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Posted on Tuesday, March 7th, 2006

Dave!I've decided that I don't like being a delivery boy. Too much hassle for too little reward. There are perks, however. Unlike my "real" job which never ends, this job is done, done, done. I hand over the package, and it's over. I can go home and not think about it anymore.

The only thing I have to think about is whether my flight is going to leave on time. Last night they were having problems with their radar here at O'Hare, and we arrived a half-hour late. And since I didn't get much sleep last night, I really don't want any delays for my flight out. I'll have a hard enough time staying awake for the 3-hour drive home once I land in Seattle.

As a side-note... why in the heck do they put cameras in mobile phones?

The quality is always tragic, making the camera totally worthless, so why bother?

Camera Phone

On the left is a picture out my window from yesterday's flight out of Seattle. Since I bought my ticket earlier that same day, I got a crappy seat in the back of the plane. I wanted to preserve the moment forever, but this picture isn't going to bring back any memories except how much my phone's camera sucks ass.

On the right is a photo of a dumbass who is clipping his nails here in United Airlines "Red Carpet Club". This elite refuge for frequent travelers is supposed to be a classy and comfortable retreat from the chaos of waiting at the gate. As it turns out, you get the same redneck morons who think that flinging their nail clippings everywhere is acceptable behavior.

But, on the other hand, here at the Red Carpet Club you get FREE MINI BAGELS WITH CREAM CHEESE!! WOO HOO!!

Mini Bagel

Actually, these bagels totally blow, which just goes to prove that you cannot find a decent bagel outside of New York. Don't ask me why.

OH GREAT! SOME BITCH JUST BROUGHT A SCREAMING BABY... INTO THE RED CARPET CLUB!! I guess that's my cue to go claim my seat upgrade and go home. I project my odds of being able to sleep on the plane at 6%. Hopefully somebody will drop a suitcase on my head as they try to over-stuff the overhead bin so I can finally get some rest.

Categories: Travel 2006Click To It: Permalink


  1. delmer says:

    I got a free camera for use with my Palm Tungsten several years ago. It stuck up our of the SD slot. I gave it a ‘coolness’ rating of 8 when I got it and before I used it. Pictures were less than spectacular — I used it, maybe, twice.

  2. Rob says:

    I use the camera on my mobile all the time. Sure the quality sucks, but that is what I use for my moblog. But if I’m trying to take pictures of things that I’m going to keep, like family, I would use my FinePix.

  3. Kevin says:

    Can’t you complain about these people? Call HazMat on the clipper guy. Claim that we don’t know what kinds of diseases are harbored in his bloodstream and that finger and toenail matrices are composed of a lot of disease-laden blood and plasma and that his actions are endangering all of you. Give it a shot.

  4. Pauly D says:

    FYI – the reason for NYC bagels being the best in the world is the water. I swear, it’s the water. People say that, don’t totally embrace that, but it’s true.


  5. Bec says:

    Until I can afford to buy a new camera I am using the wonder that is film! Oh yes, I use a Kodak APS camera and then pay a stupid amount of money to get the pictures put onto CD for upload purposes… And my mobile. God, I hate my mobile. (Grumble, snipe, rant about having no money and rent being high and rubbish landlords…)

    But, mmmmm, bagels…

  6. The tap water in New York City consistently ranks among the best tasting tap water in the country. It comes down from reservoirs in the Adirondacks. The rumor that I’ve heard is that you need to boil your dough in New York City water to get a good New York City bagel. Which makes it really difficult to get a good bagel outside of the city. At least, that is what I’ve heard.

  7. Neil T. says:

    The camera on my phone is useful for quick snaps – most of my photos of Hari are taken with it. Though my phone boasts a 1.3 megapixel camera the quality is still pretty poor, but I do it more for the memories and not for photographic reasons.

    The reason why cameras are now so common on phones is that the networks will hope that you send MMS messages with pictures in to your friends, which makes them lots of money. It’s all a big conspiracy.

