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Posted on Monday, April 12th, 2010

Dave!Despite having worked a big chunk of Saturday and Sunday I was still completely overwhelmed today. This was kind of disheartening, as it made me feel as if I had given up my weekend for nothing.

It's times like this that I am seriously reconsidering my no-drug policy here at Blogography.

Because, let's face it, if anybody is the perfect candidate for drug use it's me. I work under high amounts of stress, I am often alone, and I have a highly addictive personality. I often joke that the only thing that keeps me from doing buckets of cocaine is the cost. But the truth is that I could probably juggle a few things in my budget and be able to free up enough cash for a decent coke habit if I really wanted to.

And days like today, I really want to.

Living in a hallucinatory land of green skies with pink clouds while surrounded with hundreds of imaginary monkeys may seem like a terrible thing, but I assure you it sounds pretty good compared to my non-cocaine-hallucinated reality...

Dave's Dream

So far so good.

But then I look at the legal ramifications of being caught in possession of cocaine, and this rose-colored scenario starts to turn murky. As a first-time offender, I could probably get off with community service and drug counseling. Picking up garbage on the side of the highway wouldn't be too bad, that I could do. But the idea of having to go to meetings with crack-heads, stoners, blazers, and drugged-out nut-bags while some counselor lectures on the joys of a drug-free life... well, that's enough to scare me straight before I even begin. In all honesty, I'd rather go to prison.

So I'm back to square one.

I guess it's time for chocolate pudding and a glass of milk.

Which I'm sure is almost as good as a couple lines of cocaine anyway.

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  1. Kailyn says:

    From what I understand from folks, if you’re looking for hallucinations, cocaine might not be your first drug of choice. Perhaps acid, shrooms or peyote? Or maybe an opiate in sufficient amounts?

  2. Christopher Stogdill says:

    You do know I work in the addiction treatment industry, right?

    I do find it funny that you chose cocaine because in my experience, you look hard enough at a coke addict you’ll probably find a sex addict underneath….interesting……

  3. martymankins says:

    Chocolate pudding has the advantage of not leaving residue in your nose. Unless you snort it. Although that’s not the intended intake method of pudding.

    Plus, cocaine is harder to get and more expensive.

  4. Sybil Law says:

    Just smoke some weed. It’s mellowing. 🙂

  5. annie says:

    Then you should really try pot! It’s legal in many places with a Dr.’s card.

  6. You know, all us blog minions could each buy one box of antihistamine and send you all the boxes and you could freebase some Sudafed. Woo hoo!

    You’re probably going to get arrested now, right? Sorry.

  7. CP says:

    Stick to the pudding and milk. Oh, and a self-induced orgasm. While eating pudding and milk.

    Drugs are bad and do evil things, especially to we creative types.

    Keep it drug free. Life is much better that way. Trust.

  8. muskrat says:

    One of my best friends does coke all the time, and she has a great job and has never been to jail OR prison! She has no savings, though, and is always bitching about being behind financially, despite being single and making six figures. So, there’s that. Hey, I’ll support you either way.

  9. Pachinko Sid says:

    psssssssssssst wanna buy some chocolate pudding..

    first spoonful is free…

  10. I did coke in the 90’s and I never experienced hallucinatory effects…I had lots of energy and people thought I was a nut case, and how no one else caught on I was a coke head at 16 is BEYOND ME, but never once did coke make me see things that weren’t really there.

    Opium and acid, however, now that’s what you want to take to see pink clouds and hundreds of monkeys…or have conversations with BIC lighters or take notes on fish conversations, and let’s not forget everything that had a glittery trail like a shooting star when it moved. It was beautiful, man!..ahem.

    So, Yeah, I mean, cocaine didn’t ever do that for me…but for you, maybe it’s possible!

  11. you know i love your drawings, but am slightly disturbed by your nipples in this one. wonder what that says about me.

  12. Karl says:

    Doesn’t have to be cocaine, dude. You could go with something like heroine or ecstasy.

  13. I’m a good candidate, too. And I love that ‘toon.

  14. sewa mobil says:

    funny picture of monkey

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