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Posted on Monday, December 18th, 2006

Dave!So there I am minding my own business while walking back from the mini-mart... when an underage whore asks me for directions.

When I say "underage" I will fully admit to guessing here, because it wasn't like I got to see her ID or was presented with a birth certificate. And, truth be told, I'm also guessing as to her being a whore, because it's not like she offered me sexual favors in exchange for money or anything like that (she just wanted to know where Pioneer Avenue was).

No, the reason I call her a whore is sheer speculation based on her method of dress and demeanor, all of which was saying "make me an offer." I mean, come on... stiletto-heeled boots and a low-cut blouse with a push-up bra? IN THE MIDDLE OF WINTER? Ergo... a whore.

Of course it's so hard to tell, really. Especially when I look at the dolls that girls have now-a-days...


They're called "Bratz" but they might as well be called "Whorez" from what I can see. Sure Barbie may have always been a little bit of a slut, but the worst you can say about her is that she's a classy tease with way too much money on her hands. The Bratz dolls look like strung-out street-walkers by comparison...

Barbie Clones

Hmmm... Now that I think about it, there was a lot of room for scary misinterpretation here on behalf of the police (had any actually been present). I could have inadvertently been arrested for soliciting sex from an underage whore just for talking to the girl!

Sadly, today's kids don't really have much of a chance. Especially little girls when they have role models like Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan (not to mention dolls like Bratz) to learn from.

Categories: DaveLife 2006Click To It: Permalink


  1. diane says:

    Amen brother. I see girls around here walking WITH THEIR MOTHERS, overdone in makeup, with sparkly shirts that say things like “porn star” and knee-high boots. (hey, I’m a grown woman, it’s okay for me to wear knee-high boots)
    I very regularly pray Britney and Lindsey will be all washed up by the time I have kids. It’s no better for little boys to see these ladies as the “ideal”.
    But when I feel really down, I remind myself that my friend’s little girl prefers Hello Kitty to Bratz, and wants to be a painter/dancer/writer and soccer player when she grows up and I hold on to a shred of hope for humanity.

  2. rocco says:

    I totally agree. And the newer Barbies (Barbis, Barbiess) are trying to catch up with the Bratz. I think Bratz might even have a cartoon show (can’t be sure, don’t have a TV).

  3. Jeff says:

    I was just watching the (newest) Parent Trap the other night with my daughter and the cute little girl playing the twins was so sweet and adorable.

    Of course that was years before she started flashing her hoo-haa around like a neon sign every time she opened her legs.

  4. Mooselet says:

    Very scary indeed, says the mother of two girls. Fortunately my teenager has more respect for herself than that, and I will point blank refuse to buy the three year old any of those slut dolls. I will buy her power tools and ratchet sets instead.

  5. ms. sizzle says:

    i couldn’t agree with you more. now girls are seeing that you’re supposed to be anorexic AND have no manners.

    seriously, why don’t kids these days have manners?

    did i actually just say that?! i thought i’d at least have been 40 before i heard that coming out of my mouth.

  6. adena says:

    They have “baby bratz” too….

    Little BABY whores.

    It’s scary.

  7. NetChick says:

    This all makes me so sad. It was hard enough when I was a kid, but these days, it’s impossible to keep up with the ‘norm’ according to what the toy companies believe is that.

  8. RW says:

    Vapid crack whore is the new Miss Manners.

    Jesus, I thought everybody knew that!

  9. serap says:

    Bratz are so weird looking – where are their noses? My boyfriend’s 9 year old daughter loves them, and we always call them her prostitute dolls (when she’s not around of course!). I always preferred Sindy to Barbie as a child, she looked less intimidating.

  10. I am so pissed at the sexualization of children. I took Kylee into the store Limited Too to buy some clothes and it was so weird. All their skirts had shorts built into them, but in the back of the store they were selling thong underwear studded with rhinestones. This is a store meant for 10-12 year olds. WTF?

    Also, I had an ‘Arrested Development’ flashback reading this entry:

    “It’s not a trick, Michael, it’s an illusion. A trick is something whores do for money. Or candy.” I miss Gob.

  11. undisciplined says:

    Hey – our precious little girlies need to learn how to put on makeup, dress sexy, and make the most of gaudy accessories! Guys aren’t staring at their brains, silly! Forget about finding Iraq on a map or knowing how many planets are in the solar system.

    Bleah. I think girls are pretty much cheated when it comes to cool toys. I can hardly look down the fuchsia toy isle without cringing. It’s not nearly as bad as it was when I was growing up, but I think many toys specifically aimed at girls really lack creativity and reinforce female stereotypes.

    Or perhaps I was/am a big huge nerd that liked playing with my brother’s Star Wars figurines and Nintendo over pretending I was a fairy princess.

  12. Karl says:

    Those Bratz dolls are freaky looking. Look at their enormous heads! How can they walk with noggins that big? You’d think gravity would ensue and they’d all be crawling with their gigantic heads dragging on the ground.

  13. kilax says:

    I always feel upset when I see girls much younger than me dressing this way. Why do you need to wear high heels to high school? And crazy super model makeup? Something has taken over this generation of girls that I just don’t understand.

  14. Avitable says:

    You sound like RW!

