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Wonderful

Posted on Monday, May 8th, 2006

Dave!Whenever I write about some of the freakier Blogography emails I get here, I'm assured of some blogger leaving a comment that says something like this: "at least people pay attention to what you say... I'd kill to get hate mail or ANY mail out of my blog". I then chuckle softly to myself knowing that they would feel quite differently if they actually had to put up with some of the crap I get.

As an example...

In an entry for last year, I had mentioned a "sex switch" (as in GENDER, you perv!) Halloween party from years ago where I dressed up as Wonder Woman. It was big fun and I put a lot of work into getting the costume right. In the comments I had mentioned that I didn't have any pictures of it, but feared that a friend might have taken photos and would post them on the internet some day. Shortly after that, a friend who reads my blog DID manage to track down a drunken pic of Wonder-Dave and emailed it to me. I got a laugh out of it, then filed it away so there will be something interesting to show at my funeral.

But then I get an email from some guy on Friday who said he was trying to build a Wonder Woman costume and wanted to know if I ever found pictures, because he'd like to see how I managed it. I wrote back and said that while I did have a photo, I'm afraid I won't be sending it, because it's personal and I don't want it posted to a pervy website or anything.

The next day I get a reply where he assures me that he won't share the pic, and he really would appreciate it if I could send it to him. I wrote back and politely declined, saying that I wouldn't give it to some of my closest friends, let alone somebody I've never met.

Saturday night I get yet another email. This time the tone is much different. He's hostile now, and wants to know why I won't trust him. Then, as if to encourage me, he attaches some pictures of himself in various costumes... some of which I cannot even begin to describe without inviting search engine hits I really don't want. Suffice to say that this guy likes to dress up as famous women, and looks really good as Cher.

I'm kind of scared now. There is no way I am sending the photo, and yet I really would like to diffuse the situation, so I draw up a cartoon for him and say "sorry, but this is the only photo I'll be sending"...

Wonder Dave

I didn't hear anything on Sunday, and thought that it was over.

I was wrong.

This morning I get this ranting email about how I am a judgmental prick. How I am a close-minded idiot who can't accept other people. Yadda yadda yadda. After reading it, I came to the conclusion that it takes a pretty big dumbass to think this of me just because I won't share a personal photo, and deleted it. I won't even bother to open anything else that arrives from him.

So yeah, I like getting comments and emails from my readers. Always have. But when things like this happen, I have to question my sanity in having a blog at all. The more things I write about and the larger my archives grow, the more search engines are going to set me up for freaky-ass search results. Then even more crap like this is going to happen.

I guess what I'm trying to say is be careful what you wish for, you might just get it.

On the up-side... doesn't cartoon Dave look FABULOUS dressed up as Wonder Woman?


Categories: Blogging 2006, DaveToons 2006Click To It: Permalink
   

Comments

  1. Nez says:

    Yeah, it seems like all the women I get involved with these days have a bit of a five o’clock shadow.

  2. adena says:

    Cartoon Dave looks vaguely like Harvey Fiersein in drag in that cartoon.

    I’m so curious about that photo, now. :)

  3. Erin says:

    I think it was really kind of you to take the time to draw a cartoon of yourself as Wonder Woman.

    I bet the picture is hilarious, but I completely understand you not wanting to share it with all the pervy people of the world.

  4. Jeff says:

    It looks like Wonder-Dave goes to the same hair stylist as J.L. Hewitt does these days. I won’t comment on the neck-down part though.

  5. Troy says:

    What you should do is post his costume pictures on the internet, email him with the link and say “Do you see why you shouldn’t trust strangers with your compromising pictures?”.

    Hell if he really really wanted Wonder Woman pictures I’m sure there are millions on the net. Weirdo.

  6. jenny says:

    That’s okay, I just PhotoShopped your face onto Linda Carter’s body and posted it on my site. If Mohammed won’t come to the mountain… ;)

    (kidding. no need to ban my IP address.)

  7. jodi says:

    let me just say this… try having the word “pussycat” in your blog title and see what kind of searches bring people to your blog.

  8. Göran says:

    Cartoon-Dave-WonderWoman is da bomb! ;-)

    Isn´t it obvious though? The hostile-freaks appear to be here to take over. Outer space won´t distroy us, it´s the bitter people from all over who will!

  9. suze says:

    cartoon dave makes a fine-lookin’ WonderWoman.

    And there are some mighty freaky people in the world…deleting his email unopened sounds like a solid plan to me ;)

  10. What an ungrateful bum the guy is. He gets an original Dave cartoon and he’s STILL bitching.

  11. Chanakin says:

    He sends you a bunch of pics of himself dressed as different women, and then accuses you of being judgmental…. ooookay.

    Cartoon Dave could use a shave. And a wax.

  12. ms. sizzle says:

    you’ve got the right approach now- ignore him. what is it with the internet and people acting all entitled to personal information about you!? i just don’t get it.

    and cartoon wonder woman looks fab!

  13. James D. says:

    Its just the price you pay for being so effin cool.

  14. NetChick says:

    That ungrateful freek needs to be bitch-slapped. Then again, he’d probably enjoy it far too much. Yuck. Rude people suck.

    Y’know, in the 8 or so years I’ve been blogging, I can honestly say I’ve only ‘removed’ 2 distasteful comments, and I’ve never received ugly email. I have, however, received tons of really great email from people who’ve happened on to my site, which I find really neat.

