Today's internet rabbit hole brought to you by... THE END OF DAYS!

It's supposed to happen, yet again, sometime tonight or tomorrow, assumably depending on which time zone you're in. This latest date for the Rapture is courtesy of a South African pastor who said that Jesus Christ told him directly when it was happening back in June.

And despite the fact that these things never come true, people are totally believing the guy.

I've watched a lot of their TikToks. All of the video creators claiming to be devout Christians.

Which I highly doubt, because if they had read their Bible they would have seen Matthew 24:36, which addresses the time for End of Days thusly...

"But about that day or hour no one knows, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father."

Which is to say that the odds of God telling some pastor somewhere when the Rapture is coming before Jesus even knows he's coming back is laughably crazy.

Let's continue with Matthew 24:37-39, shall we?

"As it was in the days of Noah, so it will be at the coming of the Son of Man. For in the days before the flood, people were eating and drinking, marrying and giving in marriage, up to the day Noah entered the ark; and they knew nothing about what would happen until the flood came and took them all away. That is how it will be at the coming of the Son of Man.

How the fuck is that in ANY way unclear? God is not dropping by with a warning about the return of Jesus. To anybody. According to the Bible, you'll be out living your life and... BLAM! Heeeeeeeere's Jesus!

But anyway...

If you never hear from me again, it's because I've been Raptured and am chillin' in heaven at the Supper of the Lamb with JC.

I'm sure I'll be forgiven for not believing yet another random person claiming to have been told when the world was ending.

Now that the Rapture is over (Spoiler Alert: I didn't make the cut, again), I was dismayed that another rapture is scheduled for April 23rd by Christian numerologists. Or whatever. I cannot possibly keep up with this stuff. It's as if people are so hot for the End of Days that they're going to keep throwing dates at the wall until something sticks.

Or... IT NEVER FUCKING HAPPENS

But anyway, I was commenting on a Facebook post about the whole rapture death-cult-fantasy scenario and dropped this little gem, almost by accident...

I have my moments.

Yes I do.

And it's true. If all these hateful bigots who are convinced that they're heaven-bound is indicative of who's going to be there? No thanks. I'm good.

I'll just stick around this mortal plane with all my friends.