    That said, I have had a cameraphone for a long time now and I’ve never sent a picture message.

  8. sandra says:

    WHYYYYYYYYYYYYY do people think it’s okay to clip their nails in public?!! Would they cut their hair? shave their legs? There are literally bits of nail flying all over the place. Keep it in private! EWWWWWWW! (you’ve just hit on a pet peeve of mine — there’s a guy on MUNI here who cuts his nails periodically and I can’t stop myself from staring at him with a “die, now” look)

  9. dave says:

    yeah.. my camera phone blows.. i gave up on it when i found out i cant even transfer the photos to iphoto. LAME.

  10. MRKisThatKid says:

    Haha, I’m comforted to discover the camera on your phone is just as bad as mine. I think the only use for it is to take mug shots to use for when they call. Tell you what drives me crazy, its when ppl hold their phones in the air during gigs, eejits, they won’t be able to make out a single thing.

    I’m a bit worried about this delivery boy job of yours, have you gotten involved with the mafia?

  11. ssp says:

    So what exactly is so bad about sitting at the back of a plane? Much better than sitting in the middle if you ask me as you can actually see things other than the wing when looking out of the window.

  12. Bryan says:

    That is so gross! Why do people think that that’s okay?

  13. Cavan says:

    OK, let’s review the evidence.

    1. Dave is always travelling to exotic locales.
    2. Dave has acute homicidal tendencies.
    3. Dave gets mysterious phone calls, which prompt him to jump on a plane and deliver a “package” to unknown parties.

    I was suspicious of your moonlighting as a hitman before, but now I’m convinced.

  14. adena says:

    Chicago is an exotic locale??

    Altho’, it DOES make me lean towards the Mafia theory.

    Was this “package” in a large, heavy duffel bag?

  15. Mooselet says:

    Useless as tits on a bull, as my daddy would say. My Teen has a phone with all the bells and whistles and uses the camera constantly. Lots of pictures of the pavement.

    Personally, I think Dave’s a drug mule.

  16. claire says:

    I like the idea of a cameraphone since I already carry a phone, and I’m not going to carry an SLR around all the time. However with that quality, I’m not going to buy a new phone just for that feature.

  17. Bre says:

    The Red Carpet Club? You are far swankier than I will ever hope to be… even with the screaming baby and the toenail clippings. I’m the one who always gets stuck between the chatty little old lady and the guy who stacks his carryons in the middle of the aisle!

    and Paul! Wah-tah? Everyone knows it’s pronounced “wudder!” geeze!

  18. Belinda says:

    Liking Cavan more and more every single day. Ah, Dave, the things you share with people! Like…other people!

    And camera-phones are totally for double-naught spy work. My shoe-phone doesn’t get great reception, but that’s not the point, is it?

  19. jenny says:

    Wait a minute – you mean I can’t shave my legs in the Red Carpet Club? Sheesh. Some red carpet.

  20. ChillyWilly says:

    You have a good point about NY bagels, but I can tell you that some come pretty close. The Bagelry here in Salt Lake comes close on their asiago cheese. But it’s been almost 6 years since I’ve had a NY bagel, so perhaps I’ve just gotten used to what I can get here at home.

    Mini bagels should be banished to only cheaply-thrown together press events by companies that can’t afford anything because they’ve pissed away every last remaining dollar on getting their delayed product out the door before their VC’s pull funds for next quarter.

  21. i8toomuch says:

    I was once on a flight to Denmark that was full of cute Scandinavian guys. And who did end up sitting next to for the next 12 hrs?

    A fat bald guy in his 50s who hijacked my left arm rest and snored for Europe. I also suspected that he hasn’t wash for the last 3 months.
    And THAT is tragic.

  22. Nez says:

    Don’t laugh! The bagels are actually better in New Jersey! Yes, it is the water (war-der).

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