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Posted on Wednesday, May 11th, 2005

Dave!For the past year, I exist on about 4-5 hours of rest each night. Apparently, that's all I need. I go to sleep around 1am and usually wake between 4:30 and 5:30am. I have no idea what has changed in my life to shift me away from the 7-8 hours I used to get, but that's the way it is. Usually I don't mind, because it gives me a lot of time to catch up with work, watch TV, and surf the internet, but right now I just want to sleep.

But I can't. And there's this sinking feeling that this might be one of those nights I can't sleep at all.

So I randomly blog-surf and find out that Michael Sean has this massive Xanga journal that pre-dates his current blog. After a while spent poking around his site, I come across another one of those "Things to do Before You Die" lists that I like so much. I really need to update my own list one of these days. My answers to Michael Sean's list are in an extended entry.

  • Go to the top of the Empire State Building. Done. I've also been to the top of the now-destroyed World Trade Center, and up to the observation deck of the then-tallest building in the world... Petronas Towers in Kuala Lumpur.
  • Eat at a Waffle House. Done. A few times... and always in Florida for some reason.
  • Visit Newfoundland. I'd sure like to, but have not.
  • Perform on stage. Done. Drunken karaoke at which I am terrible.
  • Have sex in a public place. Done. Even worse? We were caught.
  • Have a beach bonfire with a guitar player and a 40 ounce bottle of beer. Yeah, but there was no guitar player.
  • Stargaze til the sun comes up. Done. Rocky Reach Dam, while drunk.
  • Climb to the top of the Mayan pyramid at Chichen Itza. I wish.
  • See the Grand Canyon. Done. Even more important, I've seen Sedona.
  • Do it doggie style. Done. And isn't that getting a little personal?
  • Go to an old fashioned clam bake. Done. Though I was a vegetarian and didn't eat any clams.
  • Visit a Third World Country. Done. According to a list I Googled, Thailand, Indonesia and Malaysia qualify... though the areas I was at could not really be considered "third world" if you ask me.
  • Skinny dip. Done. More than a few times... Maui is the best.
  • Witness the birth of a child. Nope.
  • Walk down Georgetown and 16th street in Indy the night before the Indy 500. I have been to Indianapolis, but not for the big race.
  • Have a job you actually love. Done. Sometimes.
  • Write a novel. Done. I've also written a few comic books.
  • Sing karaoke... sober. Will never happen.
  • Stand on top of a 14,000+ mountain and holler directly to God. Nope. Though you don't need to stand on a mountain to talk to God... He has excellent hearing.
  • Do something impossible. Done. And aren't you curious as to what it was?
  • Tour Washington DC. Done.
  • Get married. Nope.
  • Ride a horse. Done.
  • See a tornado. Done. Though it was a really wimpy one out on the plains of the Columbia Basin. Still cool though.
  • Laugh until you momentarily lose bladder control. Done. Everything's funny when you're drunk. Fortunately, I was at the beach.
  • See a drive-in movie. Done. At the good ol' Vue-Dale Drive-In.
  • Tell someone off that actually needs it. Done. But I'm sure you didn't need me to tell you this.
  • Spend a New Year's Eve in Times Square. I have been to Times Square many times, but never for New Years. I'm not sure I'd want to. I can recommend New York for the 4th of July, however.
  • Learn to play an instrument. Done. Saxophone, clarinet, and some piano.
  • Gamble in Vegas. Done. And lost.
  • Ride in a hot air balloon. Done. Was just as thrilling as you'd think it would be.
  • Talk to a homeless person on a bus/train/ferry. Done. And if you really want to impress me, buy them something to eat as well.
  • Learn to drive a stick. Done. It's what I drive.
  • Go to a movie alone. Done. When you travel as much as I do to strange cities where you don't know anybody, it's a nice way to alleviate boredom.
  • Eat sushi. Done. Though I am a vegetarian, so it did not contain fish.
  • See a musical/play on Broadway. Done. And only because my mother wanted to. I hate musicals, and would never go on my own.
  • Attend Mardi Gras in New Orleans. Done. Though it was a "special" Mardi Gras celebration for a convention I was at, not the "real" one.
  • Learn a foreign language. Done. My Japanese is passable, but mostly forgotten now.
  • Learn to Scuba dive. Done. In Maui, which is an excellent place to dive.
  • Suck a crawfish head. Done. In New Orleans, 1983, before I became a vegetarian.
  • Sleep on a beach. Done. More like "passed out on a beach."
  • Backpack through Europe. Done. My backpack is always with me when I travel! Though, if this is supposed to mean hitching rides and walking between cities... then no.
