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Bell

Posted on Wednesday, November 29th, 2006

Dave!GAH! The roads here are beyond nasty. My car handles fairly well in the winter months, but when you have ice on top of ice on top of ice, it's pretty harsh for driving. Even if your tires grip on the top layer, you slide on the layer beneath. Winter blows.

• Funniest moment of my day...

I decided to watch Law & Order: Criminal Intent off my TiVo when I got home from work. It featured guest appearances by Bob Saget and Catherine Bell as husband and wife. Eventually Bob's character finds out that his wife is having an affair. There's this dramatic pause and then he cries "HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?!??

I started laughing uncontrollably.

Suddenly I couldn't see these two actors as their characters.

All I wanted to hear her say was "Because I'm CATHERINE F#@%ING BELL and you're just BOB SAGET! That's how!"

I mean seriously...

Catherine Saget

The episode also featured Bernadette Peters with her Kewpie Doll lips as a tough-talking defense attorney, which was almost as funny. Don't get me wrong, I like Bernadette Peters okay, but she was horribly miscast in this role. If she's going to do television, can't her agent find her something that will play on her strengths?

• Second funniest moment of my day...

I received a spam email with the subject line "A man with a small penis is like a butterfly without wings." This moment of poetic zen was so beautiful that I was very nearly brought to tears. Laughing. I suppose this means a man with NO penis is like a cockroach without a... uhhhh... I dunno. I hate roaches anyway.

• Third and final funniest moment of the day...

After my "Tom Waits Sucks Ass" rant yesterday, a kind reader gifted me his first album "Closing Time" which I thought was some kind of torturous revenge or something. Gritting my teeth I pressed play...

...and my head didn't explode as expected. The album is not really my cup of tea, but it ain't that bad either. It's wholly listenable, and even enjoyable in parts. I have no idea what in the heck happened between this album and his appearance on The Daily Show last night, but I'm guessing it involves being declared legally dead and being brought back to life by a voodoo ritual gone horribly wrong. I find the thought of it funny for some reason.

Yeah, I guess it wasn't a very humorous day after all.


Categories: DaveLife 2006Click To It: Permalink
   

Comments

  1. The Chad says:

    I cant believe that guy is still allowed to act. But the line you were waiting for, priceless.

  2. Yeah, this episode was beyond bad, which sucks because I do love my Law and Orders.

    I was completely turned off by the whole ‘I implanted a teeny GPRS tracking system in my wife’s shoulder and all she got was this stupid liver failure’ storyline.

  3. nancycle says:

    You may have underestimated Bob Saget’s coolness see here.

    :-)

  4. Mooselet says:

    So is a man with a large penis like a butterfly with wings, just kinda looking pretty and flitting around randomly, landing on flowers? Because that mental image is making me giggle, and I don’t think one is meant to giggle at a penis.

  5. delmer says:

    When I saw Bob and the hot gal I wondered where this was going. When I read his statement, “How could you do this …” I had the same though you did.

    Was her real answer, “I finally snapped out of the Voodoo trance I’d been under since the day before we met?”

  6. Troy says:

    Bob Saget is the lamest of the lame. God damn you Full House!!!

  7. ms. sizzle says:

    i laughed all three times during this post. so it WAS a funny day.

    i’m glad you gave tom a listen and have come around a bit. :)

  8. Bre says:

    Ugh. Bob Saget gives me the heebie skeevies.

  9. Jeff says:

    That Waits album will grow on you slowly – kind of like mold. But in a good way :-)

  10. ajooja says:

    I haven’t listened to much Tom Waits either, but I always thought his fans think of him kind of like most do about Bob Dylan.

    Not the greatest singer, but his songs “mean something” to his fans.

    I’m a horrible commenter, and I mainly just wrote that so I could say that is probably the best picture of Catherine Bell I’ve ever seen. Sweet!

  11. Anthony says:

    That’s weird. I thought of that Bob Saget video linked above only yesterday. For no reason whatsoever. Ummm…..catherine bell.

  12. poor bob saget. he tried to up his coolness with the video where he’s playing guitar (it’s linked somewhere up there in your comments), but it just didn’t work. it just seems like he’s trying to hard.

  13. diane says:

    Bob Saget was one of only two things I enjoyed about The Aristocrats (the other being Drew Carey). That’s not saying much, because that movie blew.
    “Man With Small Penis is Like Butterfly Without Wings” could either be a great fortune cookie fortune, or the inspiration for a haiku contest. Or a great line from the Chimpokemon episode of South Park!

  14. Michael G says:

    I remember the episode of the Howard Stern show on E! where he had Catherine Bell on it… was definately not one for the kids….

    **sigh**

  15. Laurence says:

    Oh, I know Bob Saget… I can say that when we see Bob Saget, we can’t forget him… even if we WANT to forget him. :-D

  16. Catherine says:

    You neglected to mention that Tom Waits looks like a hobo, a reasonable clean hobo but definately a hobo.

    What was with the crazy hat and where are his teeth?!?!

    Can’t wait til Scarlett Johanssen’s album “Scarlet sings Tom Waits” comes out.

  17. sandra says:

    I so would have watched TV last night if I knew Bob Saget was going to go dramatic!

  18. hanh says:

    dude, it was law and order svu, not ci.
    sheeeeeesh!

    i love pyschotic love stories.

  19. timothy says:

    Saget on Law & Order. He’s not dead? Bob has never been my cup of tea. How did such an unfunny guy score two of the biggest shows on TV in the late 80s?

    Voodoo rituals gone horribly wrong… Tell me more.

  20. Silvertongue says:

    I have a Tom Waits cover album called “Step Right Up” that I LOVE – I liked his voice, but didn’t know much about him. The cover album is what ultimately made me a fan. The cover of “Ruby’s Arms” is one of my all-time favorite songs. You might like it!

  21. yellojkt says:

    Bernadette Peters is still alive? She was hawt when I was a teenager which was a long time ago. And her shrill voice can break glass.

  22. Belinda says:

    But she was having an affair with CHRIS SARANDON. Almost a lateral move, that one.

    Chris Sarandon career highlight: Evil prince in “The Princess Bride.”

    Bernadette Peters career highlight (for me personally, anyway): Wicked Witch in Sondheim’s “Into the Woods” on Broadway. GENIUS, and available on DVD.

    Bob Saget hasn’t had a career highlight yet, and Catherine Bell I know nothing about. Bob has some kind of stupid new gameshow out, though, and I heard on a commercial for it the other day that K-Fed was going to be on it. And they said it like that was a reason you SHOULD watch.

  23. ashley says:

    yep. that episode was pretty strange. Catherine Bell probably got sick of learning “valuable lessons” from him!

  24. kapgar says:

    Could also be like the Smashing Pumpkins who sound great on album, but supposedly suck ass live.

  25. Wayne Hall says:

    I first saw Bob Saget on some comedy show long long ago, before I ever knew he was on the funny videos show or Full House. And he was HILARIOUS. His stand-up was awesome. Then I saw that funny videos show and couldn’t believe it was him.

    I first saw Catherine Bell on some sci-fi made-for-tv time travel show and she was so incredibly good looking I couldn’t believe it. I had to look up her name and find out who this was. And then it listed something called “JAG”, which I had only barely heard of and never saw. Then I found out JAG was, like, popular. Yeah, right. But Bell was super hot!

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