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Seasoned

Posted on Monday, September 21st, 2009

Dave!I don't know that anybody cares what television I'm watching, but it comes up from time to time so I thought I might as well get a post out of the way.

It's only fair to preface this list with my disgust and loathing of television in general now-a-days. Too many great shows get cancelled (=ahem= PUSHING DAISIES =ahem=) only to be replaced with complete and total crap (usually reality television dumbassery) and networks never even care about the people watching these shows. If they did, they wouldn't leave viewers hanging, and allow shows to wrap-up stories and plots in a satisfactory manor.

But oh well. Such is the risk of a television junkie.

NEW HOTNESS I AM GIVING A SHOT...

  • COMMUNITY. I admit I was not too impressed with the pilot. But it's starring Joel McHale, who I love more than toast. Hopefully it will find its footing and live up to Joel's potential.
  • FLASHFORWARD. I am very, very unsure they can maintain this story over the course of a season (I'm having flashbacks of "The Nine" here), but I liked the book on which it's been based (of the same name) so I'm game.
  • ACCIDENTALLY ON PURPOSE. I honestly don't give this show much hope, but I'm willing to give it a try because I like Jenna Elfman and really like Ashley Jensen.
  • NCIS: L.A. I positively loathe the original "NCIS" but love Linda Hunt, so I'm giving it a shot. Hopefully the dialogue and acting will be upgraded from the slapsticky crap that plagues the original, and give us a show more like the originator of them both: JAG.
  • MODERN FAMILY. This doesn't seem like it would be my kind of show, but the buzz has me really curious to check it out.
  • COUGAR TOWN. I will probably dump it after one episode, but I am inexplicably curious to see what this show is about. Wish I knew why, because it has FAIL! written all over it.
  • THE CLEVELAND SHOW. Will it be as funny as "Family Guy?" Probably not. But I very much want to find out.
  • V. I cannot fathom how the remake will possibly manage to top the original without the incomparable Jane Badler as "Diana" but, after the raging success of "Battlestar Galactica," we'll see.
  • HUMAN TARGET. A great comic book series with nice potential for a television series. They certainly cast the lead well... here's hoping that Mark Valley manages to work his "Keen Eddie" magic again.

RETURNING HOTNESS I AM WATCHING AGAIN...

  • CASTLE. Probably my favorite returning new show. The premise is great. The chemistry between the leads is electric. The writing is smart and clever. The mysteries well-crafted. It is dipped in WIN!
  • GARY UNMARRIED. One of the few new new shows from last season which actually manages to make me laugh. As if that weren't enough: Paula. Marshall.
  • SCRUBS (retooled). I loved the original show, and am not sure how I feel about them retooling it minus a big chunk of the cast... but I'm willing to give it a shot for old time's sake.

OTHER STUFF I AM NOT QUITE DUMPING YET...

"How I Met Your Mother" - "Big Bang Theory" - "House" - "Grey's Anatomy" - "Survivor: Samoa" - "Parks and Recreation" - "Family Guy" - "American Dad" - "The Simpsons" - "CSI: New York" - "SNL" - "30 Rock" - "Psych" - "Burn Notice" - "Top Chef" - "Project Runway"

   

NEW CRAP I WON'T BOTHER WATCHING...

  • GLEE. I'd rather be kicked in the balls then water-boarded than watch a show built around crappy singers covering popular music.
  • THE FORGOTTEN. This looks like a copy of "Cold Case" with less talented actors. Since I already loathe "Cold Case" why would I watch a re-tread with (shudder) Christian Slater headlining?
  • JAY LENO SHOW. When Leno (the most un-funny comedian on late-night this side of Jimmy Fallon) left "The Tonight Show" I threw a party to celebrate that I wouldn't accidentally land on his show when channel-surfing. When I heard he was getting yet another show to be not funny on, I was depressed for a week.
  • TRAUMA. Oh boy! It's a "new and improved" version of "ER"... NOW WITH EXPLOSIONS! Pass.
  • VAMPIRE DIARIES. Bitch, please. I refuse to read or watch "Twilight" so I'm hardly in a position to give a shit about all the crap that gets made into a TV series because of it.

OLD CRAP I WON'T BOTHER WATCHING...

