Blogography Logo
spacer

  Home  

Banana

Posted on Wednesday, May 11th, 2005

Dave!As I feared, I got no sleep last night. Nada. Zip. Zero. So as I sit here taking a quick break so I can mainline my fourth "Coke with Lime" so I can stay awake, I'm trying to remember when I switched back from Pepsi to Coke. I'm pretty sure that it's when they unleashed the delicious "Coke with Lime" thing, though now Pepsi has a lime-flavored product as well, so I'm not sure.

I started out as a Coke drinker from way back, but when Apartheid came to the forefront of public consciousness, I switched to Pepsi because Coke was still sponsoring events in Sun City. I'm still a little bitter about that, but "Coke with Lime" is pretty tasty.

Oh yeah... the rest of this entry originally appears as a guest blogger entry over at DOWN WITH PANTS!. It's got Thai hookers and monkeys in it, so there's guaranteed something for everyone!

I am slightly obsessed with monkeys. I find them to be fascinating creatures... one moment they are doing something so brilliant that you believe that they really are our evolutionary cousins... then the next minute they are throwing poop at you. It's kind of a lifestyle to be envious of, if you want to know the truth. I've lost count of the number of times I've wanted to throw my poop at somebody and be able to get away with it.

This is not, however, a toss-the-poop kind of story, so feel free to continue reading.

A while back my brother and I decided to go to Thailand for thrilling adventures involving cheap hookers and great Thai food. But before we left, our father decided to scare the crap out of us with the HIV infection statistics of Thai working girls. This meant that we were suddenly left with a gaping hole in our schedule, and a lot of extra time on our hands that we weren't planning on.

Eventually we decided to take a flight to Southern Thailand so we could see Phuket and the surrounding area. This included the very, very cool Phang Nga (aka "James Bond Island") which was used in "The Man With the Golden Gun." It also included a trip to a hidden Buddhist Temple which was "guarded" by thousands of monkeys. For less than a quarter, you could by bunches of bananas to feed the little guys, which was also very cool, since they would come right up and take the food from you.

And here is where it got interesting, because I noticed that monkeys eat bananas backwards from how I do it... and backwards from how everybody else I've ever seen do it as well. They peel from the tip instead of the stem so that they have a "handle" to hold on to the thing as they eat that last bite...

Banana!

Simply brilliant! Why in the heck didn't I think of that?

And there you have it... how I learned to eat a banana from a monkey. Priceless knowledge you can use! Hmmm... now a banana is sounding good for some reason. I'll bet it goes great with "Coke with Lime."

Movie Quotable of the Day: "I am now aiming precisely at your groin... so speak or forever hold your piece."
Yesterday's Answer: The Full Monty (1997) with Robert Carlyle and Tom Wilkinson.

Categories: DaveLife 2005, DaveToons 2005Click To It: Permalink
   

Comments

  1. theMike says:

    I’ll place an even money bet that the Coke if poured onto the banana would disintegrate it.

    Therefore, you should always carry a Coke, just in case you have to defend yourself against a man wielding a banana.

  2. Sayuri says:

    When I eat a banana, I skin the whole thing and then nip off about a centimetre from each end.

    This is because back in the far reaches of time, when I was a child, someone told me that insects lay their eggs in the end of bananas and that if you ate the ends, chances are they would hatch inside you.

    To this day, I won’t, can’t eat the end of a banana

  3. HeideH says:

    Dave, I really thought you were the perfect man for me until I saw you eat a banana in the most ass backwards way I’ve ever seen. It’s a stem, not a handle. Such a shame, we could have been so good together……… ; )

  4. MRKisThatKid says:

    When you tell tall tails to children you should always stop for a moment and consider what permanent damage it could cause.

    I once knew someone who when eating an apple didn’t stop at the core like everyone else i’ve ever known but carried on to eat the core as well, fantastic because it meant there was no gooey mess to dispose of.

    I think the eating-dave is the cutest yet!

  5. Dave2 says:

    I wonder what happens if you pour Coke on a monkey?

    Oh great… thanks so much Sayuri… now I am going to be paranoid about insect larvae in my banana ends!! GAHHH! =Sob!= I used to love bananas. :-)

    But… but… Heide… THE MONKEYS! They have it all figured out! Give it a try, and you’ll see it really is the superior way to eat a banana. Everybody I’ve shown it to now eats their bananas the same way. :-)

    Yes, Dave is very cute when he eats. Must be the banana.

  6. Alessandra says:

    I GOT MY “BAD MONKEY” T-SHIRT!!!!!! SWEEEET!!!!

  7. girlonaglide says:

    Insomniacs unite! Last night was a three-hour sleeper. Sorry you pulled an all-nighter… hope you wear yourself out today and get some sleep, soon!

  8. karla says:

    I’m afraid of monkeys, and can’t stand bananas. I was once the splattered victim of a poo-throwing, banana eating monkey. (shiver) True story.

    Thanks, Dave for the post from hell. I have to go take that Valium i had saved up. Where’d I leave that bottle of vodka?

  9. Dave2 says:

    You are welcome!

    :-)

  10. adena says:

    Hmm…Apparently, I’ve ALWAYS eaten a banana like a monkey. I’m not sure I like that fact.

    It sounds like the monkeys in Thailand are more well-behaved than the monkeys in India. When I was there, they would break into people’s houses, and steal food. They were also adept purse snatchers. Then, there was the time that my friend had to fix his camera w/ duct tape, because a monkey tried to jack his camera, and wound up beating it all to hell.

    Bad Monkeys, indeed.

    (Oh, and Lime Coke is the BEST! I’m so addicted.)

  11. Anonymous says:

    damnit to hell you were right

Add a Comment

Blankatar!

   
I love comments! However, all comments are moderated, and won't appear until approved. Are you an abusive troll with nothing to contribute? Don't bother. Selling something? Don't bother. Spam linking? Don't bother.
PLEASE NOTE: My comment-spam protection requires JavaScript... if you have it turned off or are using a mobile device without JavaScript, commenting won't work. Sorry.




   


   


   
   
   
Your personal information is optional. Email addresses are never shown, and are only used by me if a public reply would be too personal or inappropriate here. The URL link to your web site or blog will be provided, so only fill this in if you want people to visit!



   

  Home  

spacer
Welcome:
Blogography is a place to learn and grow by exposing yourself to the mind of David Simmer II, a brilliant commentator on world events and popular culture (or so he claims).
Dave FAQ:
Frequently Asked Questions
Dave Flickr Gallery:
Dave Contact:
dave@blogography.com
Blogography Webfeeds:
Entries Feed
Comments Feed
Dave Social:
Blogography Tumblr
Blogography Instagram
Blogography on Pinterest
translate me
lost & found
Search Blogography:
thrice fiction
Thrice Fiction Magazine - March, 2011 - THE END
I'm co-founder of Thrice Fiction magazine. Come check us out!
free iphone app
Ask Dave iPhone App
Put Dave in your pocket with this FREE app for iPhone and iPod Touch. All life's answers await you with the Ask Dave app!
hard rock moment
Visit DaveCafe for my Hard Rock Cafe travel journal!
travel picto-gram
Visit my travel map to see where I have been in this world!
badgemania
Blogography Badge
Atom Syndicate Badge
Comments Syndicate Badge
Apple Safari Badge
Pirate's Booty Badge
Macintosh Badge
license
All content copyright ©2003-2017
by David Simmer II
   
Creative Commons License
This weblog is licensed under
a Creative Commons License.
ssl security
Comodo SSL