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Posted on Wednesday, May 14th, 2014

Dave!Blerrrrgh! I feel like crap.

It was a crazy day but none of it is really blogable, so I guess I'll finally answer this list of "Fifty Original Questions For You" that a reader sent to me... which they found at Liz From The Internet.

And here we go...

  1. When you have a container of Neapolitan ice cream, what flavor do you leave for last? Strawberry. Not because I don't like it, but because I don't like it blended with my vanilla and chocolate.
  2. Would you rather be caught in a thunderstorm without an umbrella or a snowstorm without boots? Thunderstorm without an umbrella... I actually enjoy that. The last time it happened was when I was in Vietnam. I got very, very wet from head to toe. But had a great deal of fun taking photos.
  3. Let's say you have access to a time machine, but it can only go either backward or forward. One or the other. Which do you choose and where do you go? Forward. I can only hope that this world eventually develops into something better than it has been throughout human history, and I'd really like to visit Tokyo hundreds of years from now.
  4. If you could choose to have any superpower ever, what would you pick? Flight.
  5. Tomorrow morning, you wake up in the body of a celebrity, like in a '90s body-swap movie. Who is it? Chris Evans... aka Captain America. How do they react to your life? He would be incredibly bored by my life, I'm sure. What do you do when you're "them"? What do I do when I'm young, good-looking, rich, and talented? With women falling at my feet everywhere I go? Where I can afford to do anything I want? Wow... let me think on that for a while. Would you choose to switch back? Hell no.
  6. Any allergies? When I was younger, I had a myriad of allergies, but outgrew them. Now I only seem to have problems when the seasons change. As we move into summer from Spring, I'm feeling a bit allergetic right now.
  7. What would you be more embarrassed to buy: sex toys or adult diapers? I wouldn't be embarrassed by either. I've been the caregiver for an elderly person and didn't even think twice about having to pick up their adult diapers. And of course I've bought sex toys (alas, mostly as gifts) with no embarrassment... it's not like you're shopping for them at Wal-Mart.
  8. Did you get enough sleep last night? Lord, no. I never do. Such is the life of a chronic insomniac.
  9. You're the sole witness to a Mafia murder. Witness protection has to set you up with a whole new life in a totally new country. You have to leave everything behind, but you can pick where you move to. Where do you go? Edinburgh, Scotland.
  10. If you could star in a biopic about any famous person ever, who would it be? Sir Nicholas Winston. Not because I think I'd do the job justice, but because his story is screaming to be told. He should be famous, but oddly isn't for some reason.
  11. What's the biggest animal you've ever killed? Bugs count. I've never killed anything but bugs. And don't even do that any more if I can avoid it.
  12. Would you rather have millions of dollars but always feel nauseous when you go outside, or be dirt poor forever but never get sick again in your life? This is confusing. Would I be nauseous if I were in a plane? In a car? Or is it any time I left my house? If it's the latter, what good is money if you can't use it? I'd take the health, please.
  13. A wizard offers you immortality in exchange for your two front teeth. Do you take it? Hell yeah. Having two fake front teeth in trade for immortality?
  14. Could you win the Hunger Games? No. In fact, I would undoubtedly be killed immediately.
  15. What was your favorite Halloween costume as a kid? How about as a teen/adult? As a kid? Batman. As an adult? Batman.
  16. Do you bite your nails? I couldn't if I wanted to. They are way too tough.
  17. What was the first movie you remember seeing in the theater? Either Pete's Dragon, Blackbeard's Ghost, The Cat from Outer Space or Herbie the Love Bug... it's hard to tell because Disney re-issued movies all the time back before there were VCRs.
  18. Do you prefer music with male or female vocalists? Male.
  19. You and the love of your life are having a baby, and you get to choose the name! There's only one catch: your partner INSISTS that it be the name of a place, real or fictional. What do you name your baby? Lucia for a girl (after St. Lucia) and Ellis for a boy (after Ellis Island).
  20. If you could reboot or remake any movie, what would it be and who would you cast? That would be John Carter... based on the amazing Martian books by Edgar Rice Burroughs. It was completely and totally fucked up by Hollywood and made into one of the worst films ever. As for who I would cast... I honestly don't know. Preferably somebody who can actually act after holding auditions. Hopefully unknowns.
  21. If you could automatically know how to speak any language or play any instrument, which would you choose? Japanese (language) and piano/keyboard (instrument). I actually learned Japanese and played keyboard in the distant past, but have forgotten most everything about them. Use it or lose it.