  • DOLLHOUSE. I don't care if it is Whedon... this was the most pathetically bad show from last year. Let's take a blisteringly hot babe (Eliza Dushku!) and implant her with the most boring characters possible. Week after week after week after week. Add in the mind-bogglingly lapse of internal logic and a dumbass character named "Topher" and it's a recipe for disaster that rivals "Viva Laughlin" for absurdity.
  • LOST. If ever there was a show where the title perfectly describes the story, it's this one. When I quit watching two years ago, it was greatness that had degenerated into a senseless, meandering pile of FAIL! I can't imagine that it's going to end in a manner that will make the years invested in watching it pay off.
  • HEROES. It's a show about people with super-powers who go out of their way to avoid using super-powers! This leaves us with a boring-ass joke of a show where the only thing to look forward to each week is guessing which character gets to have the FX budget and actually use their power. Like Lost, nobody writing the show has a frickin' clue what to do with the story.
  • CSI: MIAMI. David Caruso is the single worst "actor" on television today, and I simply cannot fathom why anybody would want to be subjected to his "talents." I don't care how amazing the rest of the cast is, Caruso is such a douche that he destroys any chance they have to shine.
  • NCIS. The slapstick bullshit and inane dialogue has smart people acting stupid, stupid, STUPID! It's almost scary how such a great cast and concept can be reduced to sheer idiocy because of failure in implementation. I cannot believe that this show was a spin-off from "JAG" which was such a great show.
  • CHUCK. I hear they gave the whiny bitch kung-fu or something. But a whiny bitch with kung-fu is still a whiny bitch. Watching "Bumbling Chuck" act like a neurotic mess every week is supposed to be entertaining? Not to me it isn't.

OTHER CRAP I WON'T BOTHER WATCHING...

"Dancing With The Stars" - "Two and a Half Men" - "One Tree Hill" - "Gossip Girl" - "Lie To Me" - "Shark Tank" - "The Good Wife" - "90210" - "Melrose Place" - "So You Think You Can Dance" - "Biggest Loser" - "Hank" - "The Middle" - "Eastwick" - "New Adventures of Old Christine" - "Criminal Minds" - "America's Next Top Model" - "Better Off Ted" - "Law & Order: SVU" - "Private Practice" - "CSI" - "The Mentalist" - "Supernatural" - "Bones" - "Fringe" - "Super Nanny" - "Ugly Betty" - "Ghost Whisperer" - "Medium" "Numbers" - "Smallville" - "Brothers" - "'Til Death" - "Desperate Housewives" - "Brothers & Sisters" - "Cold Case" - "The Amazing Race" - "Three Rivers" - "Southland" - "Mercy" - "The Beautiful Life"

   

Here's hoping that most of the new shows I'm trying out will suck horribly so I won't waste too much time watching television!

But no worries. From past experience, I can pretty much count on it.

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Comments

  1. undisciplined says:

    I haven’t had a TV since March 2005 and you are reaffirming my belief that I’m really not missing anything worth watching! :)

  2. Sue says:

    I’m not giving Community much hope, although I also love McHale.

    I love House, and I used to love Heroes, so I was very disappointed that Josh spent time switching between the two premiers last night. Ugh. Heroes jumped the shark a long time ago. I don’t care if they DID get the original writer back, he can’t save a stupid plot. It’s like a super-soap opera.

    Leno’s show sucks ass. It’s exactly the same as his version of the Tonight Show.

    I think my TV-loving days are over.

  3. Hilly says:

    Oddly enough, I care about what television you are watching! I was so happy for Castle to be back on last night. That Nathan Fillion is one charismatic dude!

    • Dave2 says:

      At its core, “Castle” could almost be looked at as an update to “Murder She Wrote”… but it clears the one hurdle that always made Jessica Fletcher so scary… random people are murdered around her all the time! By adding the police element, Castle gets a more plausible explanation for all the dead bodies!

      Nathan Fillion was the perfect choice for the role, because I think his humor keeps the character from being a complete jerk.

  4. Sybil Law says:

    I forgot about Castle! I love that show. :) Otherwise, I agree with you on most stuff, but I love America’s Next Top Model. Tyra is insane but there’s something so… funny about it!

  5. Avitable says:

    Did you ever try “Better Off Ted”? It’s from the guy who did “Andy Richter Controls the Universe” and is pretty funny.

    You’re missing out on “Chuck”, too, and I love that the shows you’re actually watching almost all start with “I really expect this to suck my balls, but who knows?”

    Oh yeah – “Castle” – really? I watched the pilot and thought it was clunky and cliched. I’m really surprised you love it this much.

    • Dave2 says:

      I did try “Better Off Ted” but could never get into it. I loved “Andy Richter Controls the Universe” though… maybe if And joined the cast I’d like the show better?

      I love everything about Chuck… except Chuck. If they eliminated he lead character and gave the show to Sarah and Casey, I’d watch that!

      And those “I really expect this to suck” shows are NOT shows I’m actually watching… yet. They’re shows I’ve labeled “new shows I’m giving a shot.” Yes, I expect many of them to suck (hey, most of the time new shows do!), but until I give them a try, how can I know for sure? “Cougar Town” may end up being the most hilarious show since “Arrested Development” and I’d be missing it!

