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Posted on Thursday, December 28th, 2006

Dave!Warner Home Video can kiss my ass.

Today I received my long-awaited copy of the massive 14-DVD Superman Ultimate Collector's Edition which contains the coveted "Richard Donner Director's Cut" of Superman II that I have been waiting 25 years to see. But when I open it up, I find out that my box has TWO copies of Disc 3 and NO copy of Disc 5. I'm pretty upset about it, but mistakes happen, and so I figure I'll just give Warner Home Video a call and swap the duplicate DVD for the one I'm missing. Simple, right?


Except I can't find a customer service number anywhere in the box.

The closest thing I can find is an address for Ordinarily, this wouldn't be a problem... EXCEPT WARNER HOME VIDEO'S WEB SITE USES F#@%ING UNDERTONE NETWORKS "POP-UNDER" ADVERTISING ON EVERY F#@%ING PAGE!! Even with pop-up blocking turned on, I am still having to constantly close all their f#@%ing pop-under windows with advertisements for NetFlix. The thing is, I already subscribe to NetFlix, but now I am seriously considering switching to Blockbuster, because I don't want to give money to ANY company who supports the donkey-raping shit-eaters at "Undertone Networks" who hijacks my browser for advertising.

Eventually I find a customer service phone number to call. But when I call it I am told I have the wrong department and am given a different number. Then I am told I again have the wrong department and am given another number. Then I am told I STILL have the wrong number and am given another number.

So there I sit on hold for A HALF HOUR before I am told that the line I've reached is to replace Disc 1 and Disc 8, which have the wrong content on them. That's fine by me, but what about my missing Disc 5 and duplicate Disc 3?

"Oh, you have to return that to where you bought it."

This is such a crock of shit. Nearly an HOUR of time wasted, and they won't even help me.

So I call up Deep Discount DVD and am emailed a return-label TO RETURN ALL 14 DVDS in under five minutes.

Of course, in the meanwhile, I don't get to watch the remaining 11 DVDs which are perfectly okay (except for the disasters that are Superman III, and the horrendous Superman IV: Quest For Peace)... oh no. I have to wait for the box to get back to DDDVD, then wait even longer for the replacement box to get back to me.

When all Warner Home Video had to do was mail me my Disc 5 and process my replacements for Disc 1 and Disc 8.

But instead I have to frantically search for a customer service number that doesn't exist, visit their Undertone-infested web site to get a number, get passed around THREE TIMES before getting the right number, ultimately get no help at all, and then find out I have to wait another week or two before I even get to watch the movies... all because of THEIR mistake! THIS is customer service??

Seriously... Warner Home Video can kiss my ass. It's crap like this that makes me want to illegally download movies off the internet. Why pay money to get treated like shit when I can download movies with no hassle for free? Movie studios and record labels should be bending over backwards to treat their legal, paying customers with respect and impeccable service. Instead, we get treated like shit, branded as criminals, and are forced to suffer for their errors. And yet, somehow, I am supposed to care when these idiots say that profits are down because of piracy? YOU ARE PART OF THE PROBLEM, DUMBASSES!! After all this, why would I ever want to buy anything from Warner Home Video again?

I don't steal music or movies. I never have. Maybe I should start?

Categories: Movies 2006Click To It: Permalink


  1. jm says:

    Chill out. LOL, stuff happens. Maybe you shoulda just bought it at the store instead of a place with “Deep Discount” in their name. And who’s to say Warner was at fault? Maybe it could have been Deep Discount doing what Circuit City did years ago when they were copying their own DVD’s and selling them in their stores.

  2. Just caught up on your last 100 posts (or so) that I’d missed while hibernating… Missed you, Dave! Wishing you joy and fulfillment in 2007.

  3. Naomi says:

    You should have went into a tirade about being a taxpayer for fifteen minutes. THAT would have showed ’em who’s boss!

  4. Laurence says:

    I am so sorry !!! C’est nul !!! 🙁
    I don’t steal music or movies too… And I don’t want to begin…

  5. Avitable says: had the number to call for the fucked up content problem and that was pretty error free. I’ve also heard about the issue you have, too, which is fucking frustrating.

    And Superman III is redeemable for the junkyard Superman vs. CK fight.

  6. franky says:

    Last 2 years I have been downloading music albums and movies before deciding to buy them.
    First if I really like a movie I will probably be ripped of by the studio anyway because I will buy every new DVD box in the next 7 years anyway. But I don’t want to pay $15 for a crap movie.