  15. delmer says:

    I was at the movie theater a couple of years ago and girl *I think* was about 14 had a shirt on that said, “I’d rather be home masturbating.”

    None of the words were emphasised, so I had no reason to suspect she’d been masturbating in the theater — like maybe theater masturbation was her second choice and she’d rather be home doing it.

    I just thought it was a poor shirt for a young girl (any person, actually, well, aside from Pee Wee Herman) to wear in public.

  16. Chase says:


    I don’t have kids, but if I ever did, I’d be totally terrified to have a girl. They have so many strange and unneccesary pressures now with those hookers in Hollywood.

    And, on another note, I’m with Francesdanger…I miss GOB! *sniffle*

  17. i like Bratz dolls.

    Yes, they look like little sluts, but I like them.

    See, there’s a reason why I’m not a parent. 😀

  18. Hilly says:

    I knew it was all over when I too started saying, “kids today”. Whorez – classic!

    I cannot believe parents complain about anatomically correct Barbie yet buy the Whorez for their kids at will.

  19. walt says:


    I’ve got two stepdaughters ages ten and six – both love the bratz dolls! My wife doesn’t allow them but their father approves and has purchased them for the girls. He’s obviously an idiot! Of course that’s obvious as he abandoned his family two days after the youngest was born. Anyway, I’m sick of this “whore’s in training” fashion for little girls. It all goes back to parenting and the selfish ass approach to life people are taking these days. From the jerk-off going slow in the fast lane to the fools happily letting their slut-to-be daughters shop at thong selling LIMITED TOO, people need their asses kicked. First of all there should be nothing resembling sexy attire available for anyone under age 18. Hell you can’t buy spray paint without a freak’n ID these days let’s take it a step further and put the fashion police ID into play. Obviously, parents are too stupid to f@#king care so yet again we need governmental intervention for idiots to raise remotely responsible spawn. I think more people need to speak up about this kind of stuff. Humiliation goes a long way to keeping social norms and I think a good dose of that could help turn this foolish dress behavior around. May be we should do what they do in Pakistan and stone whores to keep this sexual nonsense from creeping into childhood.

  20. Kyra says:

    Fortunately, my daughter doesn’t care for barbie-type dolls at all. Life’s little favors, plus I would refuse to buy any skanky doll anyway. It really is awful – in the barbie aisle, they have a PREGNANT barbie, and the baby can be “removed”…. my daughter turned to me and said “Where does the baby come out?” – people turned around in the store, and I thought I was going to die. I picked up the box and loudly pointed at the inner shirt pocket for the baby…


  21. Bratz! God I hate those things.

  22. Laurence says:

    When I read your entry, I just said myself : yes, yes, agree, yes, YES!!!

  23. kim says:

    I was buying dolls today for my 3 year old son’s female friends. (I would have gotten them monster trucks as well, but for some reason they actually prefer the dolls – I always wanted hotwheels) We had to leave Toys R Us because all they had were bratz and went to an independent toy store to buy groovy girls – kind of funky dolls with mismatched clothing and fun hair. They also had real girls (or something like that) which were racially diverse girls (one had an african american dad and a caucasian mom – the tag actually tells you their ethnic heritage).

    The moms seem to be dressing up their girls (dolls?) in little mini me fashions. WTF. I am really glad to have a boy, though he kind of frightens me too…. he isn’t allowed any play guns, so he builds them (with lego) or just pretends anything is a gun. AHHHHH. He is not even 4 and he is already tired of the guns kill people lecture. Truly frightening.

  24. nancycle says:

    Sadly, you’re absolutely right. Just the other day Omar and I were shopping for a birthday gift for a girl. While Omar didn’t want much to do with anything pink or Barbieish, I absolutely refused to even consider buying one of those trashy dolls, I would have considered it an insult as a parent to even recieve one if I had a daughter.

    Omar wanted me to read your blog tonight, I told him you didn’t approve of the Bratz dolls. Then I told him I used to have dolls like the ones at the bottom. To which he replied, “really?! You know, if you take off Barbie’s clothes, you can see her boobies”.


  25. Naomi says:

    To prevent a dissertation on my opinion of Bratz, I have only this to say:

    They have “Baby Bratz”–they should have the all-grown-up line: “Bitchez”. Afterall, they’re already glorifying the term “brat” which last I checked wasn’t something children used to aspire to being.

    Side note: aren’t those the dolls that to change their shoes, their feet come off outright? Just weird.

  26. Tal says:

    I’m sure there is NO correlation but, is it just me or has the number of pedophiles seemed to increase lately as well?

    Ahhh, back in the good old days, when I dressed like a hoochie, at least I only did it at night going out to the clubs, not grocery shopping!

  27. I thought this was interesting. The black student association has a “black baby doll drive” to collect baby dolls, and “Barbie-like” dolls for impoverished black children in the community. At the bottom of the flyer it reminded people very clearly, “No cacuasian dolls. No Bratz.”

  28. James says:

    Wow! I hear you all… Those Whorez dolls drive me insane. My twin six year olds have them,(from their well-meaning aunt) but thankfully, they prefer their Legos or musical instruments to the dolls…

    Oh, thanks francesdanger for the A.D. reference… That was one of my faves! I miss Gob too!

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