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Posted on Wednesday, August 30th, 2006

Dave!I've done something I've never done before... I've joined a Fantasy Football League.

I'm not into pro sports at all, so this has high disaster potential written all over it. But the league was started by Brandon over at Down With Pants, so it promises to be a good time even if I end up getting my ass kicked.

If nothing else, I have a cool team name...

Blogography Hellmonkeys

Fantasy Daveball

So now I'm suited-up and ready to play. Well, I would be if I could get my pre-draft order set. Apparently Yahoo! Sports has a problem with Apple's Safari web browser. I can't scroll in the pick lists. Hopefully FireFox will work out, because I'd rather take leftovers than have to suffer through using Windows Internet Explorer.

So wish me luck. I'd be very happy to win the $10,000 Grand Prize that Brandon is offering up!

Okay, yeah, I just made that up. But if by some miracle I manage to win this, I would totally deserve $10,000.


P.S. Can somebody tell me who Vincent is blowing on Project Runway that he hasn't been eliminated yet? Two weeks ago his laughably bad craft project somehow knocked the hottest girl off the show. Then last week he actually managed to WIN with that piece-of-crap disco-collar disaster. Now this week he stays in the game with a boring pantsuit? Angela's crap may look stupid, but at least she actually puts some effort into being unique. Something tells me it's going to be Laura, Uli, and Michael to the Final Three.

Categories: Blogging 2006Click To It: Permalink


  1. James says:

    If I had $10,000 that I could give you, I would.
    Because you’re just that great.

  2. Wayne Hall says:

    (Disclaimer #1: I don’t watch Runway or any reality-like show)
    If they did what one would expect, people wouldn’t watch. When they do _stupid_ or asinine things, they create water cooler fodder (or could it be called blogographodder?) The more they get people to say or write ‘Can you _believe_ that did to (insert last-week’s-name>?’!?!?’. ‘I know! It bloggles the mind!!!’

    (Disclaimer #2: I’ve also never done a fantasy football league)

    Nothing to say here – I’ve just always wanted to say that disclaimer. My life is now complete.

  3. nick sizzle says:

    i’m pulling for jeff. i don’t his aesthetics fit with the show, though. but he still is my favorite. laura has really clean lines, though. i agree with your predicted top three.

  4. Laurence says:

    Bonne chance, Dave !

    PS. I would really like to see the real Dave like the Little Dave (with the equipment of sport) !!! Just one picture, pleeeeaaaaaaase !!!

  5. margalit says:

    Project Runway started boring me to death last year and I’ve only watched it once this year. So sorry, no opinions on PR.

    But I’ve got plenty of opinions on Fantasy Football. My son has been playing for a couple of years now, and his team this year is called The Cheeky Wee Monkeys, so maybe you’ll see him on Yahoo. What I’ve discovered is that this game is really addicting. I did fantasy baseball for a couple of years but I couldn’t keep up with the pros. There are some seriously addicted people that play in the Yahoo Fantasy Leagues.

    Firefox works just fine.

  6. Brandon says:

    I can’t wait for the season to start. I am in a league with my dad that I have done for years and I’m interested in that, but I’m really looking forward to this bloggers league. I hope everybody gets into the spirit by staying active and placing sidebets and whatnot. I know I will.

    We need one more team. The $10,000 could be yours*****. Visit my blog now to sign up!

    *****It could be, if you were to donate $10,000 in prize money.

  7. Kapha says:

    Wayne took the words right out of my post (re: Disclaimer #1)…

    Just remember, Dave: It’s all about manipulating and/or anticipating people’s emotional and/or primal reactions. All of it. It’s remarkably simple, really. It’s just hard to perceive because it’s so primal/tribal.

    There you have a classic example of: “Make the audience *feel* like they’re smarter than _____ (us/them/producers/participants/other people in the audience/whoever). The tension will keep them coming back for more, just to prove to themselves that they *are* smarter than _____. It’ll make ’em feel good temporarily (i.e. acts like a drug), and in the process we can sell them more ___________ (food/sex/status-stuff/other similar shows we produce) which they can rationalize purchasing/pursuing/consuming as a reward for their smartness.”