    I’ll colour myself lucky, I guess.

  15. Bre says:

    Because a) my students are nuts and b) I write about them an awful lot I get lots of weird search engine hits too… and charming emails for people looking for pictures of my students in a variety of lewd acts. It’s lovely, isn’t it?

    Also, I think that cartoon Dave is much hotter as wonder woman than I would be in that costume, so call it an upside :-P

  16. Mooselet says:

    Does cartoon Wonder Dave practice ‘personal grooming’? I mean, with a bikini bottom like that, one wonders… Although the 5 o’clock shadow lends me to think not.

    As for your emailer, can you say ‘psycho’ boys and girls? I knew you could.

  17. Kevin says:

    You look mahvelous, dahling!

    I’m with Karl, he gets an original cartoon and still bitches. What an ungrateful prick! I’d kill for an original DaveToon.

  18. Dave2 says:

    Do I get to name the person you kill?

  19. Tink says:

    Cartoon Dave looks FABULOUS DARHLING!!! And it has completely changed the whole wonder women crush that i have…now i get the best of BOTH worlds ; )

    On a side note…it is best to just ignore ignorant asshats as you are too cool for them….

  20. sandra says:

    Aside from the fact that the Wonder Woman wannabe sounds a bit…odd…it’s weird to me that someone in any circumstance wouldn’t just take “no” as an answer. Seriously. It’s not like you, by not sending the photo, were preventing him from doing anything except look at your picture. Which is — of course — quite distressing in itself….

  21. Chase says:

    Kevin, take Dave’s advice on “be careful what you wish for.” I, too, hoped one day to get a Davetoon of myself. Let’s just say ToonChase didn’t like clothing much. *blush* ;)

    And…is it wrong I’d give Wonder-Dave my number? I don’t even mind the stubble…

  22. ssp says:

    Whew… I’ve never gotten scary e-mails. But some of my old pages have started a life of their own and there has been a vivid discussion of inane virus writer wannabes which was sad. But I also have a fairly long comment thread dealing with suicide which freaks me out every time someone who doesn’t obviously look like a joker leaves a comment.

    And while I’ve generally decided I shouldn’t care for people who are too dumb to read a post (including the disclaimer I specifically added in this case) and understand that it’s the wrong place for their comments, it just feels a bit creepy in this case.

    And, um, the page in question seems to be #1 on Google for ‘I wanna die’ for some reason. Scary.

  23. mikey says:

    Damn I wanted to see your shaved legs!!

  24. nancycle says:

    Maybe this would have appeased him:

    http://www.sidesmack.com/potherfunnybig/Wonder%20Woman.jpg

    You could have admitted that your Hello Kitty Pop Tart binge and perogie diet rounded your face out a little, but you trusted that he wouldn’t be judgemental or pass it around.

    Now, if that wouldn’t cut the mustard this “stand in” most certainly have done the trick:

    http://www.lixonline.com/images/Chiller%20404/wonder_woman.jpg

    …that IS a “stand in” right Dave?

  25. Bec says:

    Good God nancycle, those images are disturbing!

    Morons ahoy! I had a whole insanity on my blog a while back and the freak in question has now had his IP address banned twice (he started mailing from a second location)…

    If your new lunatic mails again, tell him there are websites and chat rooms for that kind of thing! Mind you, there are always websites and chat rooms…

  26. Nice Picture although I think Wonder Woman needs to get rid of her five o’clock shadow…..

  27. apryl says:

    it seems to me the whole psycho email thing is just an attempt to be mentioned in your ultimately famous blog. and you fell for it.

    negative attention is still attention.

  28. ChillyWilly says:

    Net stalkers… f-em! or in your case, ignore them.

    Cartoon Wonder Dave looks pretty cool. I think a constume could be designed around that.

    As for sharing personal pictures with complete strangers, I don’t even do this in real life, let alone over the web.

    Now if I happen to have taken a digcam pic at the bar and a hottie just happened to be in that picture, well then we just call that “Sharing time”…. amongst close friends, of course.

  29. claire says:

    Your cartoon is pretty detailed, what more can he want?

    I confess at first glance, I was a little thrown, but only because I had the poster of LC as WW when I was little- the background was red, but your version still struck that memory nerve. And really that just means quality. Nice job!

  30. Juli says:

    Oh great.. now you’re going to get a nasty-gram from Linda Carter. She’s going to be WAY jealous over this cartoon.

  31. Grins says:

    Cartoon Dave is totally hot as Wonder Woman! By the way, was the guy that emailed you this guy? http://www.pixyland.org/peterpan/petersFashionPage.html

  32. Eve says:

    Well, now I know how to get a personal Davetoons out of you. That Wonder Woman Davetoon is awesome.

    And not to be judgmental, but the site that Grins linked is killing me.

  33. SJ says:

    Dave2, it looks like your WW boob-balloons are leaking air …

  34. Lisa says:

    I think just using the term “freaky-ass” is going to get you some interesting hits…

  35. jaspina says:

    I love wonder woman and this music lover loves the name of your blog

  36. R says:

    Hi, Dave. I just found your blog not too long ago and I find you endlessly entertaining–I could laugh myself silly!

    I think you have a “net stalker”! My sister had a stalker once–it wasn’t funny. I think you did the right thing not sending pictures, but I think you know that!

    R

    P.S. Love the cartoons!

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