A while back while I was waiting in the Miami airport, there were two young ladies in the seats behind me who were discussing diets.
Well, maybe it was the Ft. Lauderdale airport.
But probably the Miami airport.
Anyway, while I was in a FLORIDA airport, these two girls were discussing diets...
Anonymous Girl 1: I want to try that liquid diet, but you have to go to a doctor to get it.
Anonymous Girl 2: You don't need a doctor! That's just Slim-Fast!
Anonymous Girl 1: No it's not. I tried Slim-Fast and it doesn't work.
Anonymous Girl 2: Really? My friend lost 20 pounds on the Slim-Fast diet!
Anonymous Girl 1: Nope. Didn't work for me. I drank it with my breakfast and drank it with my lunch for a week just like they said and nothing happened.
Anonymous Girl 2: You idiot! You're not supposed to drink it WITH your meal... you're supposed to drink it INSTEAD of a meal.
Anonymous Girl 1: Huh?!? What kind of stupid plan is that?
This was yet another example of people using a product wrong, then blaming said product when it doesn't work properly... all because they failed to read the instructions. With a can of Slim-Fast, it's not really a big deal. But you can't say the same for other things. Like filling out your ballot when voting in Florida, for instance.
Anyway, this morning I was dumping my usual load of spam from my email inbox and ran across something a little different. It was spam from a law firm encouraging you to hire them if you had suffered damages from misunderstanding the instructions that came a product you purchased. So I guess this means that the dumbass who didn't read the instructions on her can of Slim-Fast can call them up and sue for a couple million dollars or something? Emotional distress and all that?
If this kind of stupid crap actually works, it makes me wonder exactly how far companies will go to avoid lawsuits in the future. Will we soon have ten-page instruction booklets included with a bar of soap so that soap companies won't be sued for a million dollars when some idiot gets suds in their eyes? I mean, we've already got jars of peanuts that say "WARNING! THIS PRODUCT CONTAINS PEANUTS!" — how much worse can it get?
I don't think I want to know the answer to that.
I weep for the future.
BLOGOGRAPHY FLASHBACK ENTRY: Barbie.
BLOGDATE: July 12, 2005
In which Dave gets the crap scared out of him when he discovers the horrors of child beauty pageants, and decides to see what celebrity he looks like when manipulated in Photoshop to become a dead hooker baby.
Click here to go back in time...