  22. For you, would getting amnesia be a good thing? Probably not. But I wouldn't be upset at starting over.
  23. If you curse loudly and then realize that there are children nearby, what is your reaction? To not make a big deal out of it so they wouldn't make a big deal of it.
  24. Of what animal are you most afraid? I'm not really afraid of any animals. More bugs than anything else.
  25. Pizza or oral sex? Since eating pizza while having oral sex would be like... the best thing ever... I'm not going to choose between them.
  26. Without looking them up, can you explain the rules of football? The fundamentals, sure. How about Quidditch? Not even a little bit, as I can't stand any of the Harry Potter crap. What do you think that says about you? That I probably shouldn't play football or Quidditch.
  27. You're in the car, switching channels on the radio when you hear a song that makes you go "OH SHIT, THAT'S MY JAM!" What song is it? Wow. People are People by Depeche Mode? I dunno. Probably something by Depeche Mode or The Pet Shop Boys.
  28. Have you ever paid to see a Step Up movie? If not, how much would someone have to pay YOU to see a Step Up movie? No. I don't even know what that is. But I'd probably see any movie if somebody paid me $500.
  29. If you were being executed tonight, what would you choose for your last meal? Fettuccine Alfredo, but ONLY from Alfredo alla Scrofa.
  30. Have you ever bought an item of clothing because it reminded you of something a fictional character would wear? No?
  31. If you were invisible for a day, what would you do? Go to Washington D.C. and get incriminating evidence on as many shitbag politicians as I could so a scandal could erupt and they could be replaced by more shitbag politicians.
  32. Have you ever been punched in the face? Kinda. I was hit in the face while in a tussle... but it wasn't like somebody teed off and punched me square in the face.
  33. How do you take your ramen noodles? With veggie broth and some peas and carrots.
  34. Do you ever rehearse or plan conversations before you actually have them? Not really conversations... but if I'm doing some public speaking I'll absolutely plan out what I'm talking about.
  35. How much black do you wear on a regular basis (not counting funerals)? Not much at all. I'm too pale to pull it off.
  36. Do you have any tattoos? Yes. Five in three places. Do you want any? Any more? Gawd yes. I love my tattoos and need more.
  37. If someone offered you a free pet snake, would you take it? It's not dangerous or really big or anything. They're just moving to a place that doesn't allow pets. If it meant saving the poor thing from being put to death, then sure. But I have no real desire to own a snake. Not that I don't like them, I would just hope for a more interactive pet.
  38. Do you know how to pronounce the word "pinochle"? The card game? Yes. PEE-KNUCKLE.
  39. Can you think of anything more boring than birdwatching? I've been in many meetings that would make birdwatching seem like an action movie.
  40. Are you better with numbers or words? Earlier in my life, I'd absolutely say numbers. Now? Definitely words.
  41. At the movies, do you stay for the credits? Only if I know there's going to be something "extra" there... like in the Marvel films.
  42. Is morality universal or relative? Relative.
  43. Let's say you're getting married to someone you absolutely adore. The only catch is that you met them through a Craigslist hookup ad that was supposed to be just for one night of casual sex. Would you tell your friends how you and your fiancé met? Absolutely. I think that's an awesome story of how you met your spouse.
  44. What's the worst name you've ever been called? "Faggot." Not because I was offended at being mistaken for being gay... but because that's a hateful, awful word designed to torment somebody because of their sexuality, which is repugnant.
  45. Would you eat human flesh if it had been harvested and prepared humanely? (Say, from someone brain-dead who had marked him or herself down as an organ donor - same difference, right?) I'm a vegetarian, so no. But I'd like to think I'd make an exception for some fucking asshole like Pat Robertson or Rush Limbaugh... assuming the flesh was collected as inhumanely as possible.
  46. At what age did you stop believing in Santa? No clue. But I was young. 1st grade maybe? Alternately, if you never believed in Santa, did you ever ruin Santa for anyone else? Not that I know of.
  47. Do you get along better with old people or little kids? I get along equally well with both.
  48. If you had to choose, would you rather become a nun/monk or a drug dealer? Monk.
  49. What's your best bodily feature, objectively speaking? Height?
  50. Who is your favorite late night talk show host? I'd like to appear smart and say Craig Ferguson (who I do like and will miss when Joel McHale replaces him)... but it's Jimmy Fallon. He's clearly just having fun night after night, and that's what I need to wipe away my day.
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Categories: Memes 2007+Click To It: Permalink
   

Comments

  1. martymankins says:

    Number 29 is my favorite answer.

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