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Forty

Posted on Friday, March 24th, 2006

Dave!Today I am forty years old.

That's a lot of years. Where did it all go?

Still, I can't complain. I've done a lot of things in my life, am fortunate to have seen a bit of the world, am relatively healthy, and have terrific friends and family to get me through the day. I guess that makes me a lucky guy (if I believed in luck, which I don't).

But forty... wow. A pity that I still act like a 12-year-old, but everybody has their issues.

Anyway, I guess I'm ready to die now.

Not that I want to die, I'm just saying... if it happens, I'm okay with it.

And if I get to choose how I'm going to die, I think it would go something like this...

Birthday 2006

Birthday 2006

Birthday 2006

Birthday 2006

Zombie Dave

Zombie Dave

   

The good news is that being dead gives me a terrific new DaveToon to draw...

Zombie Dave

And just for the record, Bad Monkey did not die from a marathon love-making session with Elizabeth Hurley. He died from an overdose of Coke with Lime.

Uhhhh... yeah.

Happy birthday to me.


Categories: DaveLife 2006, DaveToons 2006, Elizabeth HurleyClick To It: Permalink
   

Comments

  1. Göran says:

    A very Happy birthday to you!!!!

  2. rach says:

    yeah, so that’s a bottle of diet coke under the white sheet, right?

    happy birthday, man.

  3. Belinda says:

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! This is the weirdest sentiment I think I’ve ever expressed, but my wish for you is that your death go exactly as you’ve described…or that you just live long enough, and get doddery enough, to believe it did. You are just adored by so many–you are truly blessed. Pick closing scene from either “Pride of the Yankees” or “It’s A Wonderful Life” and insert speech about being the “luckiest man” or the “richest man” in the world HERE.

    Could I ask, just in case the two of you don’t go at the same time, that you leave Bad Monkey to me? I will take care of him, and monitor his Coke with Lime intake. I think he’d get on famously with the Ninja Poodles.

    And I feel I must point out how amazing and civic-minded it is that you, even after being zombified, come back from the dead, but stop to kill Jared BEFORE resuming sexathon with Liz! Whatta guy, dead or alive!

    Really. Happy Happy, Guy.

  4. digibrill says:

    Hey, we share a birthday! Just happened upon your site through Belinda. Gonna check it out and see what you got.

  5. SANDRA says:

    Havent you heard that life begins at 40??

  6. Ben says:

    You don’t look a day over 39!

    Happy Birthday, Mr Daveident, Happy Birthday to youuuuuuuuu.

  7. i8toomuch says:

    Happy Birthday, big guy.

    Death by Liz Hurley, now that’s a good way to go.
    I was once told that how we imagine we’ll die is most likely how we will..
    It sounds strangely wrong but may your fantasy comes true in time to come.

  8. Frank Mantek says:

    Happy Birthday.

    I hope if death comes to you that way, it won’t take another 40 years… yack….

    :)

    Frank

  9. ash says:

    Happy Birthday Dave!
    Zombie sex is more than a little disturbing but I suppose there are worse things to happen to you after you die. Speaking of disturbing, is it just me or is Liz Hurley’s face really messed up in that first picture? There’s something weird about her mouth…
    Anyway, hope you get everything you wanted (minus the death)

  10. Mr. Fabulous says:

    Belinda sent me over. She’s right. You are a funny fellow. I enjoy acting like a 12 year old too.

    I always tell people I’m ready to die, too. Actually, what I tell them is I’m ready to go home to Jesus (except I say it in a TV preacher voice, so it’s more like JEEE-sssssssssssssuuusssssss!)

    And Elizabeth Hurley WOULD be a nice way to go, but I still prefer going down in a hail of gunfire.

    It’s inevitable.

  11. kazza says:

    happy birthday dave

    *hugs* from down under :):):):)

  12. Nicole says:

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAVE! I hope you have a great weekend and you celebrate well. Hey, you should have a Malibu and Coke with Lime!

