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Ham

Posted on Saturday, June 11th, 2005

Dave!I went and saw Mr. & Mrs. Smith today, and it has to be the most entertaining movie I've seen this year. It also has the highest body count. Angelina Jolie was stunningly hot, and this was the first role since 12 Monkeys that Brad Pitt has done that I've enjoyed (a pleasant surprise). The only problem was the ending, which fell a little flat, but getting there was so good that I didn't much care. I am embarrassed to admit that I am secretly hoping for a sequel. I could watch Angelina Jolie blow stuff up and shoot people for hours. I could especially watch her shoot the dumbass behind me WHO MADE A MOBILE PHONE CALL DURING THE MOVIE!!

Whenever you think you've seen the ultimate depths of human rudeness, somebody comes along to prove you wrong. One day that idiot is going to end up with his mobile phone deeply impacted into his ass. That would rule.

My love and addiction for Kitty Spangles Solitaire is well documented. But Kitty and I drifted apart after I upgraded to MacOS X Tiger, because she refused to play anymore. I had forgotten about it, but then Swoop released a Kitty upgrade, so I wrote and got a working serial number and she's all better now. There's a few improvements in the new version. One option is that a pig comes out and tells you when there are no more moves...

The Pig!

It's great at first. You don't waste any time running through a deck when there's no cards you can play. But after a while, all I want to do is bake that little ham when he comes on and tells me I'm a loser. That's pretty drastic considering I'm a vegetarian...

Ham!

Mmmmmm... bacon!

Movie Quotable of the Day: "Wouldn't this be a great world if insecurity and desperation made us more attractive?"
Yesterday's Answer: American Pie (1999) with Jason Biggs and Seann William Scott.

Categories: Apple Stuff 2005, Movies 2005Click To It: Permalink
   

Comments

  1. kazza says:

    ooo are you doing a roast pork?!? I’ll be on the next plane over lol

    I had a dream about Brad Pitt last night. I dreamt I almost slept with him except I didn’t want to get pregnant. Which I thought was a strange dream to have, since I have no real interest in the dude :)

  2. Ben says:

    Hehe – the day where you admit bacons greatness has finally come! Woopppp!

  3. a says:

    Rude movie-goers are my bete-noir. Once, when Tim Burton’s “Sleepy Hollow” came out, these people brought their five-year-old child with them who was completely freaked out by the whole decapitation theme. Then, the father-dude had the nerve to answer three phone calls & reply really really loudly in Portugese. It was as though we were on Candid Camera, but no one was laughing.

    Also, Angelina Jolie looks hot in any movie. I’m trying to think…*hourglass*… nope, I’ve never seen her not look hot. And I’m a chick. And I’m not gay. She’s just super hot.

  4. Michelle says:

    I concur! (also female and definitely not gay).

  5. girlonaglide says:

    We’ve all seen what you can do to no-good-doers in a movie theatre! Did you have your wand with you?? Does the pig have a name? I loved scrolling down to that little surprise and tasty morsel of pig-on-a-platter!

    Hey a and Michelle: sure, you say you’re not gay. Most of us here are part gay, we tested for confirmation.

  6. Dave2 says:

    Oh yeah… I had forgotten about that!
    http://www.blogography.com/archives/2005/04/logan.html

    Interestingly enough, I think even the part of me that’s 20% gay is lusting after Angelina Jolie. She crosses sexuality borders. The beauty of this is that every guy in a relationship can hold out hope for a threesome so long as Angelina Jolie is alive.

    By the way, the pig’s name is Ferdiham, and I think it’s already been established that he’s 100% gay. It’s sweet honey-baked ham, dahling!!

  7. Michelle says:

    Ok just took the test…I’m 26% gay! Y’know, my boyfriend used to tell me I was a lesbian so I said one day, “well if I am you’ve got problems”. His reply was, “not necessarily” !! Again…P’ah. Men… =P

  8. Peggy Archer says:

    The Pig’s probably “Wheat Meat” anyways, so you can totally eat him, Dave.

    He’d probably like it, though.

    I think it’d be funnier if the pig talked like Samuel L. Jackson in “Pulp Fiction”.

    “No more moves.. Let me read to you from the Bible..”

  9. ISA says:

    What is this crazy gay test u guys tried out?!? sounds pretty interesting… oh and i like the little piggy, thought it was really cute how u drew urself eating the poor little guy…

  10. karla says:

    I still have you all beat with my 50%. And yeah, AJ might be the only woman I would EVER consider for a threesome.
    Sheesh, can’t beleive I just wrote that.

    Cute roast pig, though how do you eat pig tail? Suck on it like an artichoke? Ew.

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