It's 8:00pm and I'm already in bed. Not because I'm tired, but because I kind of got used to working in bed while I was sick. It's a pretty comfy way to be on the job, that's for sure.
This morning while I was cleaning up the disaster in my bedroom that's accumulated from the past week of sloth, I found a big bag of money laying at the foot of my bed. And by "big bag" I mean a gallon-sized Ziplock plastic bag, and by "lot of money" I mean $320 in tens and twenties (which may not be a lot of money to you, but it's sure a lot of money to me).
I spent the rest of my day trying to figure out what it was doing there, and where it came from. Not that I was assuming somebody broke into my home and put it there... no... I knew it was my money. I just couldn't for the life of me remember why I would have put it in a Ziplock bag and stashed it at the foot of my bed. Did I knock over a lemonade stand? Hold up a Girl Scout selling cookies? I rarely carry much cash, preferring to put even small purchases on a credit or debit card, so what was it for?
Eventually I gave up trying to figure it out, and decided to put it in the bank. Maybe I will treat myself to something pretty with my new-found wealth later this week. And by "pretty" I mean get the oil and brakes changed on my car.
I suppose there are worse mysteries to have... like finding a big bag with a severed monkey head stashed at the foot of your bed... so I'm trying hard not to complain...
But still, it sure would be nice if I could remember stuff like this.
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Maybe you are a male stripper that does really, really well with the tips????
Your getting old Dave! Maybe that bag of cash is a nest-egg, in case your bank topples over…
I’ve just searched under my bed, but all I found was a bag of golf balls… want to swap?
It’s from when you and I did a 2-person rendition of Pete’s Dragon, the “doc” scene where we sing “Money Money Money By The Pound”
Remember? “in tens and TWENTIES!!!”
ahh, good times.
Drug dealing en delirium? I hear it’s going around.
Actually, it’s mine. I forgot it when I dropped by that time last week… yanno… while you were sick and all. Can you just send it back my way? Take a little out for shipping, that’s the kinda guy I am. Thanks, man!
You must take the BEST medicine ever! Please let me know what kind it is, and how much to take, thanks. 🙂
There’s a cat under my bed, I won’t say whether or not she is in a ziplock bag, or if her head is intact.
I can tell you that she crapped on my living room carpet three times this week and also chewed up my very expensive hearing aid……so I’ll let you draw your own conclusions.
BTW, many hookers do drugs so that they don’t have to remember all the gross details. I’m just sayin’….
This sounds like the start of a good series: What did Dave do while he was sick and delirious for a week?
I can’t wait to read the next installment 🙂
xo
Once in a while I’ll find a mystery five in my pocket — and a buddy once found an almost-3-month old Reuben sandwich in a jacket pocket in his closet (he was attracted by the smell) — but a big bag of money?! Never.
With found money like that I’d go for the good oil. And maybe have the Jiffy Lube guy change the wiper blades … they seem to love that as they always suggest it when I stop in.
I’m still waiting on my Dave Scout Cookies, dammit!
Possibly the hooker left it?
Wow, I knew you were ill and out of it, but this is a whole new level.
What currency was it? If it was Sterling then the drinks are on YOU at Davedon ;o)
That’s awesome…all I ever find under my bed are dustbunnies and the occasional stray cat poop. (I know…that’s kind of gross. But one of my kitties is 15+ years old, and accidents happen.)
It is very strange that you have no memory of stashing the money, though…perhaps the money fairy paid you a visit?
Knock over a lemonade stand. Hee hee : )
That is truly bizarre. I hope you’ll share with us when you remember.
$320 would pay for my plane tickets to Tequilacon and you’d still have about $90 left so yea. Ya know just in case you can’t think of anything else to spend your money on.
It was euro’s right? Yeah… that shit never happens to me though..
So, the term “Money Bags” really should be SINGULAR….right? Take me to lunch??
Oh yea….um, I stopped by on my way home from work one day last week (from Grand Rapids) to check and see how you were doing. You were practically comatose, so I just left. Wasn’t until I got home that I realized that I had dropped my ziploc bag with $320 in it! So if you could just mail that on to me, that would be great!
It was the drugs,man.
It would be worth getting sick for to find that kind of coin on my bed.
Wow, you must do some interesting stuff when you’re sleeping in drug induced coma.
But, hey….apparently you do it WELL!
Yeah this should be the new game sweeping over the internet. Solve the mystery of the ziplock money bag. I suspect in the height of your illness you wandered out into the streets and accidently won an “all beef” hot dog eating contest. It was the meat that kicked your immune system into finally working so you could heal yourself.
Welcome back to the top of the food chain my friend!
I find money in jackets from last winter, pretty much every year. Apparently I like to hoard cash in my pockets for the summer…??
But that’s a nice find man!!!