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Posted on Friday, February 9th, 2007

Dave!Will somebody please give me a couple million dollars so I can stop working and travel the earth?

Because this morning I woke up and realized that I have never been to South America and started freaking out. Will I ever get to see Rio de Janeiro's Cristo Redentor before I die? Or the ruins at Machu Picchu? The Galapagos Islands? Iguazu Falls? Angel Falls? Or even Isla Margarita? I think that I would be very disappointed in whatever afterlife awaits if I didn't at least visit Lake Titicaca. Because when hanging out with your deceased friends, I'd imagine nothing would be a better conversation-starter than "Yeah, I did Titicaca."

Perhaps I am being greedy though. I've been lucky enough to have seen more of this planet than many people ever will. Shouldn't I be satisfied with that much?

Being the greedy bastard that I am, I'm fairly certain the answer is "no." Because no matter how much I see and do, there's always someplace new to explore...

Dave Explorers

And really, when I stop and think about it, South America is only the tip of the iceberg. There's a lot of holes on my map that need filling in. A lot of places that I would like to visit. A lot of new friends to make. A lot of life to experience.

Of course, it's entirely possible that I'm just freaking out because I woke up and discovered I was out of clean underwear. I ended up wearing swimming trunks under my pants today, and I'm pretty sure this can mess with your head.


But if somebody still wants to give me a couple million dollars, that would be great.

Categories: DaveToons 2007, Travel 2007Click To It: Permalink


  1. Dave2 says:

    By the way… am I the only one who WASN’T sleeping with Anna Nicole Smith?

    Because now we’ve got Zsa Zsa Gabor’s husband jumping in the paternity race, and I’m starting to feel left out.

  2. Troy says:

    Hey you also haven’t been to Africa, Australia or Antartica. Plus you’ve only seen sucky areas of Canada (trust me Ontario is rather sucky compared to the other places in the country).

  3. diane says:

    Dave–if you can get your hands on it, read Lost City of the Incas by Hiram Bingham. He is the guy that discovered Machu Picchu and it’s his personal (and sometimes exaggerated and pompous, but whatever) account. I have my own personal obsession with places considered highly “spiritual” or “mysterious” (Easter Island, Stonehenge, etc.) and am obsessed with going there some day! (plus I want to pet a baby alpaca, they are so cute)

  4. Dave2 says:

    Troy… Well, as I said, there are a lot of holes to fill in. And I thought that I had been to some very nice places in Canada! I enjoyed very much Victoria, Vancouver, Ottawa, Montreal, and Niagara Falls. Even Toronto was quite a lot of fun for me, really.

    Diane… Wait a second… you want me to read a book by somebody whose ego is bigger than mine? Do you think that I would survive it? 🙂

  5. Speaking of icebergs, I’ll bet you still haven’t been to Antarctica… Put it on the list! 😉

  6. Laurence says:

    OMG ! I just discovered that France is so small and is not the center of the world !!! 😀

    P.S. If I have a couple of million dollars, I will think of you… Promis!

  7. Dave2 says:

    Atomic Bombshell… Actually, I honestly think it would be cool to visit Antarctica, so it’s definitely on the list!

    Laurence… That’s funny. Whenever I am in Paris, it certainly seems like it’s the center of the world!

  8. Suzanne says:

    Sorry, Dave, but you must wait for your millions of dollars to travel the world after I have received mine. I’ve been waiting a bit longer than you…

    However, if I get my millions first, I will consider inviting you along on many a trip, as you seem like you would be an entertaining travel companion and we are interested in visiting many of the same places.


  9. Bogup says:

    Hey Dave. I’ve been to a lot of places in this world, mostly Europe (Britain, Germany, most of France, Italy, Austria, etc), but also Bahamas, British Virgin Islands, Canada, Australia, Mexico, and around 35 states, but all I want (!) is a few $x,xxx for a new MacBook Pro 2.33, plus a 20 in. screen.

    So-o-o-o-o, if someone comes thru with a million for you, think of my modest, even cheap request.
    OK? Thanks!
    Oh, and if someone gives me a million, I’ll pay your way to Rio. How’s that for a deal?

  10. javajabber says:

    Personally, I think going commando would have been better than swim trunks. But, not being a guy with dangling parts, maybe not.

    My husband said he slept with ANS too … so maybe you ARE the only one.

  11. adena says:

    I can’t believe you, he has been EVERYWHERE, has not been to Australia!

