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Deadenbacher

Posted on Thursday, January 18th, 2007

Dave!AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!

So there I am innocently flicking through channels when I see Orville Redenbacher on television selling his popcorn. He's one freaky-looking guy, which would ordinarily be scary enough. But this commercial is particularly disturbing for one simple reason... HE'S F#@%ING DEAD!!

The only explanation I can come up with is that the people who make Orville Redenbacher popcorn read my Blogography entry where I don't want to eat a dead man's corn, and decided to revive him all zombie-like in a series of new commercials to get me to buy...

Dead Orville

The problem is that he was always kind of zombie-like while he was alive, so the computer-enhanced version is just downright terrifying. If they made a horror film staring Dead Orville, I would be too afraid to watch. "CORN OF THE DEAD!". they could call it...

Corn of the Dead!

But the commercial did make me hungry.

Here is my dinner menu tonight...

  • A can of Coke with Lime.
  • Two Eggo toaster waffles with extra butter and Mrs. Butterworth's maple syrup.
  • A Snack-Pack chocolate pudding.

Delicious! Pudding kicks ass.

But what I really want now is popcorn.

Unfortunately I'm out of popping corn, and it's too frackin' cold out to go buy more. Bummer.

Field of Dreams Pano

Here's another panorama photo I made using Adobe's super-sweet pano-stitcher tool in the PhotoShop CS3 beta. It's a shot of the "Field of Dreams" from my trip to Iowa. My previous efforts to stitch it together failed miserably, but Adobe's magical new software somehow managed to do a beautiful job...

At this size it's hard to tell but, even at high resolution, I can't find the seams. All pieces were warped and blended flawlessly. Bravo Adobe.

P.S. I HAD TOTALLY GUESSED THE IDENTITY OF THE MASKED WOMAN IN "UGLY BETTY!" I totally should write for television.


Categories: Food 2007, Photography 2007Click To It: Permalink
   

Comments

  1. diane says:

    Ew! Orville does look scary!!
    Speaking of ew, good god man, how could you eat all that and not feel like puking? Would you accept applicants for a personal chef position…? ;)

  2. adena says:

    Look at those cold, dead, lifeless eyes on Old Orville!!

    I’m going to have nightmares now….

  3. Mooselet says:

    He looks like I imagine a pod person would look. Or someone who was left on a dehydrator too long. Or like my grandmother.

    Someone hold me, I’m scared…

  4. margalit says:

    I figured out the masked woman too, the second ***** told how ***** ***** was *****. It was an AHA moment.

  5. Jacob says:

    Holy crap! Next thing you´ll know, they will bring back the guy from Wendy´s!

    On another note, thanks to you, I have now become a hopeless addict for… VERONICA MARS! I had not watched the show before because we dont get the CW here in Mexico, but Ive started downloading the 3rd season trough iTunes and its AMAZING!

  6. Alexis says:

    I’m with Adena – I’m totally having nightmares tonight.

    What gets me is that somewhere, an ad exec okayed that. It doesn’t make me want popcorn, it makes me wonder at the mental stability of the folks at the Reddenbacher Popcorn Corporate Headquarters. But maybe they’re all zombies there, and that’s why dead Orville looks okay to them.

  7. Chopsticks says:

    With your Orville zombie and Avitable’s fat lady who needs to wear more clothes, I am going to have nightmares for sure now. Hmph.

  8. Laurence says:

    For the popcorn, I feel like the little boy in 6th sense… I see dead people… Brrrrrrrr…

    I love your dinner menu… Miam, miam !!!

    You make a really good job with Adobe. And you are so lucky… you really see the field of dreams !!! It is great !!! :-D

  9. I have not seen the commercial yet, but here Orville looks like a cross between the undead, Max Headroom, and any Canadian on South Park.

    Does the top half of his head come off when he talks, like Ike?

  10. DaisyJo says:

    I saw that Orville commercial too. It may have scarred me permanently – talk about freaky!

  11. Karen Rani says:

    You should have just emailed me. I have all kinds of popcorn, I could have emailed you some. (Wouldn’t that be SWEET if we could do that?)

    UB gets more and more bizarre but I love that show and I love Betty. Just please don’t let Daniel fall for her and try to make her over or something…that would be creepy. It looked like he was thinking about it a couple of times last night and then I guess talked himself out of it.

  12. Avitable says:

    Yeah, he’s really creepy in those commercials. Although there are new DirecTV commercials with Christopher Lloyd reprising his role as Doc Brown from BTTF, and even though he’s still alive, they’re even creepier.

  13. Karl says:

    Makes sense that zombie Dave would eat dead popcorn, I guess. Orville, even when he was alive, struck me as one of those relatives that the kids all steer clear of because of their dead eyes and old-man smell. He’s like Pennywise the evil clown in Stephen King’s “It.”

    “They all float down here!”

  14. serap says:

    That’s what a child would choose to have for dinner! Where are the vegetables?! Please tell me you finished your ‘dinner’ off with a fruit salad or something… you’ll get scurvy you know! ;-)

  15. ~jtm says:

    I know! It’s a toss-up know as to which commercial creeps me out more, that Orville one or any of the Burger King ones with that creepy Burger King!

  16. Joefish says:

    I’m all about the zombies.

  17. Jeff says:

    Your menu is exactly what my kids would eat if we didn’t intervene and feed them something that contained actual nutrients. Our hope was that when they grew up to be adults, the years of providing them healthy eating habits would stick and they would continue to eat nutriously on their own.

    I’m living in a fantasy, aren’t I?

