.
  • "Have they explained what The Others wanted with Walt?" — No.
  • "Have they explained why The Others took the baby?" — No.
  • "Have they explained what The Others are doing on the island?" — No.
  • "Have they explained what Hurley's numbers mean?" — No.
  • "Have they explained what the island is for?" — No.
  • "HAVE THEY EXPLAINED ANYTHING ON THAT STUPID, STUPID SHOW?" — No.
  • So, in other words, they're still just piling more confusing shit on top of the same old crap instead of wrapping anything up and going forward? — Uhhh... yes?

Uh huh. No thanks. If this were truly a GOOD show (like Veronica Mars) then most of the questions would have been answered by now, and they would be moving on to newer, more interesting mysteries. I have no desire to be strung along by lazy writers who can't figure this out. We're half-way through Season 3 and monkeys are more likely to fly out of my ass than anything getting resolved on Lost any time soon...

Monkeys Fly Out of My Ass

And for Heroes, it's even easier...

  • "Are we getting more than one decent 'super-power' special effect per episode?" — Not really.

Well there you go. Heroes is just plodding along with boring-ass "B-characters" like "Mirror Girl" and "Mind-Reader Guy" while everybody with interesting powers just sit around talking about boring shit. Forget it. Until somebody gets the money to make a REAL super-hero show where people who can fly ACTUALLY F#@%ING FLY and shit... it's just not worth my time. I'll read a comic book WHERE STUFF ACTUALLY HAPPENS if I want to see heroes.

Anyway... I've taken an alphabet meme from 511 and slapped it in an extended entry, because it's probably more interesting than watching an episode of non-Heroes tonight...

A- Available or Single? Yes.
B- Best Friend? I have three.
C- Cake or Pie? I live for my grandmother's apple pie. Truly one of the best things on this earth.
D- Drink of Choice? Coke with Lime (for as long as I can get it, anyway).
E- Essential Item? My MacBook Pro.
F- Favorite Color? Periwinkle Blue.
G- Gummi Bears or Worms? Bears. If you fold them backwards, they look like they have boobies!
H- Hometown? Edinburgh, Scotland (I wish).
I- Indulgence? Snack-Pack Pudding.
J- January or February? Probably February, since January is more hectic for me.
K- Kids and Names? None.
L- Life is incomplete without…? Apple Macintosh.
M- Marriage Date? June 14th, 2010.
N- Number of Siblings? One.
O- Oranges or Apples? I live in the one-time "Apple Capital of the World" (now it's probably in China somewhere), so I am going to have to go with apples.
P- Phobias/Fears? Heights. Bugs. Clowns.
Q- Favorite Quote? "No matter where you go, there you are." —Buckaroo Banzai.
R- Reasons to smile? I'm healthy, relatively happy, and get to see a bit of this world from time to time.
S- Season? Spring.
T- Tag 3 people? I don't tag.
U- Unknown Fact About Me? The one movie that I've seen more times than any other is Death on the Nile starring Peter Ustinov, based on the original Agatha Christie novel.
V- Vegetable You Hate? I loathe broccoli and cauliflower equally.
W- Worst Habit? Swearing.
X- Xrays You’ve Had? Other than teeth x-rays? I can only think of my foot and kidneys.
Y- Your Favorite Foods? Johnny Rocket's Streamliner burger with no onions, extra mayo, and American cheese.
Z- Zodiac? Aries (or a Fire-Horse, if you are of the Chinese astrology persuasion).


Categories: Television 2007Click To It: Permalink
   

Comments

  1. Glenda says:

    Totally agree with you on “Lost” – although for some reason I still watch it for that slim chance they might actually GET SOMEWHERE. But it always lets me down..and then I forget how let down I was and watch it again..only to repeat the whole vicious circle once again. It’s a horrible cycle, maybe one of these days I’ll learn!

  2. Karen Rani says:

    I watched the first two episodes of Lost and thought is was stupid. I caught part of it one night last week and LAUGHED MY ASS OFF at the fact, that Hello? You’re still on an island and shouldn’t you be dead by now?

    I don’t watch Heroes either.

    See Dave, there are people on the net as cool as me. Congratulations, you’re one of them. :)

    P.S. If you ever make another cartoon like the one about the chatty woman on the plane again, you ought to post a “Please Urinate Before Reading” sign beforehand. Take heed, weak bladdered people!

    P.P.S. I’m sorry this is so long. I’m tired and blabby.

  3. Kapha says:

    I think you should edit your W response to be: “F***ing swearing”

    Now I’m gonna have to see Buckaroo Bonzai again – been a long, long time.

  4. Nicole says:

    Every season I start watching “Lost” again. I made it halfway through episode two this season before I gave up. I’ve realized that the previews for each week tell you all you need to know about each episode…namely that nothing has happened and even if you think something important might happen, the previews for the next week let you know you were wrong.

