I am so cool.
When I left work this afternoon, I ran into a guy and his young son looking at my motorcycle. This is nothing new. I look out my office window and see people inspecting my ride all the time. It's just unique enough... just cool enough looking... to attract attention. The guy asked me the standard bevy of questions, but it was his kid's query that made my day...
Kid: Can you fly a plane too?
Dave: Ha! No. I can jump out of a plane with a parachute though.
Kid: Wow! You're just like James Bond!
Yes. That's me. Just like James Bond.
Except I smell funny.
But this is not my fault. I switched to GAIN "Cotton Fresh" Touch of Softness laundry detergent, and now I smell like I've been doused in pesticides. I don't smell cotton fresh at all. Looking back, I should have known better. I mean, what exactly does fresh cotton smell like anyway? Oh well. I wonder if since I smell like bug spray if this means I don't have to worry about being attacked by packs of wild cockroaches.
And after a liberating bike ride out in the beautiful sunshine, I'm home to work some more. But within a few minutes, I get a call on iChat...
Reagent: Whatcha doin?
Dave: Watching TV and working.
Reagent: Watcha watchin?
Dave: I dunno... some kind of home improvement show. Two guys are remodeling their house or something. I'm not paying that much attention, it's just background noise.
Reagent: Two guys? Together? Quick, write a letter and boycott the network!
Dave: Hey! Why do you assume they're gay? They might be brothers or cousins or roommates or something!
Reagent: Are they hot?
Dave: WHAT? How in the hell would I know that? They're just guys. Hey... they're Mac users!!
Reagent: Oh yeah... they're gay alright.
And here I was worried that I wouldn't have anything to write about today.
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mars attacks maybe?
I like the Arm and Hammer baking soda detergent.. it smells really good, and it’s cheap.
If I’ve got money to burn, I’ll buy the super expensive lavender scented stuff at Whole Foods.
Being a James Bond is awesome alright…but depends on which James Bond…I would pick the young Sean Conery of course…it would fit u way better than the Roger Moore look anyways.
Smell funny? Like a clown? (sorry, old joke.)
Have you got pics of your bike?
Hmmm…If Dave’s James Bond, it’s definitely Brosnan. Connery was a bit of a hardass, but Brosnan was the kind of Bond who had that incredible sense of glee whenever he was playing with the rocket launchers on his car. That’s Dave’s Bond – KNOWING he has the coolest toys and lovin ’em.
no its Sean Conery for Dave, plus the Brosnan movies arent worth being called James Bond movies
Ugh! They are! The Brosnanananana ones were the best. Then again I should probably remain patriotic and go for Connery. I hear Orlando Bloom is supposed to be playing a young Bond in the new movie, whenever that is.
Yep, Kazza got it… Mars Attacks! it is. I love that movie, and have no idea why it wasn’t more popular than it was. 🙁
I’ll have to remember “Arm & Hammer” – I usually just grab whatever is on sale. Except Tide. I won’t use Tide.
Heh heh heh… do I have photos of my bike? Why yes Anthony, I do! here’s one: https://blogography.com/archives/2003/07/my_new_ride.html
Since ANY of the Bonds are far cooler than I… it doesn’t much matter to me which one people want me to be! I think Connery is my favorite Bond, but my favorite Bond movie (“For Your Eyes Only”) starred Roger Moore. I don’t think I’ll get a better compliment than that… ever. 🙂
it was a completely nutty movie 🙂 all star cast, most of which they killed off 🙂
Just ran across your site and wanted to stop by and say that you’re a funny guy