    Once you get the basics down, it’s just a matter of lather-rinse-repeat. Brilliant really. People think they’re acting outside the box when 99% of their behavior is 99% predictable.

    Scary but true. 🙂

  8. karla says:

    Dude! DUDE! Hello! Spoiler alert next time, wouldya? Some of us here in Norway haven’t seen it yet nor have we gotten to download Tim’s Podcast.


    So (small curious voice)…Vincent still kickin’ around, eh? Does this mean Jeffrey got the boot? Oh please say yes….please say it wasn’t Kayne.

  9. A few things:
    You should totally pick your team using ROY G BIV. You know, the first player you pick has red in their uniform, etc. You should do this because I think it would be really funny if you won.

    As for PR, I think Uli should be off. She is a total one trick pony. Vincent should have gone home when he put that basket on that girls head. Malan would have made much better television.

    As for the winners I cannot tell you my guesses because one of them is not a guess, and the other is almost definately not a guess. It helps to know people who work in the fashion industry if, like me, you read the last page in the book first. Sadly, even though I know 2 of the top 3 I am still addicted.

  10. EDDIE says:

    Soccer is hotter than football. But it’s all about bouncy balls…
    What would you purchase with $10,000?

    (You watch Project Runaway??? Don’t you have enough drama queens around you already?)

  11. delmer says:

    I was in a Fantasy Basketball League for a couple of years. I don’t know crap about the NBA … well … any pro teams of any sport … but I was able to put togehter a database that scooped scores off the net. What had been, before my arrival to the league, an hours-long process of scoring was reduced to mere minutes.

    But, I was a horrible manager.

    (The drafts were awseome. We all met. Drank beer and ate wings.)

  12. Dave2 says:

    James… Who are we kidding? I’m worth at least 10 MILLION DOLLARS, so perhaps we should concentrate on getting me that much? 😀

    Wayne… Usually I think that way about reality TV as well… but Runway does seem to take things more seriously. They’ve already eliminated to two most dynamic personalities on the show (one on a technicality of the rules… not a loss)… and just eliminated yet another. But, then again, it’s clothing fashion and a matter of taste. It’s not like Poker where there is a clear winner, it’s ALL subjective, so who knows?

    Nick… I think Michael is the smartest designer on the show, and also like Uli (her designs may look similar, but they are all impressive and professional). I’d be happy if either of them won. Jeffrey’s stuff is “out there” (as you say) and so I don’t think he has much of a chance.

    Laurence… I am a wimpy white guy and would be killed in a real football game! For me, this is the only football chance I’m likely to get! 🙂

    Margalit… Really? Boring? The only reality show I like better than Runway is Top Chef because the people involved have actual skills, which I find more entertaining than most reality shows where the people are pretty stupid. As for fantasy football… I am in it just for fun, and have no plans to do any research or keep up with every single team. I’ll play with what little I know, and that will have to be enough.

    Brandon… Well, the odds of me making side-bets on a game where I know absolutely nothing is pretty small! I only bet when I know there is a chance I can win!

    Kapha… To a certain extent, I realize this is true. But, like I said to Wayne, Runway does have a bit more seriousness to it. Despite matters of taste, talented people do seem to rise to the top in the game, because the judges have absolutely no idea about the drama going on behind the scenes. They judge the work on what they see only, so it’s all a matter of taste (as Tim would say). I just don’t see how Vincent has any.

    Karla… I didn’t think I gave anything important away. Other than Vincent not getting kicked off, there’s nothing really “spoilerish” in there! But don’t worry… if anything interesting enough happens in the final shows, I’ll have a big spoiler alert going on!