  13. Cavan says:

    Happy b-day! So…uhhh…what’s zombie sex like, exactly?

  14. D-S says:

    Happy Birthday Dave!

  15. SJ says:

    Felicitations on your natal anniversary, Dave2!

    My wish for you is that the second trimester of your life be twice as outrageous as the first. In a good way, of course!

    P.S. This cartoon sequence is even better than Lego Dave. Zombies totally RULE.

  16. robin says:

    Happy Birthday Dave, good luck with the Liz Hurley Scenario. You might want to go back and run your zombie face through the ‘My Heritage’ celebrity lookalikes, so that you can figure out if they’re getting ready to shoot you next. Especially if you plan to spend any time at the mall. I’m just saying.
    BTW, I get to go through this whole 40 y/o introspection in 7 months and 11 days…ACK!

  17. Kevin says:

    Big honkin’ happy birthday to you, Dave!!! Forty!?!?! Dang, you’re an old fart.

    I worry about what SJ said… if this is the start of the second trimester of your life, are you prepared to live to 120? That’s one old monkey.

    Is there any particular reason that Zombie Dave and Monkey slightly resemble and even make the same utterances as Bill the Cat? Hairballs as well?

  18. Wade says:

    Okay, Room 324 is your birthday. But I’m trying to figure out why, after forty years of training, you only lasted 5 hours and 25 minutes with Liz? Maybe this was a job for “The Lone Dick” Dave toon.
    Have a Great Birthday!!!

  19. Firda says:

    HAPPY BIG FOUR-OH!

    Don’t let mid-life crisis get you down! :P

  20. Neil T. says:

    Happy Birthday! But seriously, I though you were in your late twenties or something…

  21. Anthony says:

    Happy Birthday! :) Ya legend

  22. Jeff says:

    Happy Birthday!

    Lordy lordy, look who’s… 12?

    I loved turning 40 and have been doing more new things than ever before. Enjoy!!!

  23. Chase says:

    Happy Birthday!!!

    I suggest you celebrate by buying tix to BlogHer so you can get fondled by hundreds of blogger women. I bet most of them would let you call ’em Elizabeth.

  24. RisibleGirl says:

    Happy birthdy Dave! I’m a daily lurker, but wanted to pop in for birthday greetings.

    Today is also my second sons’ birthday. He’s 23. I had him when I was 12. ;)

    Have a great year.

    -RG

    (PS- I, too, live in the Seattle ‘area’)

  25. adena says:

    Happy bday!! Although, I’m not entirely sure that it’s zombie sex….I more think you’re actually devouring her.

    I mean, obsessed and all…once you’re a zombie, nothing would make you happier than a Liz Buffet.
    (and I guess that means you’re not following a vegetarian lifestyle in the afterlife…)

  26. nic says:

    I have a great idea! Let’s get another year OLDER!

    You first.

    Happy Birthday, Dave.

  27. Harold says:

    “Happy Birthday” Dave….but I seem to remember it was your 40th last year…what’s UP with that?
    (and I’m not talking about your bed sheet either)

  28. Chanankin says:

    Happy B-Day

    Thanks for all the laughs – especially today’s

  29. Bonnie says:

    Hope you have a very happy birthday! Remember that 40 is the new 25.

  30. Eve says:

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DUDE!!!

    Today is my Mom’s birthday, too!

    Some other happenings today in history:
    1989 Exxon Valdez oil spill
    – U.S. appeals court rules novel Lady Chatterly’s Lover not obscene in 1960
    – Nineth planet Pluto was named in 1930
    – Mormon Joseph Smith beaten, tarred, and feathered in Ohio in 1832

    Listen, if you’re what it’s like to be 40, then I’m not scared of aging anymore. Not only are you aging really well, Zombie Dave is decomposing nicely.

    Have an awesome birthday filled with lots of Coke with Lime, Golden Oreos, and Liz Hurley wood (and not so much tar and feathering).

