Umm... yeah... where to start.
Somebody I haven't seen or spoken to in over fifteen years tracked me down and gave me a call. After pleasantries were exchanged, we started chit-chatting about the good-old-days. About ten minutes into the conversation a bomb was dropped that left me (literally) speechless. It turns out a mutual acquaintance of ours ran into some trouble which eventually snowballed way out of control. The tale had everything... passion... drugs... sex... crime... money... revenge. It was like a prime time soap opera... but with real people I actually know.
After several rounds of me saying "You're kidding, right?" and "No shit? Are you serious?!?" the conversation eventually wound down and we said our goodbyes.
Now, I've been around. I've seen and done a lot of cool stuff all over the globe. But my adventures positively pale in comparison to this guy. He not only lives life to the fullest, he kicks it in the testicles while doing so. Compared to him, I might as well be locked in a monastery somewhere.
I don't know why, but this bothers me.
It's not like I'm dying to trade places with him or anything... it's just that, for the first time in a long while, I'm feeling regret about some of the choices I've made. I'm looking back and thinking "my life would have been more interesting if I had only done things differently."
I suppose it's never too late to change course, but I'm just not wanting to do that at this point in my life.
Okay, maybe I do know why this bothers me.
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Maybe at some point in your life, you will be ready to change course and try adventures of a different kind. I love that you live your life the way you want to and have so many tales to share because of it. That other stuff will come when and if you are ready for it.
Besides, who else can inspire a dude at HRC to cock block you then finally declare that it’s okay for me to hang out with you?
Funny, there have been times where I’ve been envious of the life of monks. Hey, you still got some life left in you. Just do some of those things. Well, maybe, not the stuff that would land you in a jail somewhere. I mean if you couldn’t write what would I read when I’m living in the abbey?
I am certain there are testicles for you to kick if you so choose. Hell, I could name a few for you just to get you started. 😉
Oh boy, I’m afraid this cycle of “wishing and hoping” hit each of us from time to time in our lives. And the good news?? It’ll probably happen again! It’s time for a new endeavor, perhaps? New language? New hobby? Take up a new sport? Become an expert at something you’re interested in? Appreciate you for you, please! The rest of us do!
Grass is always, uh, shinier. My brother’s life is one big photo op, but there are no pictures of his two divorces and one bankruptcy.
I wish I had done things differently everyday. Not the major things, but the small things that would have made a major difference in how I felt about myself and the accomplishments I’ve been able (or not able) to achieve. I have given up things that I shouldn’t and developed habits that have hurt me. Nothing so dramatic that anyone would tell stories about me, but enough to take some of the joy out of life I should have had. As you noted, it’s never too late to change, but change becomes more difficult with time and age. I suppose it’s how bad you want things to be different and how comfortable you are with life. As for me, it’s time for a change.
I know how that is. Think I’m finally ready for some change though.
There is time for adventure until you stop breathing. And frankly, you have had a lot of it – without the extensive criminal record it sounds like would be attached?
I have a friend who I sort of live vicariously through. She made all those choices I didn’t, and still look back on. She up and moved to an island – without a job, or knowing anyone – and lived there for a couple years. She does brave things that rob me of speech with her life that I know I would have done if things were different, the choices I made different.
But I’ve made some pretty damn good choices too. I’d have missed the payouts I have now if I had made those choices then, and I don’t want to let go of what I have. I’ll have time for adventure as time moves forward.
But I seriously regret not joining that artist colony in Italy and living naked with my sixteen boyfriends. 😉 The time for that one has passed me by.
The grass is always greener on the other side it may seem, I bet he envies you just as much as you envy him. 🙂
Really? You’d rather have the drama? Not me. I’ve had enough for a lifetime already.
Okay, but think about the regret THAT guy must feel!
I feel the same way when I read your blog, you have a freedom that I will *never* have. And, furthermore, I *love* that you take advantage of that freedom by traveling…
I wouldn’t use the word “regret” for my feelings, though. I think it’s a mark of intelligence to evaluate the alternatives to your reality. Not doing so reflects a certain degree of laziness. Additionally, this exercise is useful in that it either causes you to change course or to appreciate what you have. Win-win, I think.
It’s all relative—you have visited more places than most would dream about–you have just managed to stay out of trouble along the way.
Yes in a lot of respects the grass is greener but I can certainly relate to what you’re saying. I know I missed out on a lot of things due to the choices I made when I was younger. On the other hand, I got to experience a lot of things too.
Good thing you voted for Hope and Change!
Can’t look back…. must look forward.
If I look back, zombies will eat me!
Dave, as little as I know about you, it sure seems to me that you’ve seen more and done more than most people even dream of (more than *I* ever will). Everybody wishes that they had done some things differently, but I think you’re a lucky man, whose life doesn’t pale in comparison to anyone’s. : )
I took the safe road out of necessity a long time ago. Now, after checking certain things off my to-do, list I’m taking MY road. At least as much as I can right now. And that’s good enough for me…right now.
Forget all that “grass is greener” garbage.
I say quit your job. Go do something CRAZY. Get arrested. Get passionate. Get revenge. Get high. Have Sex. Commit crime. Steal Money.
Then blog about it please.
I’ve done some pretty crazy stuff and I don’t regret it- well, most of it. Still, I’m glad to be in a different place now- usually.
The grass is always greener and so forth and so on.
At the end of the day, the only thing that having regrets does is expel wasted energy you could be using to…you know…experience more sex, drugs and rock and roll.
I will say this though – from my experience, the only thing out of the sex, drugs and rock and roll that wasn’t/isn’t overrated is the sex….and THAT depends on who you’re sexing with. ::shrugs::
From what you’ve shared with us and from what my instincts tell me, you’ve had a pretty damn good life so far. You have money (i.e. you’re employed), you have passion (seems to me you love what you do, you love your friends and family and have loved and lost….), you can get the sex anytime you want (seriously, you so can and you know it….), and crime & revenge is boring. And I am sure you have PLENTY of skeltons in your closet that we readers (and probably some of your best friends and family) will NEVER know about. ::wink::
And even after ALL of that, you’re still alive, right?
Seems pretty damn awesome to me. 🙂
What, did he have kidney stones for five months instead of four?
I think your life is fine… what I’ve read of it. 🙂 I agree with Sarcastica. I’ve been burned so many times by watching someone else’s life and thinking “I wish I had that” and then their life implodes in a huge heap. And then I’m thankful for what I have.
Could have been better, coulda been worse. Some of the people I once knew are millionaires. Some of them are in jail. Some of them are dead.
You write one of the most-followed blogs on the internet. Thousands of people read your daily thoughts, thousands of people like you.
You did okay, Dave.
Well, tell us the story already. Just make you the protagonist.