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Bullshit

Posted on Wednesday, July 27th, 2005

Dave!Make no mistake about it... Adobe is evil and must be destroyed.

Ever since upgrading my "Adobe Creative Suite" to version 2, I've been plagued with problems. And since 99% of the work I do is in CS apps (Photoshop, Illustrator, GoLive, and InDesign) this is a seriously big deal. Most of the problems are just annoyances that hinder my productivity. But a few of the problems are so mind-staggeringly critical, that my work abruptly comes to a halt and there doesn't seem to be any way around it.

Case in point: A typeface that I use every single day is "Helvetica Black." Look at any US food product and where you see the words "NUTRITION FACTS" - that's Helvetica Black. It's everywhere in everything I do. But it no longer works in Adobe Illustrator CS2. The font doesn't load and won't appear. It works perfectly in CS1, but CS2 refuses to acknowledge it. So I go to the Adobe KnowledgeBase and find a document telling me that some fonts won't load if they are too old, and the solution is to purchase a font upgrade.

But there is really no such thing as a font "upgrade" because there is no upgrade discount at all. It simply means that you have to purchase all new fonts. Which is quite a scam when you think about it. How do you get people to buy fonts they already own? Just make the fonts they purchased not work anymore! Genius!

So I go spend hundreds of dollars to buy those same fonts (AGAIN) only to find out that there is a bug in Illustrator that prevents replacing old document fonts with new versions. This pretty much sucks, because it means that I am forced to change each and every occurrence manually... which adds up to hours of extra work.

Since I am on a deadline, I call Adobe Technical Support.

The operator tells me that I need to have a credit card ready to pay for support. When I ask how come I don't get complimentary support for a new product purchase, I'm told that it's up to the support specialist to decide that. When I ask how come I have to pay to get support for a bug in their program, I'm told that it's up to the support specialist. Well, whatever, so I ask to be connected to a support specialist.

"Sure, can I get your serial number?" the operator asks.

"Errr... here's the number from the 'About Box' - is that what you want?" I reply.

"NO! That's only the first 20 digits... I need all 24 digits. You'll have to get it from your CD case" he tells me.

"Uhh... I don't have my case with me..." I say.

"Well, you'll just have to go get it and call back... it's for YOUR protection" the operator responds.

Bullshit.

f#@%ING BULLSHIT!!

MY protection? How is this for MY protection? You want to protect me... how about telling me how to fix your f#@%ing program so I can protect MY JOB?!? I've owned every version of Adobe Illustrator ever made. I've purchased every upgrade ever released. I bought my CS2 upgrade DIRECTLY FROM ADOBE... yet they still insist on acting like I've stole their program, and won't help me. I mean, WHAT THE f#@%?? Do they honestly expect for their customers to drag their packaging with them wherever they go? This is the stupidest shit I've ever heard in my life. I mean if they are so f#@%ing paranoid about somebody copying my precious serial number, what is to keep me from scrawling it on the front my PowerBook in permanent marker for the entire world to see?

Companies have got to stop treating their customers like criminals. Because right now, I don't give a f#@% about Adobe. What's the point in spending money for their bug-ridden shit when they won't help you get around THEIR errors? Why should I bother to pay them for something when their first instinct is to believe I stole it? If I am going to be treated like a criminal that's unworthy of their support, then why not just take the next step and actually steal a copy of the program?

Congratulations you stupid Adobe f#@%s, you've just destroyed a 20 year relationship with a loyal customer.

But why should I expect different? They're going to buy Macromedia and have a total monopoly on creative content software. There's nobody else out there, so you'll be forced to buy Adobe whether you want to or not. And if you have no choice in the matter, why should they give a flying f#@% about anything or anybody?

Well that's just fine... but don't expect your customers to feel any different about you. Burn in hell you Adobe ass-wipes.


Categories: DaveLife 2005Click To It: Permalink
   

Comments

  1. Mark says:

    hmm…think i will stick with my CS1 a while, working fine. I feel your pain though, i still have an Illustrator bug when printing to my HP color printer that means i have to scale everything 98% to get it to print at the right size.

    fun S*#†

  2. Kevin says:

    Well, I guess it’s a good thing I haven’t upgraded from Photoshop 7 and Illustrator 10.

    Sorry to hear it’s such a problem, but thanks for the warning. Not that it helps you much in your current situation, but…

    When you do take that roadtrip to Adobe headquarters, give me a call. I’m willing to help. I love using the software, but their oversensitivity in terms of security is killing me.

  3. delmer says:

    Just after MS started making folks activate XP I had to reinstall the OS — a day after I’d initially installed it and activated it.