    Frances… I had thought about picking my team based on who smiles the least. I figure mean-looking players will kick ass harder, and get me more points! But I eventually had to toss this method out the window, because players I KNOW are good ended up at the bottom. As for Uli, I think her designs are actually kind of unique and well-made. Sure she uses patterned fabric and “flowey” pieces all the time, but that’s her signature element, and not such a bad thing (unlike Angela’s “rosettes” which she slaps on everything she makes whether they look good or not).

    Eddie… I would spend a month exploring Italy using the $10,000! As for why I watch Runway… I watched the British version, Project Catwalk because Elizabeth Hurley was in it, and thought it was actually an interesting show. The drama doesn’t do anything for me, but being creative under pressure is fascinating to me, because that’s what I do most every day in my job.

    Delmer… We’ll see just how big a handicap my ignorance of pro sports is to the game. Certainly some of it is dumb luck, so maybe I can rely on that to get me through! Fortunately, Yahoo! seems to do most of the hard work, so everybody can concentrate on the players. I see the effort that people put into Fantasy Football, and it seems more like work than fun… but I guess everybody has their own way of being entertained. 🙂

  13. Chase says:

    I passed on the fantasy football. Just thinking about it makes me itch. So I told Kevin I’d be a cheerleader for everyone. 🙂

    And, um, freaking Vincent!!!!!!! He should have been out the first week after his stupid stupid stupid basket hat! (Like how creative I am with adjectives?)

    We all knew he was a putz when he showed up at auditions and his portfolio was full of 1984 rejects. They just needed a dumbass for the show this season. And, honestly, I think they were scraping the barrel this year. It kinda blows. (Except Kanye…he’s from Norman, OK!)

    I’ll stop filling space now.

  14. Amity says:

    Amen on your PR insight. Let’s HOPE it’s those final three and that Jeffrey is nowhere to be seen.

  15. kapgar says:

    Oh it’s on! Brandon’s personal $10K stash is MINE!!!

  16. adena says:

    Yes….but now Project Catwalk is going to have Kelly Osborne instead of Elizabeth……

    (Sorry…but, I had to pour salt in the wound…)

  17. Karl says:

    Ugh, yeah, kills me that Vincent is still on PR, though he is slightly entertaining. When Kayne gets removed, it’s gonna be a bit more boring. I think Michael is by far the most talented of the designers. He’s diverse and actually puts thought into his garments. The others, like Laura and Uli, are gifted but seem to be locked into only one type of outfit.

    As for the football, I’m passing. I know less than you do about sports, I’m sure. Can’t imagine it being fun when I can’t even tell the difference between a home run and a touchdown. Those are basketball terms, right?

  18. ms. sizzle says:

    darn it, i missed PR last night! vincent DOES bug. i just don’t really want to think about him blowing anyone… thanks for the visual dave. ha.

  19. suze says:

    okay, i’m playing in this fantasy league as well, but i don’t know nothing about this thing called football. I’m glad to see I’m in good company.

    I’m rating my players based on how aesthetic I find their faces. I find shallow works when I have no other knowledge base to draw from…

  20. Belinda says:

    Your little Hellmonkey player is *totally* sporting an Arkansas Razorbacks uniform. I am subliminally affecting your creative brain, now. FINALLY. Sheesh, it’s taken long enough!

  21. lspryszak says:

    Mr. RW and I both think the Michael should win all the marbles, but Jeffrey HAS to go! That neck tatoo gives new definition to the word ugly and the face above it isn’t much better. Laura is the under-the-radar dark horse: consistent, classy, no big mistakes and so will probably go to the final 3; but 5 going on 6 kids?? What is she thinking?

    Love the team name. You should talk to Mr. RW about Fantasy Football. He’s been in a Strat-O-Matic league for almost 40 years.

  22. Michelle says:

    who would want to be blown by Vincent?? On The Soup they had some weird porn/art film from the ’80s in which he was naked in a laundromat. He’s gotta be gone tonight…but we’ll see!

  23. Jon says:

    I would totally buy a Hellmonkeys jersey.

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