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Posted on Monday, May 9th, 2005

Dave!Subtlety is not one of my strong points.

And, since I don't feel bad about that, I'd guess that "guilt" isn't one of them either. Of course, if you've read this blog long enough, then you already knew that (and I'd apologize but, well, you know...). Sadly, 99.9% of the people on this earth don't read Blogography, and have absolutely no idea what they're getting into when they decide to screw with me (I'd attempt to be more understanding about that but, ahem, you see...).

Anyway, when I was at the grocery store last night to buy some packaging tape, I ran into a friend of mine. As I was leaving, I ran into another old friend, and struck up a conversation with her that was rudely interrupted half-way through:


Her: Jeez, how much longer do you think this war is going to go on?

Me: Well, they estimate that the oil reserves in Iraq will last about 40 to 50 years, so I'm guessing it will go on for about 40 to 50 years.

Her: Don't even joke about that.

Me: Huh... I wish I were, and I hope I'm wrong.

Anonymous Bitch: That's just liberal propaganda!

Me: Err... who are you and when did you join this conversation?

Anonymous Bitch: You shouldn't believe everything you hear.

Me: Me? What abou- Oh go watch an episode of FOX News and shut the f#@% up.


In my fantasy dream-sequence, the dumbass bitch then breaks out in tears, starts sobbing uncontrollably, and then begs my forgiveness for having the audacity to interrupt me. Sadly, this does not happen, and I have to settle for an impudent "hmph" as she trots her hefty NeoCon ass out of my sight.

Which begs the question... exactly when did common courtesy become passé? When did it become acceptable to interrupt the conversation of a complete stranger? And at what point am I going to be allowed to bitch-slap these idiots without risk of being sued?

Movie Quotable of the Day: "Eat recycled food! Recycled food is good for the environment... and okay for you!"
Yesterday's Answer: Clueless (1995) with Alicia Silverstone and Brittany Murphy.

Categories: DaveLife 2005Click To It: Permalink


  1. Aravis says:

    Unfortunately it will probably never be safe to do so. I find that the people in the world who most strenuously need bitch slapping are the ones who will most likely sue if you give in to their provocation.

    Take a picture of them instead. That will both unnerve them and give you the satisfaction of throwing darts at their startled likeness later. Or whatever you feel like doing to their image. It is, after all, your choice at that point. :0)

  2. TheMike says:

    Seems like when it comes to politics, people think that your open discussion of it is an invite for them to spew their opinions all over it.

  3. Rob says:

    Dave, you are becoming my hero. Do you own a cape? See, when I speak out like that in public I normally get smacked. Not by the receiver of the bitch out, but by my lady friend if she is present.

    Movie quote: Judge Dread – food robot in hall

  4. karla says:

    Dave, I think maybe we just attract rude people. I say we take out the guns and just start mowing them down…..
    OK, not really, but why do people have to act like that? WHY?

  5. Chris says:

    Whilst I know little about rude people, only that they are annoying, I do know that todays movie quote comes from the awful Judge Dredd film that I wish I had never seen (speaking as a Judge Dredd fan).

  6. Art says:

    “exactly when did common courtesy become passé?” Maybe when protests and sit-ins started up and people started thinking that their point of view gave them license to disrupt whatever they wanted? Now it’s just on an individual level. You should have started the tradition here and “happy slapped” her. Or perhaps a crippling was in order? Yes I say a crippling!

  7. Uncle Horns says:

    As far as common courtesy becoming passe, that’s a product of the blue/red divide that is our country, I’ve witnessed the behavior you describe from both sides. Political passion knows little courtesy.

    Chivalry can battle this (especially when I want to tell a Fristy to shove it). Once or twice a day I hold the door for the person (M or F) who is just a little to far away for you to do it comfortably and keep moving. The recipient of this kind gesture will appreciate it and you’ll have done a good deed.

  8. Dave2 says:

    That’s it… I’m moving to England! Apparently you get to BOTH bitch-slap AND take a photo! My kind of country! Though I hope I can find a pair of slapping gloves at Harvey Nicks so as not to chafe my hands from a long day of slapping people.

    But, theMike, when I want somebody’s opinion, I will kindly slap it out of them! Thus saving these people of rudeness from a much-deserved slapping! Oh… wait a second… that doesn’t quite work out there does it?

    And yes Rob, indeed I do own a cape. A nice black, floor-length jobber. But it’s the one I use at night when stalking prey, so I don’t know if it would feel right to wear it for slapping in the daylight hours.

    Karla, I think it’s more to the point that we attract all kinds of people… it’s just the rude ones we remember?

    I have mixed feelings on Judge Dredd. I am a huge fan of the comic, but realize that it would have probably never been made if Stallone’s name wasn’t attached. I think it could have been good if they had stayed more faithful to the books (but I suppose that you couldn’t leave Dredd all covered in his helmet for the entire movie if you paid 20 million for Stallone’s face?).

    Gee Art… I prefer to save cripplings for people who drive slow in the passing lane. It seems a bit… extreme… to use it for a rude intrusion into a conversation. Or does it?

    I always, always, always hold the door for people Uncle Horns! It’s how I was brought up. But I was also brought up not to intrude in other people’s conversations, so I don’t know what to make of that.

  9. Culture Clash says:

    Hey Dave,
    First of all, let me tell you that Blogography has turned into my morning addiction while drinking my cofee with Benito my dog. So thanks!

    Second, I’ve taken some time to think about this. Even though this has nothing to do with the nosy freaks in your country but anyways, I believe you could do foreign rudeness crime fighting…You can begin here in Tijuana, Mexico where men grab my ass and scream naughty things to anybody and everybody.

    You see, then you can go home incognito, not get sued and will have made a lot of mexican and one french woman happy!


  10. Dave2 says:

    Errr. that could work.

    Except the last time I was in Tijuana I got so drunk that I barely remember how I crossed back over the border. I sure hope that I wasn’t one of the people grabbing your ass and yelling obscenities at you!

    Ooooh. I just bitch-slapped myself… just in case.

  11. delmer says:


    If you make it to Columbus before the 9-year old soccer league ends you’ve got to come to one of my kid’s games. There are some things that need to be said to some insane parents.

    Anyway. I see these people all the time and can’t really tell too many of them to “shut the f*ck up and let your kid try to have some fun.” — though, it is the Catholic School league, and we Catholics aren’t afraid to drop the F-bomb when needed.

    How’s that exploding head thing coming?

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