    Music… same here. First I’ll decide if I really want to buy that album. But even then it still irks me that artists like Robbie Williams only get paid for the first mio. copies they sell and afterwards everything goes to the label.
    I don’t mind the artist being rich or even ultra-rich. But the artist still should earn more than the label and the label’s attorneys.
    Luckily with the general quality of music going down, I yearly spend less and less.

  7. Rikki says:

    I had something similar happen to me when I purchased Firefly. They put 2 disc 2’s and no disc 3 in the packaging. I called the number on the packaging and was told to go back to where I bought it. Which unfortunately happened to be Circuit Shitty…where I was unceremoniously told that there was nothing they could do because I didn’t have the credit card with which it was purchased (because my bank decided that Visa was crap and that everyone should convert to Mastercardism) oh and also because they didn’t have my address in their computer.
    I feel your pain.
    I am also an honest person who is starting to turn to the darkside as far as downloading – though I may do it under an assumed identity now so as to throw off the government…

  8. Dave2 says:

    JM… Yes, I know mistakes happen. I said that I realize this. But this does not excuse the hour of wasted time I had to spend for something that was clearly Warner Home Video’s fault in the first place. I find it laughable that Deep Discount DVD would choose to pirate videos… especially a set that has a lenticular poster and a metal tin. Even putting all that aside… there is NO excuse for not including a customer service number in the box and infesting your website with pop-up advertising. Warner Home Video can kiss my ass for that much alone.

    Atomic Bombshell… Are you blogging again? Wow… you disappeared there for a while! Time to take a look…

    Naomi… Darn it anyway! I totally forgot about yesterday’s entry!! That would have showed ’em good!

    Laurence… I don’t like the idea of stealing, but it’s starting to look like a more hassle-free alternative to buying stuff legally… at least until you get fined or thrown in jail!

    Avitable… I purchase DVDs equally from Amazon and Deep Discount and enjoy their service equally. Amazon is a little more expensive, but I like their shopping experience better… so if the info I am looking for is at Amazon, I put my business there. If I know what I want and just need a quick order, I go with Deep Discount. I haven’t seen Superman III since it was in theaters, so I’ll have to take your word for it until my replacement DVDs arrive!

    Franky… Sometimes friends will send me music to listen to. If I like it, I always buy it. There are only two songs (out of thousands I own) that I have been unable to find for purchase… if I ever do I will, of course, buy them. As for films, I prefer to rent movies I’m not sure about buying. That way, I never have anything illegal on my computer.

    Rikki… It seems incomprehensible that companies aren’t doing absolutely everything they can to make sure that honest customers are never given a reason to stop being honest customers. I am getting very, very tired of it… especially with the music labels, which treat everybody like criminals. It’s tragic, really.

  9. MRKisThatKid says:

    I have the duplicate disk problem with my box of Native Instruments Komplete 4. A software package that costs many many hundreds of pounds and I have still to have it replaced and every time I contact them I’m promised some action but I’m soon after left out in the cold and every-time I think about I want to cry. Ugh, buying stuff you could download illegally sucks.

    Tell them! You have monkey power!

  10. Jeff says:

    Man, who did you piss off in a previous life?

    This weird kind of shit sure does seem to happen to you a lot.

  11. Maybe that’s why it was for sale at Deep Discounts? LOL Sorry dude. Hope you get your DVDs soon. 😉

    PS. I hate your comment area. I want to hit tab and go straight to the post button but instead it goes to the title bar. Hell yes I’m lazy.

  12. Dave2 says:

    Deep Discount DVD is just another retailer… like Amazon or Circuit City or Bet Buy or whatever. They purchase products for sale from Warner Home Video, and have nothing to do with Warner’s (lack of) quality control… or their not putting a phone number in the box… or their use of pop-up advertising from Undertone Networks on their website… or their shitty phone policy of pass-the-buck.

    The comments are they way they are because I’ve disabled captchas. I hate captchas more than I hate not being able to tab to the post button, so I guess we’re stuck?? 🙁

  13. Chelle says:

    At least you GOT the DVDS from DeepDiscountDVD… when I ordered from them… the order still hadn’t arrived after a month of waiting. I e-mailed them up and they said it should take 6 weeks. I waited 6 weeks and called them again, which is when they told me 8 weeks. After 10 weeks I gave up and had the charges on my VISA reversed… assholes.

  14. Dave2 says:

    Ya know… I’ve heard this from a few people and am really surprised. I’ve been ordering regularly from Deep Discount for years and have only had one problem (which they rectified right away). Just lucky I guess??

  15. Troy says:

    I watched the Donner cut on the weekend. It wasn’t anything special. There were a lot of extra scenes, but from what I remember of the theatrical release it was much more enjoyable.

