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Pasty

Posted on Tuesday, December 19th, 2006

Dave!I love panoramic photography, but the cameras required to take good panorama shots are really expensive... $3500 minimum. About the only affordable option open to me is to take a bunch of pictures and then stitch them together using Photoshop or some other utility. The problem is that the results are never that great. Things never quite match up and you end up with Frankenstein-type collages that won't fool anybody...

Bad Panorama

Even worse, every time you want to make a pano in Photoshop, you have to fire up the "Bridge" application which sucks ass. And even with "advance blending" and all the other stuff turned on, you still end up with a composite that has mismatched buildings and poor blending (which is kind of hard to see when I shrink it down)...

Bad Panorama

Until now.

The new Photoshop CS3 Beta has an incredible new panorama stitcher that does an amazing job without the need to fire up Bridge. Not only does it warp and stretch to get really accurate edge matches, but it also shifts the color to make everything blend beautifully (even when viewed at full-resolution). It has me going through all my old photos to see how they stitch up...

Chicago Panorama
Chicago Skyline, Illinois

Reykjavik
Harbor in Reykjavik, Iceland

Bryce Canyon
Bryce Canyon, Utah

Bryce Canyon
Bryce Canyon, Utah

Bryce Canyon
Bryce Canyon, Utah

Goblin Valley
Goblin Valley, Utah

Goblin Valley
Goblin Valley, Utah

In fact, the stitching abilities built into Photoshop CS3 are so mind-boggling cool and easy that I find myself looking at the world as a series of panoramas. I can't wait to take more of them.

New Photoshop is fun.

In totally unrelated "new" news... I received an email alerting me to new DVD releases that had The NEW Adventures of He-Man on the list. This puzzled me greatly, because I never knew that there were any NEW adventures of He-Man. After some serious Google investigation, I discovered that there was indeed a second series way back in 1990.

But look what they did to the poor bastard...

He-Mans

What the f#@% happened to his tan?

You can't be having no pasty-ass He-Man!

Despite the totally butch name and kick-ass physique, He-Man has never been a particularly macho dude. Maybe it was the little pageboy haircut or something. But he was tan. Now they've taken that away from him. And it's not like a ponytail and hot-pants did anything to up the testosterone quotient. He-Man looks like he's starring in a gay pirate movie.

This is just sad.

Not that there's anything wrong with gay pirate movies. It's just that He-Man shouldn't be starring in them.

Unless He-Man actually is gay, in which case I feel I owe him an apology or something. Maybe new He-Man is just being who he really is? He's out, he's proud, AND he's got the Sword of Power?

Just don't tell me that he's f#@%ing Skeletor, because that I could not take.


Categories: Photography 2006Click To It: Permalink
   

Comments

  1. Tal says:

    You do know you probably just incited a WHOLE bunch of He-Man/Skeletor (or He-Man/Man-at-Arms?) Slash Fan Fic stories…

    Ahhhh, it must be those hber PC networks that think if kids see He-Man with a tan, maybe they won’t wear sunscreen! (and Coppertone won’t pay the big ad $).

    Maybe you ought to forget about the ‘titilator’ and think about naming something the “sword of power”?

  2. Mooselet says:

    Back in the 80’s I used to babysit a boy with fairly severe cerebral palsy who just loved He-Man. We had to drop everything we were doing so he could watch his show, complete with his own Sword of Power. I have fond memories of that He-Man, which have been ruined by this new gay He-Man. Damn you you corporate bastards!!! Damn you to the fifth circle of Hell.

  3. karla says:

    I’m willing to give ANY guy a chance who can boast of a Sword of Power….

  4. serap says:

    Wow those photos are amazing.

    Is it me or does ‘staring’ mean to stare at someone? Isn’t to star in something ‘starring’? Actually that doesn’t look right either. Oh well, there’s my English A level down the pan!

  5. Kapha says:

    Ok, now I’m finally excited about the possibility of upgrading from PS7 – ’bout frickin’ time!

    And somehow this post and comments gave me a flashback to someone sticking their “Stretch Armstrong” (no that’s not another titillator name!) action figure into an oven to soften it up…

    :: THIS COMMENT HAS OFFICIALLY DETERIORATED INTO TITILLATOR HELL — ANY FURTHER ATTEMPTS AT DISCOURSE ARE FUTILE ::

  6. Avitable says:

    Well, the original script did say “By the anal power of Grayskull . . .”

  7. nancycle says:

    What’s up with He-Man?! Geeeezz…. For the record, that IS a page boy, but, those aren’t hot pants, I think they’re *gak* tights. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. I encourage you to do your very own google image search “hot pants”.

    Forget He Who’s Starring as He-Man for a moment and HELLO UTAH!!!

    New Photoshop goodness! :-)

    Ha ~ remember the cartoon Hercules?

  8. diane says:

    I dunno, I never doubted that the original He-Man was gay. And as for the tan, at least he doesn’t look like he has jaundice anymore!!
    I rather fancy new He-Man. He looks like he just leapt off the cover of a romance novel. And I’m glad he’s wearing proper pants vs. a furry loincloth.
    Now I’m really curious–how’s She-Ra looking these days?

  9. Dave2 says:

    Tal… Man At Arms would be a handy guy to have around in a fight… but I don’t want to think any further than that!

    Mooselet… I know. Why do they always have to go “new and improving” things that don’t need to be “new and improved?”

    Karla… BY THE POWER OF GRAYSKULL… I… HAVE… THE… POWER!!

    Serap… Probably. I changed it anyway.

    Kapha… There was an anatomically correct version of “Stretch Armstrong” that somebody emailed me a picture of years ago… looks very, very painful.

    Avitable… GAYskull perhaps?

