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Posted on Wednesday, July 27th, 2005

Dave!After a grueling day at work (thank you Adobe!) I have a grueling night of work ahead of me. It wouldn't suck so much except that I've got some great DVD rentals that I've been wanting to watch. I also would like to make ice cream a few times before summer is over. Homemade ice cream on a hot summer day kicks ass. Waaah.

I found this meme over at The Shape of Days, though it will be tough to top Jeff's answers... 

Five things I'd like never to do again:

  1. Use a Windows-based PC.
  2. Watch FOX News.
  3. Date a psychotic bitch.
  4. Hear bad news.
  5. Eat natto.

Five things I've lost that I'd like to have back:

  1. My best friend.
  2. Reality-free television.
  3. My pre-dot-com-implosion income level.
  4. Adobe customer support.
  5. Hope for the future.

Five things you can totally have for a song if you make me the right offer:

  1. My piece of shit Panasonic DVD recorder.
  2. My piece of shit Panasonic cordless phone.
  3. My piece of shit copy of Microsoft Windows XP.
  4. My piece of shit Dell Inspiron PC.
  5. My endorsement of your product or service.

Five people to whom I owe apologies:

  1. Elizabeth Hurley.
  2. Elizabeth Hurley's kid.
  3. Elizabeth Hurley's fiance.
  4. Elizabeth Hurley's extended family.
  5. Oscar.

Five people who can totally lick my balls:

  1. Jared Fogel.
  2. Judge Judy.
  3. Ann Coulter, everybody at FOX News, and the entire Bush administration.
  4. Whoever canceled Jeremy Piven's Cupid and subsequently refuses to release it on DVD.
  5. Elizabeth Hurley's fiance (though I wouldn't refuse Elizabeth Hurley herself, if she was so inclined).

Argh. It's been five days and I still haven't unpacked my suitcase. I should really do that before the clean underwear runs out. It's too hot and sweaty to be going commando. Bleh. One more thing I have to do.

Movie Quotable of the Day: "It knows only that it needs, Commander. But, like so many of us, it does not know what."
Yesterday's Answer: Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me (1992) with Sheryl Lee and Peggy Lipton.

Categories: Memes 2006Click To It: Permalink


  1. Troy says:

    Hey throw that legitimate copy of Windows XP my way!!! Then I can start downloading not security related updates without the threat of big brother squealing on me 🙂

  2. habitatgirl says:

    You now are officially my favorite blog. I don’t know what it says about me, but the crabbier you are, the more I enjoy reading you. Keep up the bad attitude.

  3. karla says:

    Well, the obvious cure for your no clean underwear/too hot to go commando issue, is to have one of your ball lickers come along and…oh never mind.
    You and I should have a rant-off. I swear, I have been so cranky lately, I’d really like to tell everyone in the world except my mom to eff off already.
    I really think it’s about time we take over, Dave. Evil Overlords Unite! First stop in world dominion…kill those bastards at Nextgentel!

  4. Rane says:

    Why do you not like Fox news and Ann Coulter?
    Wouldn’t be because they expose the liberal lefties for what they are now would it?
    Now, if you, for example, believe that Mikhail Boores Fahrtenshite 911 is real history I know where you can get some help.
    Jeez, no wonder you’re pissed… and the last election, whoa baby…
    Well I’m no fan of GW Bush either but it was fun seeing all those over bloated arses who lied, said stupid things and basically demonstrated…their good at that…why they can’t be allowed to run the country. What we got was a choice between dumb and dumber – dumb won.

    So, this blog thing is wonderful and I gotta thank you for accepting comments and making it easy to post a comment, righteous, very righteous. Most want you to sign up…boring. Everyone on the internet wants you to sign up for something…tedious, boring.

    Good job, keep up the good work, it’s a neat blog. There are some really hot picks of Elizabeth Hurley on the net by the way. Just Google her. Oh, you may want to know how I ended up here; I Googled “XP is a piece of shit”.


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