    It wasn’t horrible, but they pulled the old “reversing the spin of the earth will reverse time” thing again. Stupid Hollywood.

    You should see it, but don’t anticipate too much.

  16. Dave2 says:

    I ripped it to my laptop before I shipped my set back so I could watch it immediately rather than having to wait two weeks for my replacement to arrive.

    I feel the Donner cut is much, MUCH better than the original. They got rid of so much stupid slapsticky crap that I always hated, and also ditched the silly super-powers that were never in the comics.

    As for the repetitive ending… that’s not Donner’s fault. It was decided to use the “turn back time trick” in the first film and come up with a new solution for the second film (after it had already been shot). But Donner was fired before he could work it all out. So instead we got that stupid, STUPID “super hypnotic kiss” which was absurd. I’d rather see the “turn back time trick” TEN TIMES than to see the “super hypnotic kiss” even once. So yes, stupid Hollywood for firing Donner before he could finish the film the way it was meant to be done.

    As it is though, this cut is as close as we’re going to ever get, and I am thrilled to have it.

  17. keryn says:

    Take a deep breath… 🙂

  18. Dave2 says:

    I took several. It didn’t help.

    Anybody who puts Undertone Networks with their obscene advertising practices on their site deserves far worse than what I’ve said here.

    And would it really hurt them to put a customer service number in their product packaging? Somebody had to say it…

  19. verninino says:


    Long time lurker first time poster.

    I don’t suppose there’s any particular reason I’m posting now– rather than six month ago or six months from now. As a shiftless lurker with no web domicile, that you write an amusing entry usually accompanied by a fresh illustration every single day really impresses me.

    For the life of me I can’t figure if your curmudgeon cum faux Buddhist is shtick or bona fide. But I suppose there are two tendencies you have that are clearly expressed in this entry that generally bug me.

    One, if you’ve got the capacity (technical know-how and hard disk space) to rip-n-watch the bloody things until you get your replacements then why not do that without spewing that venomous invectives. Time Warner is imperfect, but, you know, they didn’t kill one of your loved ones. Occasionally sh!t happens. Chill. Shesh.

    Two, if you believe in Buddhistic karma it’s ironic that you do not trace the source of much of your misfortune to your raging [redacted] profanity spewing juvenile egomaniacal death wishes– which, by the way, wear a little thin with predictability after the first hundred days or so, at least for this non-sycophant.

    I know you’re a deity wannabe, as a long-time lurker I’ve always been curious about whether you post reasonable critical feedback from folks who aren’t sycophants…

  20. Dave2 says:

    I rant in my blog to release anger and frustrations so as not to have the distraction “in real life.” With that in mind, I do not claim to be a Buddhist… I simply choose to apply Buddhist precepts to my life where I find them helpful. So if I want to use profanity or drink alcohol or curse out a company for assaulting me with web pop-ups… it in no way violates beliefs I don’t have just because somebody would choose to assume I have them.

    What I find ironic is that somebody would continue to read a blog that they feel “wears thin” from “profanity spewing juvenile death wishes” when that’s a perfect description of what this blog is! I never claim it to be anything BUT profanity spewing juvenile death wishes!! Do you curse the sky for being blue? Do you admonish fire for being hot? Do you criticize the ocean for being wet? Love it or hate it, Blogography is what it is.

    I have no problem publishing comments or critical feedback from “non-sycophants,” but I think it would be very clear to any long-time reader that I write in my blog whatever I want to write, and leave it up to the visitor as to whether they care to actually read it. The day I start allowing people to tell me what I can and cannot write here is the day I shut down Blogography. Anything less than full autonomy renders blogging pointless to me.

    Having said that, the point of this entry is that traditional media companies such as music labels and movie studios are going to have to drastically improve their handling of customers to compete with relatively hassle-free (albeit illegal) downloading. If you find the way I illustrate my frustrations juvenile and the verbiage I use to make my point disagreeable, then I’m sorry that I’ve disappointed you… but I am not sorry I wrote it.

    I’d hope anybody who does me the honor of reading Blogography on a regular basis would respect that… but I’ve been blogging long enough to know there are those who read it just so they can be angry with me every day.

    Don’t ask me why. I still haven’t figured out why people want to read this stuff in the first place.

  21. Chris G says:

    Dave, does this link help or is it too late?

  22. Dave2 says:

    Nope… that’s a problem I didn’t even know I had! The duplicate/missing DVD error they refuse to handle over the phone, which is why I had to send it in.

    Would be nice if they put a customer service number in the box rather than waiting until something goes wrong to offer one… that would have saved me from being assaulted by their pop-up infested web site and being passed around their phone system for a half hour! Better yet… how about an email address so I didn’t have to be put on hold for ANOTHER half hour after that to speak to somebody??

