Okay, forget everything I just said... I've decided that I want to be the new Pope. In addition to wearing those cool hats and getting to be driven around in the Popemobile, I'm thinking it would be an excellent way to meet women. I mean, hey... the Pope gets AROUND. Besides, I was raised Catholic, so I think I'm like pre-qualified or something.
I wonder if when I get to be Pope I can kick all the tourists out of the Vatican Museum and turn the Sistine Chapel into my bedroom? That would be pretty cool getting to wake up every morning and have the first thing you see be Michelangelo's masterpiece hanging above you.
And, as if it weren't enough that the Pope gets to be the adored leader of millions of people, he also gets to carry around that hefty metal staff so he can kick people's asses when they piss him off. I think I'd use it to become the first POPE NINJA!
I wonder who I need to speak to in order to be put on the official Papal Ballot?
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Jebus.
You would make a cool pope.
I have heard that Simon Cowell has been chosen to select John Paul II’s successor.
Apparently it is going to be called Pope Idol.
You do realise you wouldn’t be able to have relationships with any of those women, don’t you?
On the other hand, if you were the driver of the popemobile…
I’ll pass the question along, when they contact me for my candidacy.
Ben: Are you taking Jebus’s name in vain there?
Ref: Note to American readers… in the U.K., “American Idol” is instead called “Pop Idol.”
Neil: Note to self… Neil is right, it’s the guy DRIVING the Popemobile that gets all the chicks! Perhaps when I am Pope, I can drive the Popemobile myself? Right after i hold a contest to “Pimp My Popemobile.”
Patrick: You are a candidate for Pope? That’s not fair… you probably look much better than I do in a Pope hat, and everybody knows that’s how they REALLY choose the new Pope!
Dude, why didn’t I think of that. Damn, a ninja-Pope. That would be soooo cool.
Think of the possibilities… you, the pusher of PAPPLE: Pope-Approved Apple products; you, the pusher of rock-climbing: Pope-on-a-rope climbing gear. I’m sure the world would witness a Hard Rock in the Vatican City, no?
ooooH…Pimp My Popemobile. I SO want a hand in that. Imagine all the pom pom tassells and leopard spotted fur upholstery, the vinyl floor coverings, blinking lights, little disco balls? Little Popes on Ropes hanging about? I am so there….
You said: Are you taking Jebus’s name in vain there?
I’ve read that 5 times and I laugh every dayum time. That’s funny stuff.
I think that Jebus would support me as Pope. And Karla… that “Pope on a Rope” idea has YOU as the front-runner to Pimp my Popemobile!!