    Nancycle… I remember the cartoon “Herculoids” which I thought was awesome!!

    Diane… She-Ra is still kicking ass, I’m sure. It’s what she does.

  10. That Reykjavik shot is incredible.

    New He-Man looks like a pro wrestler. That’s not a compliment. Yuck.

  11. Avitable says:

    Yeah. That’s a lot better than mine. I was too tired to think clearly.

  12. Walt says:

    Dave: You know I love that fact that your blog has something to offer a reader everyday. I’ve been looking for a reason to upgrade my old photoshop 5. something. I don’t use it much anymore as I’ve changed careers and hobbies. But that fact that bridging those pics has become so simple it’s well worth the cash!

    He-man the Gay Pirate my be an even better come back for 2007!

  13. Laurence says:

    Your pictures, Dave, are so beautiful !!!

    And He-man… French He-man’s name is “Musclor” (ok, we are not good for the translation of name, or title of movies)… But we call the new he-man : he-man… Maybe, we think like you !!! The new is not the real… So we call him differently !
    Here, he always says : “Par le pouvoir du crâne ancestral, je détiens la force tout puissante” !!!
    PS. Skeletor’s name is still Skeletor !!!

  14. Dustin says:

    CS3 beta, eh? Definitely going to have to check that one out. And by check it out I mean steal it from Office Max once it hits the stores.

    As far as He-Man goes, by “NEW” they must have meant “pansy.” The He-Man I know would have cut off his own head before sporting a pony tail. I don’t even want to know what they did to Cringer.

  15. sandra says:

    Ever noticed how fabulous the Chicago skyline is when coming in on 55? If you get the chance to drive in from Midway and pull over, it’s pretty great.

  16. nancycle says:

    My show looked very similar, but Herculoids was a little before my time *kerm-kerm* ;-).

    Mine had Daedalus, Hercules, Newton the centaur, Wilhemina and Mount Olympus. The funniest thing was that all the creatures made the same sound “kkkkkkkkkkweeeeeeeeeeee, kkkkkkkkkkkweeeeee”!!!!

    Gay? Maybe…http://www.tvparty.com/herc.html

    Good memories.

    :-)

  17. NetChick says:

    I, for one, always thought HeMan was gay. Who else would call themselves HeMAN?

  18. ms. sizzle says:

    pictures are fabulously beautiful.

    let’s just start calling HeMan Fabio, shall we?

  19. Belinda says:

    I would have expected Cringer to be outed WAY before Adam.

  20. Göran says:

    That is way cool! And the beta is not doing anything funky with your computer? I´m alittle afraid of downloading it because I can´t afford to loose time right now if the computer gets all funky.

  21. Dave2 says:

    Frances… Reykjavik itself is pretty incredible too. :-)

    Avitable… Either that, or my gayness quotient is just higher than yours?

    Walt… Well, it is definitely easy enough that you’ll be taking more pano shots, that’s for sure!

    Laurence… That’s because Skeletor is totally cool in any language. I think that it might make a fine name for a dog…

    Dustin… Good luck with the whole stealing thing. If you disappear for a while, I’ll know it was because of the crack security team at Office Max.

    Sandra… Actually, Chicago’s skyline is quite nice in that it is unobstructed from most any approach. But yes, I’ve noticed it is particularly nice from Midway, as the buildings cascade nicely in the view.

    Nancyle… Herculoids was cool because there were dinosaurs with special powers and stuff. The father in the family kind of looks like He-Man, now that I think of it.

    NetChick… Uhhh… it’s a lot more butch than SHE-Man!

    Ms. Sizzle… Fabio is a little too pretty to be He-Man, but I thought Dolph Lundgren did an okay job in the movie once he dyed his hair blonde. :-P

    Belinda… Oh now… Cringer is all about the pussy, I assure you. Uhhh… wait a minute…

    Göran… Actually, PS-CS3 Beta is running amazingly well. About the only problem I run into is that the cursor does not show the brush size (and I have no idea why). It’s crashed exactly once in three days of constant use. If you have an Intel Mac, the speed increase alone is worth the risk. :-)

  22. kilax says:

    God dammit! I just got CS2, now I need CS3?!!!

  23. Arwen says:

    I love that He-man’s quads look like nut sacks.

  24. Nice panoramics. I hate the bridge in photoshop. I don’t even bother.

  25. Karl says:

    Wow, awesome photos, dude. And I always questioned He-Man’s sexuality, for the record. He dresses like the missing member of The Village People.

  26. Mad William says:

    Those are some great photos.
    I take panoramic shots every where we go. I have started doing 360 degree images. I love to splice them together by hand.

    How do you print them out?
    Some of mine are more than 3 feet long.

  27. ChillyWilly says:

    Having been to Goblin Valley, the stiched pictures take me back over a year ago and take in it’s wonderful scene.

  28. Dan Lister says:

    One thing I never understood about Original He-Man…his face looked the same whether he was He-Man or Prince Adam; I mean, come ON!! At least Superman TRIES to disguise himself with a pair of fricking glasses! Adam wears his flouncy shirt and tights, says the magic words and holds the sword aloft, where it becomes a lightning rod that fries his flouncy shirt and tights and morphs them into hairy undershorts and a big, steel training bra! And it ALSO changes his voice from wimpy pre-adolescent to booming echo-chamber.

    He-Man is worse than most noisy kids…who are constantly told in church to “use their inside voice”; in a covert surveillance operation, everyone else would whisper, but Brawny Blonde Guy With Bra HAS no inside voice because of that frelling echo-chamber in his chest!

    Oh, and after the 1990 He-Man cartoon?

    There was the 2002 version, linked here.

    Adam’s a boy…gets zapped, and becomes He-Man…adult He-Man; this explains why nobody makes the connection.

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