Last night when I got home I was all excited because I was planning on cooking rice noodles with blackened green beans in a spicy sauce and had been thinking about it all day.

So there I was getting all the ingredients out and the Sriracha fell off the counter. It's in a plastic bottle, so I just ignored it while I got everything else out.

THE CAP ON THE SRIRACHA BROKE OFF AND PLASTERED MY KITCHEN WITH A SPICY BLOODBATH OF RED SAUCE!

After 20 minutes of scrubbing down my kitchen, I was like "Meh. Guess a cheese sandwich is good."

I don't even know why I try any more. This is what my life just is now.

Then this evening as I was bending over to put dinner down for Jake and Jenny, I saw that the Sriracha splashed under the counters and I still had more cleaning to do. This time when it's dried and caked on.

I really need to wrap everything I own in bubble wrap. It's the only way I'm safe in my own home.