Target! My favorite chain store is Target. When forced to shop in person (=shudder=), I will always check Target first, because it is the least offensive option available. But their latest round of "back to school" commercials featuring young kids bouncing around to Sir Mix-A-Lot's Baby Got Back is just wrong. I don't care if they change the lyrics, all I hear is "I like big butts and I can not lie..." while little girls are prancing on the screen. It just feels dirty somehow. Scary, scary stuff.
Arrrgh! Told you I would cave. I managed to win a copy of Sid Meier's Pirates Xbox on eBay for just $30 + $5 shipping. That's $5 more than I wanted to pay, but more tolerable than the $45 I'd have to pay new. I. Can't. Wait.
Rockstar! I loathe American Idol and most other reality-type shows on television... but the new Rock Star: INXS is an exception. Mainly because unlike Idol where everybody sucks ass... the performers on INXS are actually pretty good. Right now, the person who should win is Jordis, who totally killed last night. But reality tells me it will probably be J.D. or Mig. Regardless of who ends up with the job, some of these people have a real shot in the biz.
Charity! I am a soft-touch for lending a hand to local causes. I'm happy to design a logo or make a brochure or draw up a banner if I can spare the time (and the cause is one I support). A while back I designed a logo for a worthy organization and sent it in. Turns out everybody loved it except one woman... who thought it was satanic because I had used a tiger giving the "a-okay" hand-sign in it. She complained that animals in the form of humans are a perversion, and tools of the devil. Yes, you read that right... according to this whack-job, all those characters from Bugs Bunny and Mickey Mouse to Kermit the Frog and Garfield are from the devil. Still no word on whether robots are from hell as well, but I'll be sure to ask.
Dove! I was given a hand-full of little Dove Chocolates that have interesting phrases printed on the inside of the wrappers. Most of them are just happy thoughts, like "Get your feet massaged!" and "Smile before bed, you'll sleep better!" but others are quite disturbing. When I read wrappers that say "Naughty can feel nice!" and "Do what feels right!"... well, that could be just the thing to push some psycho over the edge. What if "what feels right" is to run over a group of lawyers with a lawnmower? I mean, no big loss really, but still... things like this can't be good for society.
Zero! As I've mentioned many times, I spend my days all coked up on "Coke with Lime." While picking up a couple of bottles at the mini-mart this morning, I was agog over the number of Coke varieties out there... Coke, Diet Coke, Coke C2, Coke with Splenda, Coke Zero, Coke with Lime, Diet Coke with Lime, Diet Coke with Lemon, Cherry Coke, Diet Cherry Coke, Vanilla Coke, Diet Vanilla Coke, Caffeine-Free Diet Coke, and probably a dozen others I've forgotten (Coke with Beef Jerky? Kumquat Coke?). Pepsi has just as many. This is kind of sad, because this flooding of flavors means that niche products like "RC Cola" and "Orange Crush" don't have room on the shelf, and are disappearing from our American way of life. I suppose that's the idea, but there should be a law against this kind of monopolizing of store shelf-space. Because sometimes you just need that Orange Crush, if you know what I mean.
Trash! The nice thing about living in small-town USA is the little white-trash touches that flavor our community. Every morning as I drive to work, I pass by an Espresso stand that's directly across the street from a trailer court. It's not unusual to see people walk across the street to pick up their morning latte before sitting in front of the television all day. What IS unusual is seeing these people walking across to get their latte while still in their pajamas. This morning was classic, because I saw a woman in a bathrobe and slippers... but as she crossed in front of me, the bathrobe blew up and revealed she didn't even bother to put pants on. Even more disturbing, was that she was so focused on not spilling her latte that she didn't bother to cover herself back up. Ordinarily this would be a great way to start my day... but with this woman... eh... not so much.
Ah, there. I feel much better now that I've unloaded my morning. But the day is just starting... heaven only knows what is in store for me the rest of the day.