    I heart Veronica Mars.

  5. taboman says:

    how can you hate cauliflower? that’s weird. do you like tofu?

  6. adena says:

    I love that you’re a vegetarian that doesn’t really like vegetables. :)

  7. Mike says:

    Dave, come on!

    I totally agree with you on Lost (and almost all of the stuff you write), but how can you throw Heroes in the same category? I like the slower pace of the show. It shows that even if you have super-powers, you still have to deal with “real life” issues. The complex storyline keeps me interested, and I’m always curious to see where this will go. And unlike Lost, it goes somewhere.

    Every character has substance, and as the show moves forward you can see them struggle with inner demons. To me that’s more interesting than seeing Nathan fly, Jessica rip a guy in two or Hiro shake his face. :-)

    I would hate for the show to become something like the main characters form an alliance of some kind and go after a different monster/killer/problem every week. If they get matching outfits, I might kill myself.

    I think that what makes it so good for me, is that each character is an classic hero archetype in a non-classic setting. It’s hard for them to do stuff, in spite of having powers.

    I admit I had my doubts after the first few episodes, but I’m glad i gave it a second chance.

    Anyways, just my 0.02$.

    Thanks for the great blog. I really enjoy reading it.

  8. Avitable says:

    Heroes, while still mediocre, has benefited from the addition of Christopher Eccleston (Dr. Who in the first season of the new BBC series) to the cast as an invisible man. I still watch it, but I fast forward through many scenes.

  9. Janet says:

    This has been my favorite post for several days if only because of you have drawn pooping monkeys. I’m pretty sure you’re the first artist to do that. I would encourage you to open a gallery with all large print-outs of all your Dave and Monkey cartoons.

    Just a thought. And for the record, I don’t watch either television shows either. It feels good to know I’m not alone.

  10. zuhn says:

    There’s hope yet for your Apple Capital of the World. I found this in Hong Kong.

  11. Bob237 says:

    Ref your comments about special affects. As you say, the big problem is cost and I just don’t see it coming down quickly. So here is a challenge for the budding auteurs among us. How do you effectively suggest superpowers, etc? I sure don’t have the answer…

  12. undisciplined says:

    Hell, I don’t even have a TV. It has been two years so far. Perhaps your friend’s head would explode upon hearing that. I would like to say something along the lines of “I don’t miss television AT ALL!”, but I’ll sound like an elitist ass no matter how I word it. I’ll break soon …if I can ever get my hands on a *#&@ Wii!

  13. diane says:

    Hi Dave! I have the utmost respect for you and, having met you, consider you both a kind and clever human being! Okay? Because what I’m about to say is going to get me blasted…
    Uh…we agree to disagree. I stumbled into VM the other day and was bored out of my mind. Oh, I thought. Look, it’s Buffy, but instead of battling monsters she uses her charm and wit to solve mysteries! Hm, wow, it is a lot like Buffy…right down to the dialogue and flow of the show…
    Now then, as for LOST, I was close…oh so close…to giving up on that show for good. That huge hiatus was about the stupidest thing they could do. But, after this week’s episode, I got into a discussion with a friend about how “we don’t have any answers!” Well, I said, think about what x said to x about x. Doesn’t that tell us that blah blah blah is probably why blah, and then x was in the scene with x which tells us he went to the island with blah, and blah promised blah this and if you look at it all, we really are starting to get hints about who the others are and why they are there and why they might have taken Claire, right? Oh, she said. Oh, you are absolutely right!!
    As you were.

  14. ms. sizzle says:

    i thought the point of lost is that it drags out character development and plot lines. if they told us all that stuff the show would be over. they might as well send a space ship to beam them all up.

    with that said, i’d like to see one or two things on that list resolved.

  15. Karl says:

    I agree with you about “Lost” and things not getting answered, but I’m hooked till the end. I just can’t stop watching and throwing all those hours down the drain.

    I like “Heroes,” too. It’s not an action-packed thriller, but more of a slow-moving vehicle with good characters. Now that some of the “heroes” are beginning to mingle, it’s getting better.

  16. Bre says:

    I watch those shows, but I still don’t actually understand them… and lately I’m getting really irritated by the fact that they don’t tie up any of the loose ends…they’ll have to do it sometime… right?

  17. Dave2 says:

    Glenda… Well, if they actually bother to do something interesting, let me know and I’ll buy the episode off of iTunes! :-)

    Karen… Well, apparently it’s only been 3 months of “Island time” instead of the 3 years it’s been for us… but still…

    Kapha… I just watched it this past weekend. One of the best movies ever!

