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Geeky

Posted on Wednesday, January 11th, 2006

Dave!I confess that I am a geeky nerd.

But you probably already knew that.

My geeky nerdiness is multifaceted in that I am part sci-fi dweeb (thanks to Star Trek) and part comic book dork (thanks to Batman). And, in-between all of that, is a love of Japanimation, Macintosh, Curious George, video games, and blogging. All I need is an inflatable plastic girlfriend, and I think I'm set...

Dave Nerd

But no matter how much of a geeky nerd I am, there's always somebody who's a step ahead of me.

Like Bill Gates, for instance.

Bill is the ultimate geeky nerd, and the fact that he has billions of dollars makes him a geeky nerd to be reckoned with (not to mention exceedingly generous, since he's giving away huge amounts of money to charitable causes). Here's a dweeb who has amassed a fortune of such huge proportions that there is literally nothing he can't do...

...except get a handle on cool new trends.

He was late to graphical interfaces. He was late to the internet. He was late to video... He's always one step behind what all the cool kids are doing, and the list goes on and on. If it doesn't involve Windows or MS Office, he's out of the loop.

As a current example, here's an excerpt from an interview he gave over at Engadget regarding the new Microsoft/MTV online music store called (=snicker=) URGE:

Bill Gates: "With music, having MTV as a partner is a great thing. We think they can get the word out, do some neat things. We're also doing a lot in Messenger to make it so you can share playlists, so you can listen to different things. The next version of Messenger has music as one of the big breakthrough scenarios."

Yeah. Right. Except partnering with MTV for music expertise is laughable and so very, very lame.

You can't even FIND music on MTV anymore. In checking their schedule just now, I see a show called Next, followed by three episodes of Real World/Road Rules Challenge, followed by There & Back, followed by My Own, followed by another episode of Next, followed by Room Raiders, followed by Punk'd, and topped off by SIX episodes of Viva La Bam.

These are all reality-based television shows.

WHERE IS THE F#@%ING MUSIC?!?

Teaming up with MTV for music is like teaming up with McDonalds for tacos, and I just don't get it. Sure if this were 1984, partnering with MTV would be totally sweet. But in 2006 it's just sad. Once again, Bill is behind the curve. Apple is flying high with iTunes, so now Microsoft has to do yet another "me too" by making their own music store (apparently MSN Music didn't work out?)... except they team up with a has-been and give it a lamer name like "URGE" (which could only be more lame if they called it "EXTREME URGE" or some crap like that).

When is Microsoft going to stop being the bloated whore of the tech industry so they can be lean, hungry, and bleeding edge? When is Bill Gates going to understand that these sloppy-seconds "partnerships" are just not relevant when we're talking about a ship that's already sailed. I'm tired of Bill being late to the dock, then renting a little rowboat thinking that he'll be able to catch up... all the while screaming to the media about how Microsoft is doing all this cool shit that, in reality, is only cool to him.

Total crap like "URGE" is a waste of money and makes us geeky nerds look bad. Even worse, it stifles REAL innovation by distracting attention from things that actually ARE bleeding edge and cool.

BILL... YOU HAVE BILLIONS OF DOLLARS!! MICROSOFT IS ONE OF THE WEALTHIEST COMPANIES ON EARTH!! You don't NEED venture capital to finance something new... YOU'VE GOT MONEY COMING OUT YOUR ASS! STOP DICKING AROUND AND GET TO WORK!!

Build a flying car. Come up with wireless electrical power. Figure out a way to keep Golden Grahams from going soggy in milk... I don't really care... just do something NEW with your money for a change. Reclaim the geeky nerd you used to be and stop trying to play catch-up with the crap we've already got (seriously, "URGE"? WTF?!?). If you can't make it BETTER, it's just a waste of everybody's time.

In conclusion... wouldn't it be cool if McDonalds really did sell tacos?

McTaco they could call it!

BLOGOGRAPHY FLASHBACK ENTRY: DaveXP
BLOGDATE: March 6, 2005
   
In which Dave finally figures out a way of fixing all the bugs in Windows XP.
Click here to go back in time...


Categories: Apple Stuff 2006, DaveToons 2006, Music 2006Click To It: Permalink
   

Comments

  1. Kevin says:

    Wouldn’t it be revolutionary to see Bill offer his support for iTunes officially as the de facto online music store? If that happened, nobody could ever compete because we’d have the support of the be-all-end-all nerd.