  31. Patti says:

    Happy Birthday Dave!

    May your wish of dieing atop Liz come true! (not that I want you dead)

    Zombie Dave IS cool though…so…..

  32. Silvertongue says:

    Happy birthday, Dave!

    May the next 40 bring you all the Liz-loving, lime-Coke-drinking, less-annoying-people dealing, and bad-monkey-adventure-having that you well deserve.

    Enjoy your day!

  33. Patrick says:

    Hey, a haaaaaapppy BIRTHDAAAAY!!!!

    But…40!? You wish – not a year older than 24… :)

  34. Happy birthday and good to know that someone with such deep rooted addictions such as you can get a legal outlet through the blog – oh wait, I think Zombie sex is outlawed in Alabama and the District of Columbia – so stay legal and stay safe!

  35. Anonymous says:

    Damn Dave, I would have never guessed that you were 40. I was thinking you were pushing around the mid 30’s.

    Well I hope you have a great birthday!

  36. Bryan says:

    I can think of much worse ways to go. Happy birtday.

  37. sandra says:

    Happy birthday, Dave! Me and Liz have been rejoicing all week with excitement that the ever-fabulous you was born. I’m trying to get her to promise that she’ll serve you Coke with lime after you guys do your thing…I’ll keep you posted. All or nothing, right?!

  38. Brandon says:

    Happy Birthday Dave! I just turned 29 last week and I feel like an old man, I can’t imagine 40. Just kidding.

    Wow, Little Dave is hung like a moose, should we really still refer to him as Little Dave?

  39. barrett doke says:

    happy birthday dave.
    …loved the davetoons

  40. Happy Birthday Dave ;-) You always amaze me with ur imaginations ;-)

  41. trixie says:

    happy birthday dave!

  42. lizriz says:

    Happy Birthday!!!

    :) :) :)

  43. Chris says:

    Happy Birthday Dave! :D

  44. Deb_LA says:

    Happy Birthday! 40 is the new 20 or at least that’s what US Weekly told me and they never lie! Great post, I had no idea Liz was a Necropheliac. Good to know, good to know…

  45. Liked the cartoon (noticed the room number).

    Have a Happy Birthday!

  46. Stingray says:

    Happy B-Day Ace. So Liz would do a zombie but draws the like with monkeys? :/

  47. Brad says:

    Bon anniversaire mon ami!

  48. margalit says:

    Happy birthday, Dave (and Dave2)

    This was the funniest series you’ve drawn yet. Totally hilarious. I can’t wait till you turn 50 to see what comes up then!

    Send this to elizabeth hurley…please!

  49. timothy says:

    Happy birthday!

    I’ll use what power I have and see if I can’t get that Elizabeth Hurley thing to happen.

  50. Craig S says:

    Normally I don’t wish people “happy birthday”s. I don’t say “bless you” either.

    Today, I will make the exception…Bless You and Happy Birthday. May all your Jagerbomb dreams come true.

  51. RW says:

    A thousand returns on the day. I’m proud to wear your shirt. If ever I get it. :-)

    Best to you and yours always.

  52. Mark says:

    Dave,

    Happy birthday! Someone buy the birthday boy a bourbon, a scotch, and a beer. And buy one of each for yourself.

  53. Art says:

    Happy Birthday Dave

  54. Dan says:

    Very funny! Happy 40th! Better than being 50!

  55. alice says:

    Happiest of Birthdays!!! -=)

  56. Phil says:

    I thought you were 38?! I guess we’re not twins after all.

  57. amamgets says:

    So what did Elizabeth say when Zombie Dave come through the door? Did she like her Dave dead or alive?

  58. Marc says:

    A very happy birthday, Dave! Hope you’ll go round the world another couple of times before you die.

  59. Tracy says:

    Happy, happy day!

  60. Annette says:

    A very Happy Birthday to you! Drinks all around.