  23. Avitable says:

    Verninino, talk about being a self-righteous douche. If you’ve actually been reading Dave for a while, you wouldn’t think any of the shit that you just spewed. A rant is a rant – it has emotion mixed with validity and outrage rolled up into one tidy post.

    And I’m no sycophant.

  24. Dave2 says:


    You so totally worship me! It’s okay to admit it…


  25. Anonymous says:

    Whoa Dave, ease off the Joe Pesci. Where’s your sense of critical nuance/humor?

    I didn’t claim you were a Buddhist, I merely pointed out an irony IF karma is among the Buddhist precepts you choose to subscribe to.

    The impression I get from reading your blogs (which I am aware are merely a one-dimensional– two when illustrated– representation of a fraction of your life) is of a raging, frothing, arm-flailing lunatic. I suppose what your suggesting is that if I encountered you in real life and did something to piss you off, you’d emote as dramatically as a latter-day Bill Murray character; until you got home where you’d get primitive on my bitch ass.

    Fair enough. Whatever keeps you out of jail.

    Since I know you bristle hyperbolically to negative criticism (just like you apparently perk up to praise), I should have qualified myself a little better: your entries ‘wear a _little_ thin’ after a 100 days.

    So why do I keep coming back? For the same reason a junky returns to the crackhouse: habit, those first hundred days are a mother. Which, I suppose, is also the reason I turn to the increasingly dystopian New York Times every morning. Sorry to rust your irony.

    I’m neither angry nor disappointed and never meant to suggest that you change for lil ole me. When I get bored with your shtick I do what any sane net denizen does: lurk elsewhere. When I relapse and return it’s generally because, as I said upfront before: that you write an amusing entry usually accompanied by a fresh illustration every single day really impresses me. Once in awhile you even expose or reveal a keen (or sensitive) insight. (Incidentally, this is probably why folks return again and again and again. Besides, unlike crack, you’re legal.)

    Thinking about it a few minutes longer, I reckon the reason I posted now rather than six, twelve or eighteen months ago is because usually one of your quick-witted, fast-fingered sycophants has already said what I wanted to say, only better. (For those without a sense of nuance, that’s a not-too-subtle compliment.) They do, however, leave a rather large niche for accentuating your negatives.

  26. Avitable says:


    You’re right.

    I didn’t want to admit it, though.

  27. Eve says:

    I HATE returning stuff, so much so that I would have probably just kept the bum discs and eventually bought a replacement. That’s how much I hate returning/exchange stuff.

    When I first got the TWO TOWERS box set, halfway through one of the discs, the movie just stopped. Tried it again, happened again. Tried it on the different DVD players, my computer, etc, happened each time. It was obvious that the disc was faulty and that the whole darn set had to go back. [My] Dave started to pack it all up again and I said “Do we really have to return it?”

    See? There’s something wrong with me.

    I would think that the DVD company (in your case, Warner Bros) would NOT replace the discs. They probably have to get all the sets with errors back from the retailer and go from there. What worries me is will the retailers REALLY return the broken merch? Or will they try and sell it again and hope they get an anti-returner like me?

    Either way, there’s still NO excuse for the crappy customer service and the Pop-Up assault.

  28. Dave2 says:

    Anonymous (verninino?)… I am still trying to figure out where I “bristled hyperbolically” to your criticism, or “went all Joe Pesci” in my reply. I merely addressed all your criticism in a civil manner. Naturally, just like in real life, I will tend to be friendlier when somebody is complimenting me as opposed to being critical (aren’t you?), but you make it sound as if I totally went off on you, which I absolutely did not. I thought I was perfectly nice in my response! I don’t recall EVER having bashed somebody in a reply, because I am happy to receive comments… good or bad. In the end, I can’t control how people are going to view me personally after interpreting something I wrote… but writing a rant in a blog about something that bothers you or drawing a violent cartoon in reaction to something which frustrates you is entirely different than actually ranting to somebody personally or committing violence in “real life.” With (very) rare exception, I don’t think I’ve ever blogged about either, because I’m just not like that. But hey… maybe I would be so much cooler if I was! It apparently works for Joe Pesci.

    Avitable… As always, you can show your deference to my greatness by contributing to the Dave Monument and Daveology Center. We’re a mere 178 billion dollars away from breaking ground! You should take up a collection at the next service of The Church of Holy Avitableness!

    Eve… I don’t know. I don’t understand it. If I find a missing piece in a Lego set, I call Lego, fax a receipt, and they send it to me. Why Warner makes paying customers jump through so many hoops to fix a problem with one disc out of fourteen… when they have no problem doing a replacement for two out of fourteen… completely baffles me.