  • Skydive or Bungee jump. Done. I've done both, and find Bungee Jumping to be the more terrifying of the two.
  • Roadtrip - crosscountry. Done. Doesn't have to be THIS country, does it?
  • Drive a race car. Done. Three laps, and it was awesome (and very expensive).
  • Have sex in the butt at least once. Uhhhh... not really my thing.
  • Take one illegal drug. Done. Seriously... who hasn't?
  • Volunteer. Done.
  • Have sex with the groom's or brides' brother or sister. Nada.
  • Eat an oyster. Done. Before I became a vegetarian. Hated it.
  • Drive 400 miles for a cinnamon roll. Not for a cinnamon roll, but I have done it for a chocolate shake at a Hard Rock Cafe... many, many times. And a lot more than 400 miles as well.
  • Taste Rocky Mountain Oysters. Not in this life.
  • Run a marathon. I wouldn't survive it.
  • Learn to blow glass. Would absolutely love to. Preferably under the tutelage of Dale Chihuly.
  • Own a pet. Done.
  • Visit the Great Wall. On my "to-do" list.
  • Join the "Mile High" club. Uh huh.
  • Go white water rafting. Done. I ached for days.
  • Pet a koala bear. Maybe when I finally make it to Australia.
  • Add some kink to your sex life. Done. And sometimes not in a good way.
  • Have sex on a unicycle. What is with all these sex questions? And how exactly would you accomplish this?!?
  • Swim with dolphins. Done.
  • Meet up with an attractive fellow blogger in Vegas for one incredible night of wanton sex and gambling. Sure. I'll meet you there.
  • Give a nice card to someone for the hell of it. Done. When I was younger, I made my own cards and did this quite a lot, actually.
  • Watch a movie on one of the beaches of hawaii during sunset. I've seen many Hawaiian sunsets, but watch a movie? How many beach theaters are there in Hawaii?!?
  • Kiss someone and get butterflies. Done.
  • Play with a baby tiger. This is actually a horrible thing to do, because then the mother won't take the cub back because your stink is all over it.
  • Kiss a child's boo boo and make it all better. Done.
  • Paint a picture and hang it in your house. Done.
  • Go to a foreign country. Done.
  • Face a fear. Done. Skydiving and scuba diving when you are afraid of heights and deep water?
  • Spend Canada Day in Ottawa. I've been to Ottawa, and loved it, but not for Canada Day.
  • Drive Hwy. 17 from Thunder Bay to Sault Ste. Marie in early October. Sounds great.
  • Visit Mt. Everest Basecamp. Do you know how much that costs?!?
  • Buy a home. Maybe one day.
  • Walk naked on a nude beach. Done.
  • Shout "Fuck them all" at the top of your voice while standing on Tower Bridge (or any other bridge, for that matter). Done. Though not from the Tower Bridge (which would be kind of rude, because it's quite the tourist haven).
  • Dance for four hours solid and have your picture taken afterwards. Done. Isn't that what drunken high-school weekends are all about?
  • Stand on Primrose Hill at midnight, and look down on the city of London. It HAS to be at midnight?
  • Hug a small child. Done. But not in a Michael Jackson kind of way.
  • Hug an old person. Done. Who hasn't hugged their grandparents?
  • Call somebody who lives on another continent and talk for more than two hours. Done. And now that I have Skype, it actually happens more often than you'd think.
  • Go to the top of the lighthouse at Tybee Island. Where is that?
  • Fall in love. Done. And barely survived.
  • Taking a picture of yourself standing on a toilet. Wha-?
  • Take a picture while sitting on a toilet--doesn't have to be of yourself. Done. Hopefully a video chat counts.
  • Go to a party where you didn't know the host. Done.
  • Go after the guy/girl that you want becuase you know its right. Done. And ended up getting my ass kicked. Hard.
  • Watch 4th of July fireworks from the Brooklyn Bridge. No... but I have watch the fireworks OVER the Brooklyn Bridge as I landed in New York on New Years... very cool.
  • Learn to ride a motorcycle. Done. Live to ride baby.
  • Sleep for twenty-four hours solid. Done. The West Nile Virus will do that to you.
  • Stay up for twenty-four hours solid. Done. Oh so many times.
  • Be a nudist for a day. Nobody wants to see that.
  • Let someone go in front of you in the grocery store line because they have less stuff than you. Done. Random acts of kindness make life bearable.
  • Go to the Canadian side of Niagara Falls. Done. Both sides are worth a look, but I agree the Canadian side is nicer.
  • Put bandaids on your nipples for Commando day. I've never even heard of this.
  • Vote for a non-mainstream party candidate. Done. Good ol' Ross Perot!
  • Pretended to be really rich to see if people would treat you differently. Done. I have, and people do.
  • Kiss in the rain. Done.
  • Subscribe to Michael Sean. Done. And so should you.