  2. Dave2 says:

    Don’t get me wrong… if Microsoft came up with a way to revolutionize the online music store and surpass iTunes in features and usability, I’d have no complaints.

    But “URGE” is the solution?!?

    LAME!

    Gates is just further fracturing the non-iTunes market which already Has Yahoo! Music, Napster, Rhapsody, Sony Connect, MSN Music, and heaven only knows what else. He’s not improving anything… just adding to the clutter. Is that really the best use of Microsoft’s power?

    I WANT MY FLYING CAR, DAMMIT!

  3. Rob says:

    Flying car?
    Do a google search for flying car. It’s just around the corner.

    we all could be flying around in our jetson style cars, listening to “music” from our Urge account. ahhh what a future.

  4. MRKisThatKid says:

    How’s about an online music service that isn’t run by a tech company with vested interests outside of music content itself. Nah I know.

    If they had split microsoft into a company for windows and a company for applications then they may well be a lean fit software machine. But ah well, that chance has gone now.

    It doesn’t matter what you eat at mcdonalds ‘cos all you can taste is dodgy beef because of the all powerful smell that is thrown at you as soon as you enter the establishment.

  5. Harold says:

    McTacos??? Well that may not be a bad idea…but fastfood places that serve tacos also serve with them tater-tots and I don’t know if I could force myself to say “McTots” !!!!!

  6. Cavan says:

    Mmmm…how I love Golden Grahams.

  7. Troy says:

    I think a better analogy would be “Teaming up with MTV for music is like teaming up with TACO BELL for tacos”. Not because they don’t make Tacos, but because their tacos aren’t as good as real tacos, and there are better places to get tacos from.

    Since MTV I would imagine still occasionally plays music, there are just better options when it comes to music channels.

  8. Dave2 says:

    But wouldn’t a McTaco be ever so cool??

    I’m holding out for a Veggie McTaco myself.

  9. nicole says:

    McDonald’s does sell tacos – it’s called Chipotle. :)

    I get what you’re saying, though, and I totally agree. But Bill must be on to something or he wouldn’t be so damn rich.

  10. Dave2 says:

    Bill WAS on to something… it was creating a monopoly for his Windows OS and Microsoft Office suite.

    What has Microsoft done for us lately? New releases and bug fixes for Windows and Microsoft Office.

    Wheeeee.

  11. Kevin says:

    The thing is that it’s not just Mac users that are ridiculing Gates and Microsoft these days. Even Windows users have been asking the whole “what have you done for me lately” question. They’re watching as all these other companies are coming out with the next great thing and MS is dropping the ball. Firefox is clearly the IE killer. Open Office, if some corporations would start to adopt it, could be the MS Office killer. So on and so on.

  12. Naomi says:

    Araaaaaghhhhh! My–er–crib (she types, trying not to sound like a nerd herself) is smack dab in the middle of Microsoftland–I can only take so many references per day!!!!

    McTacos on the otherhand…fantastic.

    But what I really want to know more about is the inflatable girlfriend. Prey tell, what would you name her?

  13. Dave2 says:

    Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

  14. Yum!

    I’m SO hungry for a McTaco now.

  15. Chelz says:

    Bill Gates is living proof that there is an extremely thin line between intelligence and insanity.

  16. Naomi says:

    mmmm… Buffy… Huzzah.

  17. Belinda says:

    You really talk about tacos a lot, you know?

  18. ChillyWilly says:

    Oh those Golden Grahams… Oh those Golden Grahams…

    Burger King sells tacos.. two for 99 cents. They are total crap. Not sure if a McTaco would be any better… although if they fried it in the same grease as their fries… hmmmmmm

    As for the Billy come lately debacle, I’d really like to see Bill put his ego aside and spend some money to support current standards instead of always trying to create new ones. The CD was a great standard and pretty everyone supported it.

    Sure, MP3 is a wide supported format, but it’s not DRM’able. So either dump all DRM (not likely, although we can dream, can’t we?) and go with MP3 as the supported format or license the most popular (and best sounding, IMO) DRM format – AAC.

    I agree with you, Dave. Bill needs to stop playing catch up and just focus on creating one standard.

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