Apparently I am going to be one of those people who dribble food all over and wet themselves when I get older.
I know this because the slow decline has already begun.
This morning I had to change my shirt three times before I made it to work. THREE TIMES! First I dribbled strawberry jam on my shirt while I was having toast for breakfast. Then I dribbled Cinnamon Sparkle Crest on my shirt while brushing my teeth. Then I got dirt all over my shirt as I was cleaning off my car...
It was as if the universe itself was conspiring against me.
Unbeknownst to the universe, however, is the fact that I have a never-ending supply of Bad Monkey T-Shirts in size medium. TAKE THAT UNIVERSE!
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It happens to the best of us! At least you changed your shirt! I would have just said, “Oh well” and kept on going.
Hmm. I’d suggest reordering your morning activities, but I’m sure by Murphy’s law that would only mean something new would find its way to your shirt.
Good luck tomorrow!
On the plus side, you’ve pushed your mental age back a couple years by using a toothpaste that has the word Sparkle in the title. So, at least you’ll be lucid when you’re dribbling all over yourself and wetting your Depends 🙂
That’s why I only use Colgate Total. Since it is white, when I spill it onto my t-shirt, I can just rub it in and no one ever notices. I also get a lot of compliments about my “minty” cologne.
I’m sure you dont want to hear this, but you’re turning into my dad. Not a meal goes by…
I don’t know that I’d have two additional clean shirts to fall back on if I were to get the first one dirty.
As long as I don’t start crapping my pants, I think I can live with messy T-shirts and wet trousers.
Has anyone ever told you brush your teeth with what appears to be blood? You vampire you.
😉
Yes, that’s what I need. I was just thinking the other day what do I need to make my life better, more complete. A never ending supply of my bad monkey shirt. That will do.
Hey, just be happy you caught the stains before heading out. My luck dictates that I would overlook it entirely until that wonderful social-faux-pas moment dictates that everyone in the room would see it. But that’s my luck.
maybe you should NOT change your shirt, so you can dirty it with jam, peanut butter (i love peanut butter & jam sandwiches), dirt, grime, or whatever.. so that at the end of the day, you only wash ONE dirty shirt! then you can have MORE clean bad monkey shirts to wear for the rest of the week! brilliance. 🙂
I’m with Kevin (or Kermit?) on this one. I’m guilty of forgetting that I messed something up and that it needs to go to the dry cleaner, then my housekeeper hangs it up and I’ll wear it later on with the stain! Reeeee-tallllll-did.
Dave, I know just what you need. I saw this awesome advertisement for a product that’s aimed at fixing just the problem you’ve discussed. It’s called “Shirt In A Can”, and it’s outstanding. Just remove your dirty shirt and spray on your “Shirt In A Can”, and you’re done! Brilliant! Sorry, I don’t know where to order it. :-/
Shirt in a can? Forget that… I want PANTS IN A CAN!! Woohoo!
I just love that there is a personal hygeine product in your home called “Cinnamon Sparkle.” It makes you more like a girlfriend, because that is totally something we would have named our imaginary ponies when we were 9.
My solution to this problem is a closetful of multicolored PRINT shirts. I simply cannot eat a meal without dribbling down my front. Wish I could blame it on encroaching age, but I’ve always been this way. I prefer to blame my always-in-the-way boobs, but I guess that excuse won’t work for you, huh?
Dave I don’t think it’s age related. When I was about sixteen, there was as six week period when I literally couldn’t take a drink of anything without spilling it on myself – it was ridiculous.
Speaking of ridiculous – I tried to get a picture of me wearing my Bad Monkey teeshirt (which is awesomely comfy), but it looked too atrocious to ever be sent to anyone. C’est.
Happy Thanksgiving.