  29. LarryB says:

    Dave – I understand your frustration. However, if you think about it from the perspective of how modern distribution systems work, the only sensible place for replacement of mispackaged product is at the point of purchase, and if the publisher actually does that sort of thing (not likely) they’d still want to swap out the whole set.

    Maintaining separate stocks of each component of a DVD set, when you have thousands and thousands off sets in market at any given time would drive operational costs up, and the deep discounts and Deep Discount DVD wouldn’t be so deep anymore. Think about it – you’d need a whole staff, a warehouse, safety stocks or every single bill-of-materials item in each package, organized carefully, plus shipping facilities. Basically a whole Amazon dedicated just to fixing errors. Not a great way to go if you want your movies relatively cheaply.

    Alas, the days of Mr. Hooper’s corner store and DVD parlor are way, way behind us – but we got a lot of cheap crap made in Asia in exchange.

  30. Dave2 says:

    If Warner Home Video has an error rate that would require a whole Amazon dedicated to fixing problems, I have no idea how they make any money at all. I would hope that an issue like mine is rare. In the thousands of DVDs I’ve purchased (and hundreds of sets) it has never happened to me before.

    I would understand it if I had purchased some obscure set that’s five years old, but this is a brand new release and Warner should expect there to be problems like duplicate/missing DVDs in a fourteen DVD set. I don’t think being prepared to handle those problems by sending out an occasional missing piece is asking too much. Customer Service could request a case of each DVD from the manufacturer and have a stack of mailers ready when a hot new set is released. Then they just handle the problem themselves in the first six months (when the bulk of the sets are sold) to keep their legal, non-downloading, loyal customers happy (maybe requesting a return the defect/duplicate… like they are doing with DVD #1 and #8 to keep people honest?).

    In the end, it’s the extra effort to keep customers satisfied that’s going to eliminate excuses for illegal downloading. I’d think that would save movie studios a heck of a lot more than what they’d lose if frustrated customers give up buying and start downloading.

    After all that, I still maintain that had there been a customer service number in the box… had I not been assaulted by pop-up ads on their site… had I not been given the phone tag run-around… my reaction wouldn’t have been nearly as dramatic. Shit does happen, but when its compounded like that… I’m thinking I’m not the only one who is going to be angry.

    Sadly, I’ve never had a Mr. Hooper DVD parlor. It would be nice though, because then I would make Mr. Hooper my bestest friend ever and get free DVDs!!

  31. Wayne Hall says:

    In Superman II, when General Zod says this:

    “You will bow down before me, Jor-El! First you and then one day, your heirs!”

    I *always* thought he said “your ass!” at the end. Since I saw the movie during my formative years (I was 10 when it came out), I was trying to learn all sorts of new curse words in the movies. And I just thought that was a way to use “ass” in a sentence — “your ass will bow down before me”.

    I don’t even know how old I was when I learned it was “heirs”. I mean, listen to it. He screams it so loud, “ass” fits better. I was always a little frightened when I saw that movie with my parents because I thought “whoa, they’re cussing right there and my parents aren’t even covering my ears!”.

    As far as quotes go, that’s my favorite, with “Gee, that’s funny. I’ve never seen garbage eat garbage before. ” right behind it.

  32. Tal says:

    You know, if “Anonymous” says it, its GOT to be true!

    Warners is one of the WORST DVD companies around (take it from someone who has thousands of ’em). Their packaging is crap, I sometimes have to take a knife and wedge the disks out when they use those ‘whatchamacallit’ clear plastic packs. They also like to do alot of crap like “best of” sets instead of seasons. And often they will include a bunch of repeat episodes instead of releasing a disk with completely new ones. Bunch of greedy bastards!

  33. nancycle says:

    heh heh, you said “donkey-raping shit-eaters”

  34. ChillyWilly says:

    I am 100% in agreement about your comment about how we as legal paying customers, should be treated better and given top-notch customer service. Makes you wonder where all of the profits are going to, since considering most companies don’t have the large amounts of live operators since the web has replaced many of them with email addresses.

    BTW, I got the Richard Donner cut of SUPERMAN II for christmas and it’s amazing what that movie should have been from the start.

    When you get your corrected box set back, you will have to comment on the movie. I am curious how well you will like the new cut.

  35. ChillyWilly says:

    Didn’t see your post with the following comment from you:

    “I feel the Donner cut is much, MUCH better than the original. They got rid of so much stupid slapsticky crap that I always hated, and also ditched the silly super-powers that were never in the comics.”

    Before I posted my last comment. I had a feeling you would like it.

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