    And, go to India if you get a chance….it’s insane, but beautiful!

  12. Swimming trunks under pants? I’ll never, ever get you people. I like you, I just will never understand you.

  13. Dave2 says:

    Suzanne… Me? WAIT? I don’t think you fully grasp my inflated sense of self-importance! Clearly I must have my millions first! 🙂

    Bogup… Well, I think the biggest screen you can currently get on a MacBook Pro is 17-inches… so I’m afraid you are setting yourself up for disappointment here. Tell you what, if I get my millions, I’ll want a new gold-plated MacBook Pro, so you can have my old one!

    JavaJabber… SEE?!? Everybody got to sleep with Anna Nicole Smith except me! Maybe it’s because I’m not one for going commando while at work?

    Adena… Australia may happen sooner rather than later. 🙂

    Adena… Oh, and I would love, love, love to go to India. It’s in my top ten to be sure!

    Long Story Longer… Who people? ME people? =sob!= I only wore the swim trunks because I thought it was better than wearing dirty underwear! I’ve been busy since I got back from Europe, and haven’t had time to wash clothes yet. 🙁

  14. Kyra says:

    I want to travel the world too! I have to admit a small amount of jealousy over those photos you posted (of the travels, not the chocolate. OK darnit! The chocolate too!)

    By the way, I was shopping today and there is a virtual LANDSLIDE of coke with lime here. It’s UNBELIEVABLE. I don’t like the stuff, but I’m pretty sure that they collected it and piled it all up here. So…. what are the chances I get some of that chocolate in trade for the coke with lime? 😉

  15. Jill says:

    I need a million dollars, too… It’s been a goal most of my life to visit everywhere at least once before I die. I’m waaaaay behind schedule 🙁

  16. Bre says:

    If you find someone to fund your travel habit… will you casually find a way to find out if they want to fund my shoe habit?

  17. Avitable says:

    You don’t have anything else of note in Orlando. You should rectify that.

  18. Dave2 says:

    Kyra… Well that’s entirely not fair. I guess if I can’t kick my Coke with Lime habit, I can always move to New England?

    Jill… You and me both. I haven’t even been to North Dakota!

    Bre… Shoes? Really? Maybe it’s because I’ve had the same tennis shoes for two years (and the same dress shoes for five) that I’m finding it difficult to understand how one could spend millions of dollars on shoes!

    Avitable… The flags mark an entire city, so even though Orlando is marked for the Hard Rock, I’ve most certainly seen other wonders that this fine city has to offer… like The Incredible Hulk Coaster at Universal Studios, and beers of the world at Disney’s Epcot World Showcase!

  19. ms. sizzle says:

    I really love saying “Lake Titicaca”- like really, really like saying it.

    Lake Titicaca.

    I really am an 11 year old boy!

  20. Michelle says:

    I don’t know that I’d be willing to cough up a few million to Dave’s Travel Fund, but I might be willing to donate a dollar or two to hiring someone to do your laundry. You will never get “quality” girls if you have no clean underwear Dave. Trust me on this.

    Unless of course you find someplace in Africa where you don’t actually have to wear underwear. Ya might wanna look that one up in the travel guides.

    Oh, and maybe a box of Kleenex once your stock pile of Coke w/Lime runs out.

  21. Bogup says:

    Oh, I know the biggest screen ON a MacBook pro is 17 inches. I only want/need a 15″ MacBook pro AND a 20″ screen so I can use my laptop as a desk top (with a keyboard, too).
    Sorry for that confusion, now about your trip to Rio… the best way to buy a ticket is via It is a Seattle-based company that has reverse-engineered algorithms used by airlines to compute plane ticket prices and links the best travel times with the best pricing. The only way to go!

  22. Avitable says:

    Yes, but my point is that you haven’t had dinner with the Avitables yet!

  23. iFran says:

    Forgets the Titicaca. You must come to Chile!!!
    It is a beautiful country and geographically speaking it is very varied; you can find from the most barren desert of the world (desert of Atacama), visit the Moais of Isla de Pascua, or see the millenarian ice in the Lagoon of San Rafael, and many other places.
    Also we are very friendly people.

    I can help you with your Spanish 😉

  24. kilax says:

    Dave, you deserve to see the rest of the world, because you actually appreciate it. People always get what they deserve. 🙂

    P.S. Can I go with?