  18. Dave2 says:

    Diane… Personal chef? I guess… do they know how to make pudding?

    Adena… No doubt! Apparently Orville’s grandson Gary just loves the commercial. Gag!

    Mooselet… Could have been worse, I suppose. I’ll take a dead Orville over David Caruso anytime!

    Margalit… I actually guessed the identity of the masked woman during the winter hiatus when I heard that she would be played by Rebecca Romain. Something just clicked, and the cheesiness of it all made perfect sense! Sorry I edited your comment, but some foreign readers haven’t seen the show yet. :-(

    Jacob… Oooh. You must see seasons 1 and 2! Amazing television!

    Alexis… Even worse… Orville’s FAMILY approved it! Yikes.

    Chopsticks… Sorry. I guess I just figure that if I am going to have nightmares, everybody else should too. :-)

    Laurence… Field of Dreams is my most favorite movie ever, so visiting the field really WAS a dream!

    Frances… Now THAT would have been funny! Unfortunately, the computer enhanced dead Orville is anything but… he’s horrifyingly realistic.

    Daisy Jo… We should all sue! Not only am I permanently scarred, but I’m now afraid of popping noises! It’s the sound you hear just before Orville pops up behind you and chokes you to death with a fist-full of popcorn.

    Karen… Ugly Betty surprises me every episode, which is amazing. I can’t believe how they manage to keep it fresh, because the concept is so one-note.

    Avitable… REALLY? I thought the Doc Brown BTTF commercial was very cool! Probably because I love the films so much, and am just happy to see the character again… even if he is whoring himself out for a commercial. Funny thing is, they probably didn’t need to put “old” makeup on Lloyd this time!

    Karl… I have never watched “It” and even refuse to read it, I hate clowns that bad!

    Serap… I was working late, and that’s all that was handy. I would have eaten something from the popcorn group, but I didn’t have any! :-)

    JTM… Wow… I had forgotten about Plastic Burger King. He is pretty terrifying.

    Joefish… Me too… except when they are selling me popcorn!

    Jeff… Yes. :-) But feel free to hold on to the fantasy that YOUR kids will be the exception!

  19. Avitable says:

    Well, I love the BTTF movies – it’s my favorite trilogy, even above Star Wars and Godfather. I just thought it was sad because Lloyd looked so crazy and it just seems desperate!

  20. ms. sizzle says:

    Corn of the Dead! HA!

    You need some food in your food, Dave. :)

  21. kapgar says:

    Did they put earbuds in his ears or are those his connections to life support?

    Okay, so how long ago did you guess the ID of the person in bandages on UB? Just last night? Or a while ago?

  22. Hilly says:

    Greaaaat – I was munching away on him last night; no wonder it tasted um….gritty ;).

  23. Lux Lisbon says:

    You are #1 on google now.

  24. Dave2 says:

    Avitable… Well, his last show “Stacked” with Pamela Anderson was cancelled, so I guess that’s probably true! Doc Brown gotta eat!

    Ms. Sizzle… Indeed. Tonight I’m thinking of having a frozen pizza. That’s got tomato sauce in it, so there’s a serving of vegetables right there!

    Kapgar… Those are for Orville’s iPod. He’s all hip and cool now… on top of being dead.

    Hilly… Each bag of Orbille Redenbacher corn has a dusting of authentic Orville Redenbacher ashes so there’s a bit of Orville in every bag! He’s delicious!

    Lux… Really? I had disappeared from Google a while ago and thought they just hated me or something. :-)

  25. Firda says:

    I used to watch Ugly Betty years ago, i.e. the original Mexican version, dubbed into Indonesian. It was… weird.

  26. Bre says:

    ugh – nothing about that man would inspire me to buy popcorn!

  27. ms. sizzle says:

    tomato sauce does not count as a serving of vegetables dear dave.

  28. adena says:

    I finally saw that Deadenbacher commecial. It’s more scary than your picture up there.

    What was with his bee-boppin’ movement at the end??

    I screamed and ran from the room.

    (Well, not really, but I wanted to! I think I was too horrified to move…)

  29. Eve says:

    Eww, I don’t want any Corn of the Dead either. Who’s brilliant marketing idea is that? But I’d buy Zombie Dave’s popcorn though, because he’s charming at least.

    By the way, when I read about what you’re eating, it makes me wish we lived closer so I can cook you something wholesome!!!!!!

    Oh, and you didn’t read about who was playing the masked woman on Ugly Betty? I’m still two episodes behind, so I don’t think I’ve seen the new woman in action yet.

  30. Kapha says:

    Man, I’m soooooo glad I gave up TV.

  31. stephanie says:

    You watch Ugly Betty? I never would’ve pegged you for an Ugly Betty watcher… not that it isn’t one of the best shows on television right now (cough*veronica mars*cough)

    It’s a whole new side of you, Dave ;)

  32. nancycle says:

    Three thoughts:

    1. Build it and they will come…What an awesome movie Dave.

    2. Deadman popping. Agreed ~ too weird.

    3. How can you call yourself a vegetarian!?! We need to find a new name for you until you increase your daily quota of greenery. Popatarian? ;)

  33. Tal says:

    Hey didn’t they do commercials like that for KFC? with the Colonel and stuff? Let dead spokespeople rest, next thing you know, they are gonna have Dave Thomas pitching Wendy’s…

    I’m mad at redenbacher anyways. They have these new smaller bags of microwave popcorn… And they say to nuke them for 2.5 minutes. But they either burn or half the kernels aren’t popped. Its very annoying.

    jtm – yeah, that burger king dude is totally creepy.

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