Gee... according to this list, I am almost ready to die now. Good night (I hope).

Categories: Memes 2006Click To It: Permalink


  1. Ben says:

    Almost too interesting. I have a lot of living to go, it seems.


  2. Nez says:

    16th and Georgetown on race eve is a place to avoid – trust me.

  3. Neil T. says:

    Here’s what I’ve done:

    Visit a Third World Country. (Barbados)
    Laugh until you momentarily lose bladder control.
    Tell someone off that actually needs it.
    Go to a movie alone.
    Learn a foreign language.
    Eat an oyster.
    Own a pet.
    Go to a foreign country.
    Face a fear.
    Dance for four hours solid and have your picture taken afterwards.
    Hug an old person.
    Fall in love.
    Take a picture while sitting on a toilet–doesn’t have to be of yourself.
    Go to a party where you didn’t know the host.
    Go After the guy/girl that you want becuase you know its right.
    Let someone go in front of you in the grocery store line because they have less stuff than you.
    Pretended to be really rich to see if people would treat you differently.
    Vote for a non-mainstream party candidate.

    Evidently I haven’t lived as much as you.

  4. habitatgirl says:

    Thanks a lot. Now I feel like I’ve been wasting my f-ing life.

    I’m going back to bed. You go scale a cliff or something before breakfast, ya damn show off!

    Wow, my comment was denied because I said f-ing. Eek! I’m too dirty for your blog!

  5. Dave2 says:

    Too dirty for MY blog?!? I sincerely doubt it. Though there are spam filters in place that may be causing interference.

  6. karla says:

    Hmm…by your list I am doing pretty well. By MY list…I’m about halfway.
    I am intrigued by this Commando day bandaid on the nipples thing…..

  7. delmer says:

    I ran naked on a beach with a naked girl on my shoulders once. A long long time ago. Very long time ago.

    I was at work for more than 24-hours straight (the sobig virus struck while I was on vacation).

    Ran half a marathon … well, ran a lot of it.

    Why would a person have sex on anyting that ends in cycle? Maybe Lance Armstrong has a reason. Maybe if the right girl came along and her name was something like: Elizabeth Hurley-Cycle.

  8. michaelsean says:

    Someone else shares my joy of insomnia? Sweet! Yeah, I have had my Xanga for a lot longer. It was what got my started on the whole blog thing. A lot of the more humorous stories are under “protected” status there after my ex found my site and started reading it. If you ever want to read them, sign up for an account there and I will add you to the protected list. If not, no worries. I think I was awake until about 4am last night. I feel your pain brother.

  9. ViNi says:

    I’ve been reading your blog, and find it very interesting! Especially your toons, I like them, so cute. If I have the time, I wanna do something like that, if I may. 😛

  10. girlonaglide says:

    wait… I just realized you’re wearing a wife-beater t in that little pic… *concern increases*

  11. Dave2 says:

    It’s not a wife-beater… it’s a grey tank top that says “I’m The Entertainment.” I got paint on my over-shirt, so I was left with only the tank top I had on underneath.

    The whole sad story is here:

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