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Posted on Tuesday, July 7th, 2015

Dave!My long-standing loathing and contempt of Jared Fogle, the Subway Sandwich Whore™ is well-documented. I think the way he shills for Subway's shitty sandwiches borders on fraud, and the fact that he's gotten millions of dollars for it makes him a loathsome creature indeed.

"LETS COMPARE A 6-INCH SUBWAY SANDWICH WITH NO CHEESE, NO MAYO, NO FATTY ANYTHING, AND NO FLAVOR TO THIS BIG MAC! AS YOU CAN SEE, SUBWAY IS CLEARLY THE HEALTHY CHOICE!" — Except when it's not, because most people are going to go for the $5 foot-long fully loaded with fat plus the "Meal Deal" upgrade with fatty chips and a toxic cup of soda because that's "getting your money's worth." Turns out when you compare what people actually eat at Subway, the restaurant is no better than McDonalds... and quite possibly even worse. Way worse when you consider that the people ordering that shit have been brainwashed into thinking they've made a healthy choice.

For these reasons and plenty more, I've blasted Jared (and Subway) more times than I can count.

Take, for example, my reaction to Apple's introduction of the MacBook Air. All I could think about was how such a slim laptop would be perfect for decapitating Jared Fogle if you happened to run into him on the street. I even drew a Davetoon to illustrate how that would go...

DAVETOON: Bad Monkey Uses MacBook Air to Decapitate Jared Fogle

Yeah, no love lost there.

So you can imagine my reaction when it was announced that Jared had been suspended from being Subway's spokeswhore after his house was raided during a child pornography investigation.



Happy as I am about the prospect of Jared Fogle disappearing forever... I would have never wanted it to happen like this. Odds are, the investigation has everything to do with the arrest of the former head of The Jared Foundation... Fogle's charity which is fighting to stop child obesity... and absolutely nothing to do with Jared himself. Indeed, every indication is that Fogle is cooperating fully with the FBI, and he hasn't been charged or arrested for anything.

And I honestly hope he's innocent, because piece of shit sexual predators who prey on children are something we really need less of in this world.

No, if Jared has to go... let it be because people finally wise-up to his disgustingly deceptive ads where he takes millions of dollars for telling people they're eating healthier when, odds are, they're really not.

That would be something to celebrate.

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Categories: News – Politics 2015Click To It: Permalink


  1. Cb says:

    Why do you hate fat people?

  2. Lynda says:

    He can be innocent and still not a spokesperson. I never liked him or Subway either.

  3. hello haha narf says:

    i am not a fan of the man either, but it hurt my heart the other day to watch social media turn on him, condemning him for child molestation without facts… just knowing that his house was raided. so much for innocent until proven guilty. or, ya know, people getting their facts straight.

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