  25. Michael says:

    I also have a great hunger for travel, and was able to feed it a bit last month with a trip to Greece. So, while I have a large hole in anything else than the U.S., at least I can now say I’ve gone somewhere else. I’d recommend stopping by Greece at some point. Apart from all the great archaeological sites, Athens has a Hard Rock!

  26. karla says:

    Dave, dave DAVE.

    God YES I know exactly what you mean about the travel holes. Once you start to travel, it becomes addictive or maybe a bit obsessive and you start to want to “collect” countries. Like, I am now kinnd of “eh” on Europe, and am thinking I need to branch out. I mean, I did SE Asia, but there is more to see, as also there is India and China and Japan. In the next two months I’ll go to Paris, London and Istanbul, all of which I love, but have been to all of them already, so the travel holes are not filling up!

    My parents went to Peru a couple of years ago, it was Mom’s lifelong dream to see Macchu Picchu, as it is mine, and I am SO jealous that they went. They ADORED it. and it is stunningly beautiful. And yeah, Dad is all over the Titcaca jokes. I wanted them to get me a t-shirt, but the Peruvians don’t get the humor in a t shirt that says “I did Titicaca” and so there is no t shirt joy for me.

    We should TOTALLY plan an International Blogography Titcaca Blog Meet. Way cool, and I beet you could do a wicked t-shirt as well.

  27. I’ll give you $1.23 to come to Oklahoma. Our cost of living is low so that’s like millions of dollars. Sorta.

  28. james says:

    Wow. Even though you’ve been to a lot of places, it still seems like very few compared to how many places there are. Rejoyce that you’ve even left the country safely in this time of peril.

  29. Mooselet says:

    I don’t have millions of dollars to give you Dave, but if you ever make it to Australia and to Brisbane I will offer my services as tour guide. I will even save you some Coke with Lime.

  30. James says:

    I had to spend Friday night and Saturday morning in the hospital after surgery, and after my iPod died, all that was on tv was Anna Nicole Smith.

    Pain from surgery? nada. Pain from having to listen to everyone talk about Anna Nicole? ohpleasekillmenow

  31. yellojkt says:

    You need a sponsor like that “Where The Fuck Is Matt?” guy. I can’t believe Hard Rock hasn’t contacted you yet. I have never been south of the equator, but I would love to get to Australia.

  32. Bre says:

    Oh man it would be so easy! I can currently list, off the top of my head, at least $1,000 worth of shoes that I’m lusting for… and that’s just off the top of my head!

  33. kapgar says:

    Yes, you are being a greedy bastage!!!

  34. Dave2 says:

    Ms. Sizzle… Eh, I think the charms of Lake Titicaca are ageless. 🙂

    Michelle… Hey, it’s not like I was WEARING the dirty underwear! I just ran out! And, at this point, I’ve given up on attracting “quality girls” and am going to just start heading for skanky hos.

    Bogup… Ah. If I were going for a second display, I’d go for 32-inches!

    Avitable… Truly an Orlando attraction. I will definitely have to look into buying tickets for that the next time I am in Orlando!

    iFran… I would -LOVE- to come to Chile! So many wonders to explore in South America! 🙂

    Kilax… Depends… do you have a couple of million dollars? Because if you’re paying, I’d have a hard time saying “no” wouldn’t I?

    Michael… I am hoping to make it to Greece this year. I’ve wanted to visit the country since I was very small, but the opportunity has never come up. I’ve got my fingers crossed!

    Karla… Machu Picchu is one of those places in my top-ten. I almost went with my brother years ago, but we had to cancel our plans. I’ve regretted it ever since. 🙁 India is also on my list. More of China would be great too. And, though I have been there many times, I’m always happy to return to Japan.

    Frances… Oklahoma is one of those states I have not yet visited. I am hoping… a lot… that I will finally be able to make my mid-West run this year. We’ll see!

    James… Well, one could argue that it is actually safer in other countries right now than it is here in the USA. Of course, in this fear-induced atmosphere our government is happy to maintain, I’m not surprised that people would think otherwise. 🙂

    Mooselet… Well, if I can make it to Kazza’s wedding… Australia might happen this year too! 😀

    James… Yeah, I hear that. It was indeed tragic, but the media’s obsession was just way, WAY overboard.

    Yellojkt… Yeah, that would be pretty sweet… but I’d want LUXURY MONEY that only a couple of million can offer!

    Bre… IN SHOES?!? That must be some expensive footwear!

    Kapgar… I am aware of this. I deny nothing! 🙂

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