    Nicole… Exactly. It’s as if the writers are stuck, and just not smart enough to keep reinventing the show. I find this shocking, because creator JJ Abrams did that regularly with Alias. Why so lazy this time?

    Mooselet… Why thank you! My cartoon ass is one of my best features!

    Taboman… Love tofu!

    Adena… Uhhh… just two of them!

    Mike… I’m not saying that the show should go all gimicky with costumes and such. I’m just saying that if a person could actually fly, they would probably do it more often than once a year (even if it was in secret). Without more special effects, the show seems like just a cheesy soap opera where all the interesting stuff happens off-camera. And now I understand that Hiro (who has one of the more interesting powers) LOST HIS ABILITIES! Typical. I mean, come on… Bewitched had more special effects than Heroes, and that was over 30 years ago!

    Avitable… HAH! Invisible man? Priceless! Yet another hero with abilities they don’t have to show!

    Janet… I am surprised I never thought to draw monkeys flying out of my ass before this. Seems like a natural!

    Zuhn… Hah! I noticed that too when I was last in Hong Kong!

    Bob237… With a show as popular as Heroes, and computer FX being relatively cheap… I don’t understand why they don’t have the budget.

    Undisciplined… Sigh. I miss my Wii. I haven’t had time to play with it since I got back. :-(

    Diane… But that’s just guessing. And, while your thinking may turn out to be right, the show itself hasn’t actually hasn’t resolved any of that. At least on Veronica Mars they solve stuff and move on. And, since I loved Buffy, maybe that explains my Veronica Mars addiction!

    Ms. Sizzle… But, if the writers had any kind of imagination, the show WOULDN’T be over! They would simply move on to even bigger and more interesting mysteries. Going back to Alias… the entire point of the show at the start was to destroy SD-6. Well, they did that, and then moved on to something else… the show didn’t end until they let it get boring. :-(

    Karl… I’m glad I stopped watching the shows early then! I don’t have much time invested, so it was easy to walk away.

    Bre… Actually, they don’t. Theoretically, they could keep riding the shows into the ground without resolving anything, then leave you hanging. It happened with other shows (like The Pretender) and, with Lost being so lame and afraid to tie things up, it could very well happen with that show. Then the creators will be like “What happened? We were so popular once!” Never understanding that their audience got tired of waiting.

  18. Laurence says:

    Me I don’t watch Lost (I never understand anything). I don’t watch Heroes too… (because we can’t see it in France) !!!

    I love your meme (I think I will take it)…
    Your fav quote is great ! ;-)

    I love this drawing… Maybe because of the ass !!! (I don’t believe that I said ass… Oh my God… I said it again…) :-D

  19. Dan says:

    I agree about Heroes. I finally sat through an entire episode last night. I had caught a few minutes while surfing during commercials from other shows that I’ve been watching in that time slot. But last night, I dedicated the whole hour to see what was up. Nothing. The plot moved along at a snail’s pace and frankly the good being so easily duped by the evil just makes me want to pull my hair out.

    So I gave it a chance. No more.

  20. kapgar says:

    I’m right there with you on Lost. You know that. However, I must say I do like Heroes. Minus Mirror Girl, that is. Masi Oka makes the show worthwhile for me. I could watch an hour of nothing but him and his buddy working their way through American culture. It’s great.

  21. I’m still watching both. I agree with Kevin, minus mirrorgirl I like ‘Heroes’.

    As for Lost, I still have hope as they are negotiating to end the show (I think after next season), which means *hopefully* they’ll start telling us some answers.

    I’m a glutton for punishment.

  22. jennyq says:

    i just started watching heroes, and am really confused. like – why does that one japanese guy no longer have his powers? who is that evil guy, and does he just absorb other people’s powers? if that one woman is so strong, why doesn’t she just break into a bank and steal money instead of being a hit woman? how come they don’t have someone who can shoot monkeys out of his ass?

    these are the pressing questions on my mind.

  23. suze says:

    I gave up on Lost a long, long time ago – for all the reasons you give. I’m much happier over in Veronica Mars land :)

  24. adena says:

    Sadly, I’ve never watched Veronica Mars…mainly because I’ve missed so much already, and would be lost. I LOVED Buffy, tho’, so I’d probably like it.

    And, speaking of Lost….yeah, I got sucked into the vortex, so now I’m doomed to watch it….I missed this last episode, tho’.

    But, do I win bonus points for borrowing both season 1 and 2 of “Dead Like Me” from my friend? That’s gotta make up for watching Lost.

  25. Hilly says:

    Ummm, that is my favorite quote too…get outta my head. And I have to say that today’s image is really putting you on that cusp of my whole monkeys humping a football image ;).