  61. Mooselet says:

    Happy Birthday to you!
    Happy Birthday to you!
    You look like Bad Monkey,
    And Liz Hurley loves you!

  62. Mocha says:

    Being married with three kids and living in that blissful state of motherhood has NOT deterred me from wanting to die in that same way. I mean, it’s your fantasy and all, but seriously, I’d go out like that.

    Happy Birthday.

  63. Brittopia says:

    I hope you had a good birthday. I know that his personal life is in disarray in the tabloids, but just feel comforted to know that Mr. Hasselhoff married one of his former brides on your birthday. The connection is real.

  64. ChillyWilly says:

    Happy Birthday, Dave. Welcome to 40. It’s not a bad place, but it’s an interesting place. Can’t wait to see what 45 brings… I’ve got a little more than 2 years before I find out.

    BTW, your cartoons today remind me of a South Park episode called Pink Eye, where Kenny ends up eating people’s brains.

    Of course, yours is better since Kenny never got to bang Elizabeth Hurley.

  65. jenny says:

    Happy birthday Dave! I can’t believe Zombie Dave is eating meat now! But I heard that if you get him w/ the fat free ranch dressing, Jared only has 7 grams of fat.

    May your every Hurley wish come true!

  66. Wayne Hall says:

    This post was so laugh-out-loud funny (especially the ROWRRRR slide) I had to read it a few times. Sometimes you read some things and can’t stop laughing. Life is truly wonderful when you feel that way.

    Until you die, that is. But death is truly wonderful when you die *your* way.

    If you send me your birth time and place, I can have my wife do up a chart for you. She’s studying to be a professional astrologist. I know you said in your FAQ that you don’t believe in astrology but astrology is truly wonderful when you , um, well the analogy has lost it’s charm.

    How about this – you send me the info, and she’ll do up a chart privately and then you can let her know how “accurate” it is. 1) she doesn’t even know you exist (she’s not an online kind of person too much), so she wouldn’t be cheating and 2) your feedback would help her refine her skills. If you really need more incentive, I’ll throw in a bag of golden oreos and a case of coke with lime. No kidding.

    I would throw in Liz, but frankly last time we were together *I* lost the bet, and *she’s* supposed to find *me* someone who fantasizes about me for me to have a 28 Days Later-style hotel rendenvous with.

    Tough luck dude. And send me the info.

  67. Kimberly says:

    Happy (ever so slightly belated) Birthday Dave! I hope the festivities haven’t left you too hungover ;) If your ever in the neighborhood pop in my bar, free Jagerbomb(s) for the Birthday boy.

    Cheers to you~

  68. Sayuri says:

    Sorry I am late……..

    Haapy Birthday!!!

  69. Jennifer says:

    Hurley Birthday, Dave. Late, but what do you expect from Hurley Birthday wishes?

  70. Troy says:

    Dave,

    I just read this post today. Happy belated B-Day and like Neil I didn’t think you were 40. Congrats on looking so young :)

    Cheers.

  71. Clever says:

    Wow, you’re so old now! =D Happy belated birthday!

  72. delmer says:

    Dave,

    I’m late to the well wishing, but Happy Birthday.

    I also lack the desire to read through 79 other comments … perhaps one of the other older-than-you farts has mentioned that at his/her advanced age he/she still acts like a 12-year old, so you’re not alone. (If someone else hasn’t pointed it out, please accept this as that pointing.)

    I know I’m constantly amazed my the immature, oddball thoughts I have and things I do. My dad always seemed so mature. Am I to beleive that when he was at the grocery store he was thinking things like, “I wonder how many grapes I could get in my mouth.” (I think at least 25, a lot more if I mush them up.)

  73. Eve says:

    I just saw this segment on today’s Extra tv show with Liz Hurley and thought of you:

    How Elizabeth Hurley Stays Fabulous at 40

  74. claire says:

    Happy birthday! We’re still in birthday week mode, right?

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