      I do like “Castle” quite a lot. Probably because I find it exactly the opposite of “clunky and cliched!” I find the stories to be smooth and refreshing when put up besides all the other “murder investigation” shows on television. Though, to be totally honest, I would have rather gotten another season of “Life” than “Castle”… now THAT was an original show!

  6. Craig says:

    You should definitely catch up with Lost when it’s all over and out on DVD. I kind of hate it, but I love it, and think it would be much better to watch one right after the other. Nothing beats the first season though.

    Chuck and Better Off Ted are both amazing!

  7. B.E. Earl says:

    Like Adam, I only made it through the first episode of Castle. I like Nathan Fillion (he’s my man-crush), but the show didn’t grab me the way I wanted it to. Do they still do the silly poker game with James Patterson and Stephen J. Cannell? Maybe I will give the 1st season another try one of these days.

    And I hear you on NCIS, but I love me some Pauley Perrette and Mark Harmon. It’s mostly Michael Weatherly’s character that bothers me. But I’m sticking with it.

  8. Ren says:

    I’m surprised you’re going to try Cougar Town, but I suppose you should include at least one long shot each season. Though you’ve got V on there as well… (which is the long shot I’ve chosen).

    It seems that the networks have done a better job lately with at least airing completed episodes of canceled shows either during the summer or online.

    I’m still on the Heroes bandwagon, but last night’s premiere was pretty uninspiring. Nor have I given up on Dollhouse or Lost.

    For a while last season, Chuck had stepped up, but it didn’t last. I’m hopeful. This show is the closest thing to Alias that’s currently airing (since My Own Worst Enemy didn’t really get a chance).

  9. martymankins says:

    Of the new shows you are giving a shot, the Cleveland Show is the only one in your list that I’m hoping will be funny. Seth will have 3 shows in the Sunday night lineup and I wonder if that may be too much, as I don’t watch American Dad all too much anymore.

    I like your “stuff I’m not quite dumping” list. Pretty close to mine.

    I’m trying to like Glee, but it may be too much Fame for my tastes. Regardless of the content, I do like the flow of the show, which gets credit for trying to be creative.

  10. I LOVED the book Flashforward- but like you, I can’t quite sort out how they’re going to make a whole show out of it. Movie? Yes. TV series?
    Well, we’ll see how it goes…

  11. I’m so keeping my fingers crossed for the remake of V. I *loved* that when I was a wee nipper. The theme music was pretty good too as I recall.

  12. I finally ditched Top Chef, Project Runway, and Hell’s Kitchen. The shows never changed and I couldn’t make myself feel invested in any of the contestants. I’m trying to like Glee, but I think I am once again going to be dumping a showneveryone else likes. It’s just too contrived.

    I love NCIS, especially Pauley Perrette’s Abby, and I’m looking forward to NCIS LA. I also still love House and Criminal Minds, but I came to these shows late and haven’t gotten sick of them yet.

    I vote for a Gilmore Girls return. Nothing beats GG for snappy dialogue!

  13. Dan says:

    I quite like Chuck, but I have only watched the first season. and it is beginning to get a little samey.

    Oh thanks for the Mac OS 10.6 tip by the way. Installed it on my Tiger machine yesterday and it worked like a dream.

  14. I’ve got to say I’m a Supernatural girl. Pretty good show. I started watching it to replace my Buffy/Angel fetish.

  15. yellojkt says:

    Glee is fantastic. It’s funny on a bunch of different levels. And the girls are smoking hot.

  16. Walt says:

    Dave:

    I totally agree with you about Leno. My goodness what was NBC thinking? And to think Fallon was handed major cash years in advance to sit on his backside and wait! It’s obvious the advertisers are what is important and the viewers are, well nothing more than a statistic to sell ads.

  17. Poppy says:

    Community was better than I expected.

    I guess I’ve lost my TV craving, because a lot of those shows sound made up. :)

  18. SFChick74 says:

    Did you give Lie to Me a chance? Maybe I watch the show because I’m fascinated with being able to spot when people are lying and other forms of body language.

    Are half those old shows even still on? The television season has gotten so short that I forget what’s been canceled and what is just on hiatus.

  19. Peggy Archer says:

    NO! Watch Bones (and House, and The Mentalist)! Keep me employed!

    For the love of whatever God it is you like, watch Bones (and House, and The Mentalist), so that I don’t have to tap dance on the street corner for nickels.

    • Dave2 says:

      I’d watch “Bones” except I can’t stand the leading lady. I’d watch “The Mentalist” except I can’t stand the leading man. I do watch “House,” from time to time, but it’s so formulaic (mis-diagnose, mis-diagnose, give-up, a-ha, patient saved just in time) that I can’t watch it regularly.

      Can’t you get a job on “Cougar Town?” :-)

  20. Chris Weed says:

    Also, Grey’s Anatomy? Really?

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