  26. ~jtm says:

    Well, I’m currently sucked into both Lost and Heroes… Lost reminds me of the time I was watching a show on the History or Discovery channel about sending a robot camera into a pyramid… I watched that damned camera inch lower and lower into the pyramid for an hour only to find out the camera hit a dead end and there was nothing to see. I’m afraid Lost will be like that, and honestly it should have ended a season ago, but I still tune in every week.

  27. sandra says:

    SINGLE??? Dave, did you just break up with me? ;-)

  28. Belinda says:

    I had that exact “Lost” conversation with my husband the other night. He’s asking me to give it another chance, so I promised him three episodes this season, meaning they have three episodes to resolve SOMETHING. They’re 0 for 2 so far.

  29. Dominic says:

    I seriously think Lost is a waste of time but I kinda of agree with your friend that Heroes is cool. It’s OMG cool!.

  30. Troy says:

    I sat through twenty eight episodes of Twin Peaks (plus the pilot) and left the season with more questions than were answered. I’m use to having questions left unanswered (like almost everything else done by David Lynch).

    As for Heroes I like the character development. It does move slowly, but it just makes me want to see the next episode more. Plus I love the fact that they publish a comic book after every episode (it may only be 6 or 7 pages but most of them actually moves the story along).

    Lost is kind of annoying at times, but again I like the characters. So I’m willing to wait.

    I have been intrigued by Veronica Mars. I really need to get the first two seasons on DVD and watch them. That is after I watch Season Four of Scrubs on DVD and Firefly.

  31. Tina says:

    I just got caught on reading your posts and you know what? I like it when you are miserable!

  32. Eve says:

    I can see your point about HEROES, nevertheless, I’m really enjoying it.

    Now, LOST, that’s another story. I watched the first episode and I couldn’t care less about any of the characters. And that’s something, considering they’d all just gone down in a plane crash!!! I just don’t care to watch the show.

  33. Randy says:

    WHY IS THE FAT GUY ON LOST SOOOOO FAT? DOES HE EAT PEOPLE OR SOMETHING. I DON’T WATCH EITHER OF THESE SHOWS.

  34. Michael says:

    I agree with you about Lost. I was SOOO hooked, and then it started dragging. I think the problem might be that nobody expected it to be so popular, so when it became such, the powers that be above JJ Abrams said he should find some way to extend the show out. I guess he didn’t have much of a plan beyond what he originally had. Still, I’m going to watch it until the end, even if I have to sit through week upon week of flashbacks. I have hope for this week’s episode, though, after reading the description.

    But Heroes. It may have slowed down a little, but at least it’s going somewhere faster than Lost is. The events we’ve been foreshadowed to are coming closer, even if seems like they’re not. As for the lack of special effects, I happen to enjoy the drama more than just an episode full of special effects. You have some point about invisible man, though they’ve shown a few shots of him being invisible (well, shots of nothing there, that is). Also, Niki/Jessica got quite a bit of “special powers” action this week. It’s kind of like Battlestar Galactica in that they’re not always flying around space fighting the bad guys. But, I don’t mind that.

  35. delmer says:

    The end-of-show teaser on last night’s LOST said they will answer three of the big mysteries next week.

    Maybe the writers are fans of your blog.

  36. MR-RICKEY says:

    What! No! Oh, I want to give you a big hug and tell you, you’ve gone astray. Veronica Mars should be kicked in the teeth, I didn’t think they could make anything as wildly ridiculous as Smallville, but they did. It’s worse than Dawson’s creek for teenagers who don’t resemble teenagers. I watched the first six episodes, because someone told me “I would love it.” and I the part I loved is when it was over. Veronica Mars is not the torch I would run with.

    LOST is great. No, they have not resolved anything specific and why? Because the resolution of anyone thing logically resolves so many others that they 1) have no idea how to get out of the mess they’ve created in the story line 2) have already planned it all out and are going to drop a bomb on the collective televison world 3) are being told by ABC to stretch for ad revenue as much as possible. I’m more upset with JJ and crew over the hiatus. I’m so sick of shows coming back in 8 weeks after they try to introduce us to some mid-season replacement, test drive series that a. sucks and b. is going to be in a totally different time slot when the show I want to watch is back on….IE: HEROES!

    I “heart” HEROES, but it’s not back until 4/23/07? What the F? I don’t do long distance relationships, this is some BS. I want to karate chop whoever thought this was a good idea. And they do have more than one “super power” per episode, but they don’t have “comic book super-hero” action because that’s not the type of super-hereoes they’re going for; half of them are just learning to use they’re powers… I’m really defending HEROES, no I’m not. It’s a great show and they have flown people like 5 times this season, I don’t know what they’re budget is, but they are using all of it, and next season they’ll have a lot more to work with. Not to mention at the end of the season, this storyline is wrapped up, they producers and writers have “promised fans”, so they’re a leg up on LOST.

    PS: Friday Night Lights is superb.

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