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Bahamas – Day Three

Posted on Sunday, July 8th, 2012

Dave!Well... uhhh... that was an interesting night. Or so it would seem. Things are a little... fuzzy... right now in my brain.

After I started drinking, I apparently decided not to stop. I totally blame the group of enablers I hung out with at the bar. Well, that and the fact that this KALIK beer they have here is pretty darn tasty. I cannot, however, offer any explanation for the two shots of tequila that were on my bar tab. Except to say that it was probably because they didn't have J├Ągermeister...

Kalik Beerz

At some point I noticed the sun was setting, so I decided to run down to the beach and take a photo. I ended up tripping in the sand and crashing into a palm tree, but I still managed to get the shot...

Sunset in the Bahamas

As I was limping back to the bar, I saw people eating popsicles. Since I hadn't eaten dinner yet, I decided that was the perfect thing to have.

And since I was a good boy and totally finished all my popsicle dinner, I rewarded myself with another beer for dessert.

I don't know what I was rewarding myself for with the four beers that followed... but they were on my bill, so I'm sure I must have totally deserved them.

Eventually everybody decided to go to the casino. It sounded like a great idea at the time, but I was completely drunk so I probably wasn't in the best shape to be making decisions. Fortunately, I also wasn't in the best shape to remember how to get money out of a cash machine, so I only lost the $20 I had on me. At least I think it was $20. Let's see... I started the day with $50... minus $24 taxi to Paradise Island... $4 for the ferry... $1.25 for the jitney bus... so yeah, $20 pissed away (give or take). I can live with that, I guess.

When I finally dragged my drunken banged-up body back to my room, I took this picture of myself...

Dave is Red

I'm not sure why. Probably because I was surprised to have gotten so sunburned considering I was only wandering around Atlantis for a little over three hours. Guess the sun here is mighty powerful.

The time-stamp on the photo is 12:47am, so I'm guessing I was in bed by 1:00am.

I woke up around 7:30 this morning with quite a lot of pain in my knee and shoulder, but barely a hangover. I was going to chalk this up as a WIN! until I saw my shorts laying on the floor with the back pocket half-way ripped off. Which means my right ass cheek was exposed for heaven-only-knows how long last night. I hope I was wearing boxers underneath, but that's debatable considering I was buck-nekkid when I climbed out of bed. I'm pretty sure it didn't happen when I fell into the palm tree, so I have no clue when... or how... it happened.


The only thing I really wanted to do in the Bahamas (other than nothing) was to go diving. Unfortunately, I am still poor thanks to buying my new MacBook, so I knew early on that it wasn't going to happen. This trip may have been ridiculously cheap, but it was no excuse to rack up debt on my credit card with some dives. The plan was to use my "resort credit" to pay for most of my meals, and not spend more than the $150 I brought with me ($50 a day) for everything else.

Never mind that I blew past my entire resort credit by $62 because I ran up a massive bar tab last night... I'm sticking to the plan, dammit! I now have -$12 to spend on for my last day. I guess this means I'll be selling myself down on the beach tonight so I can afford dinner. Here's hoping some sugar-momma (or sugar-daddy, because you can't be picky about these things) likes men with their ass hanging out of their shorts.

In the meanwhile, I suppose I'll see what I can do with my -$12.

There's still no sign of the scattered thundershowers I've been promised three days in a row now... so maybe I'll lay by the pool and read a book. The sun is just now peering over the East Tower, so I'm sure the courtyard will be flooded with an ungodly amount of sunshine any minute now...

Sheraton Bahamas Cable Beach Panorama

Because, hey, I've already got the start of a really good sunburn, why not take it all the way?

But first I have to drag my lazy ass out of bed so I can make my way down to the lobby and post this to my blog*. It's 8:40 now, so I'm hoping to make it by 11:00.


*I'd post this from my room, but the internet here is wired. Since the new MacBook Retina doesn't have an ethernet port, I'm sans internet. Technology: it's not always all it's cracked up to be.

Categories: Travel 2012Click To It: Permalink


  1. Poppy says:

    I think you drank the tequila for me. I told you I wanted you to drink a shot that would kill my cold.

  2. Sybil Law says:

    Sounds like a pretty awesome vacation to me! Drinking, stumbling, sunsets, sunburns and fuzzy memories. Yep – sounds about right!
    Buy some sunscreen!

  3. Kyra Wilson says:

    Hmm figuring out the short ripping incident: do you have an ass-cheek sunburn? Might help you narrow it down! ­čśë

  4. sizzle says:

    It’s so gorgeous there. Sounds like a blast!

  5. brandon says:

    i stopped reading once you said tequila and woke up naked in a howard johnson with a half used bag of kitty litter. that’s what tequila does. that’s its job.

  6. Did you every find your boxers?

  7. martymankins says:

    What Sybil said above… times the number of beers you had.

    Nice sunset photo – even with the tripped up action.

  8. Lisa says:

    It sounds like a good vacation to me!

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