    I wasn’t able to activate online as I’d done so just the previous day (I may have changed a HD or something during the day that passed). Anyway I called MS and spoke with a guy there … he had a tone to his voice that all but accused me of trying to steal a copy of XP.

    I had access to the crack for XP, via a friend. If I wanted to steal the software I never would have called. I didn’t think it was in anybodys interest to mention that, however.

    We keep all of our software legal here — that’s part of my job. But sometimes the software companies make it hard to really care about them.

  4. Dave2 says:

    My biggest problem is that they treated me so casually.

    I’m not asking how to find the key to rescue the princess for some stupid video game… I am asking for a work-around to THEIR bug that’s keeping me from WORK. You know, that activity that puts food on my table?

    They need to start taking things more seriously, and realize that people rely on their shit to make a living… it’s not a toy.

  5. Chuck says:

    Very interesting stuff. A couple of hours ago I did a Google search looking for alternatives to several of the Adobe products. Frankly, I’m backing away from all their products. Their annoying way of treating their customers has reached a critical mass in my case. If they’re smart, rather than just arrogant, they’ll listen up to these types of messages.

  6. Rob says:

    Give me a break!

    You call a software company about an issue with their program, then you get upset when you don’t have the serial # at the ready.

    I aggree that your issues with Illustrator CS2 suck. But you can’t be mad just because they asked for your serial # and you didn’t have it or the CD case of the product in question ready.

    I don’t think they treated you more casually then anyone. Just because you’ve been using the products for years, they’re going to treat you like a prince?

  7. Dave2 says:

    Well, somebody from Adobe was bound to show up here and refute this… especially once they started calling me. Thanks for not disappointing me “Rob.”

    I did have the serial number… it was in the About Box (where Adobe has been putting it for decades). But the About box truncated the serial number. I HAD NO WAY OF KNOWING THIS!! NONE!!! Otherwise I would have copied the serial number to a text file and emailed it to myself when I installed the program. They could at least give the customer a warning that the About Box will NOT display the entire serial number (as it has in the past) so the customer can be prepared.

    99% of the software out there displays the serial number in the About Box. Why is Adobe truncating it? Especially when I will (obviously) put the serial number on my laptop so I don’t have to travel with a bunch of CD cases (which, apparently, is what Adobe wants you to do, for no good reason that I can see).

    You are missing the big picture here… I was being refused service because of four digits. It didn’t matter that I had made the purchase direct from Adobe. It didn’t matter that I had registered the program. They would not give assistance to a paying customer for a bug in THEIR program because of THEIR inexplicable logic in not putting the entire serial number in the About Box. That is not good customer service, and I find it surprising that you are so blind that you can’t see it.

    You punish the people who steal from you, not the people who are your customers. If your system is so f#@&ed up that innocent people are treated like criminals, then it’s time to get a new system. THE CUSTOMER COMES FIRST!! Well, not at Adobe, but many places.

  8. adobe customer service says:

    I used to work in adobe customer service. inside of photoshop, indesign, illustrator, etc. if you go to the help —-> registration, it’ll bring you to online registration, after continuing, you’ll see the full serial number. don’t think it works on volume licensed copies though.

    to make this as short and simple as possible, adobe outsources for more than just saving money. their products over-take their competitors. with the take-over of macromedia, they’re at the top. they couldn’t care any less. Adobe and Microsoft…very similar. their customer service has always been treating people like they don’t matter. btw, they also hire people with criminal records, there’s a girl there that’s been in jail for 5 years for attempted murder (no joke). those are kinds of people they’re hiring because the outsource company pays such low wages. 8.50-9.00/hr. Other call centers pay at least $10.50. I can say that I’ve stopped caring about how the customers felt.
    you’re on the phone all day, most of the time people complaining about giving their credit card information (understandable, and sometimes people threatening to sue just you..which i laugh at now because they can take action, but hit a road block when they find out Adobe outsources), but after months and months of that, you start to desensitize and your mind adjusts and you stop caring. it’s not an excuse, but that’s what’s happening.
    if adobe cared enough, they’d have an in-house callcenter, not some other crappy company taking all the complaints and hits. their outsource company is just a shield..or bug deflector.
    If you look at adobe’s sales first quarter, Adobe made $49.6 million more compared to last years first quarter of fiscal year 2004, so they’re in the money despite always having bad customer service. they know for a fact that eventually, everyone will be on adobe products. they just have to keep on buying out other companies.
    for example, pagemaker used to belong to aldus corp., pagemaker is being discontinued and the standard will now be indesign. adobe bought out jetforms and used their technology and threw it into acrobat. same thing with macromedia. you can’t stop them and they know that.
    sorta of a kick in the nuts.

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