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Posted on Thursday, February 12th, 2009

Dave!At what point did it become okay to talk with your mouth full?

I'm really curious about this, because while I was eating at Denny's this evening I nearly went on a homicidal rampage. I was seated behind a 50-year-old guy on a first date who nearly died in a coughing fit every ten minutes. I was seated ahead of some 25-year-old moron trying to entertain his 100-year-old great-grandmother by talking about his latest World or Warcraft adventure. And I was seated across from some rude piece of shit 75-year-old guy whose was yelling into his mobile phone every 15 minutes.

Entire generations from age 25 to 100 were represented, and yet it didn't make any difference. I think every one of them were chewing and talking with their mouths wide open and full of food. Especially the guy across from me, who was talking with his mouth full while he was shouting into his mobile phone! I can't imagine how disgusting it was to be on the other end of that phone call.

When I was little, I was taught not to talk with my mouth full and to keep my mouth closed while chewing. Anything less was considered bad manners. So did I miss something here? Did the rules of good manners change? Were my parents way off base? Or do I need to release another book...


It's as if society is in total meltdown, and common courtesy, respect, decency, and manners no longer apply.

What's next? How much worse can it get? I'm guessing eventually you'll be eating you meal at Denny's and somebody is going to come up, drop their pants, then rip a fart on your dinner plate because they just don't care.

And maybe that's the root cause of everything. The world is crumbling around us, and people just don't care anymore.

I can't say that I really blame them.

After finding out that the executive salary cap was removed from the stimulus bill, I'm to the point where I just don't care anymore either. President Obama got into office on a promise of CHANGE, and NOTHING HAS FUCKING CHANGED! We the American people are still getting gang-raped by politicians who are catering to the wealthy at our expense, just like we have been for the past eight years under President Bush. God forbid some dumb-fuck bank executive who ran their business into the ground should have their salary capped at $400,000 just because they need the government to bail out their worthless asses. Which basically means that Wall Street fucktards will continue to get billions of dollars worth of salary increases and bonuses for being complete failures. Suddenly, all those tax increases for the rich don't matter, because we're giving the money right back to them!

Clearly, I took the wrong career path. If I were a complete failure at my job, I'D BE FUCKING FIRED!!

I had no illusions that Obama was going to get into office and everything was going to magically change for the better... but I did expect he would stand firm on this kind of bullshit. It's a matter of principle. Bush fucked us over by giving tax breaks and incentives to oil companies making billions in profits. Obama has now fucked us over by giving billions to corporate executives operating at a loss. Call me naive, but if I must be fucked over, I'd rather it be from rewarding success than rewarding failure.

I'm sure Obama's people will come out blaming the Republicans... telling us that they wouldn't pass the stimulus bill unless the salary caps were removed. It may even be true. BUT I DON'T FUCKING CARE!! I don't care if the entire country goes down in flames and our economy collapses into ruins. I don't care if life as we know it comes to an end. I don't care if civilizations die and mankind spirals to extinction. I DON'T FUCKING CARE!! I don't care because at least we'd go out WITH OUR FUCKING PRINCIPLES INTACT!!

President Obama should have stood firm on the salary pay caps, regardless of the consequences. If executives at failing economic institutions decided not to accept government funds because they feel they deserve more than $400,000 in salary, then so be it. Let the assholes fail and take everybody else with them. The country may collapse, but at least I could hold my head high while watching it burn.

As it is now, I guess I'll just start talking with my mouth full and farting on people's dinner. After watching Obama drop his principles to take from the poor and give to the rich (whose bad decisions are responsible for making us poor in the first place), I just don't care.

It's a change I can believe in.

Categories: News - Politics 2009Click To It: Permalink


  1. Karl says:

    Hear, hear! I am grossly disappointed in this salary cap removal. I watched Barack’s press conference this week and felt proud to have helped elect this man. But now…blah. Seems like business as usual in Washington.

  2. Sybil Law says:

    I completely get your frustration. Totally.
    But this made me LOL:
    What’s next? How much worse can it get? I’m guessing eventually you’ll be eating you meal at Denny’s and somebody is going to come up, drop their pants, then rip a fart on your dinner plate because they just don’t care.
    So thanks for the laugh!
    And also, even my 7 year old chews with her mouth closed. In fact, she has trouble eating with some of her friends because they chew with their mouths open and talk with food in their mouth.She gets completely grossed out. So there’s 1 person growing up with manners! 🙂

  3. martin says:

    Re your HP printer, they may not work but at least they care what they look like.

  4. Turnbaby says:

    You ate at Denny’s???

  5. beth says:

    You are so right – I can’t really add anything, except DITTO. I had high expectations for this administration (still do – somewhat), but this was one thing that I never expected him to back down on. It is a core piece of what he wants to accomplish and he just flushed that principal down the crapper.

  6. ~beth says:

    C’mon … don’t hold back. Tell us how you really feel. Seriously, though …. BRAVO!!! Well done.

  7. Jen says:

    I’m with you on the whole salary cap thing. I still have hope for Obama but yeesh, that’s just screwed up.

    Politcal stuff aside, I have to ask when this chewing book will be coming out. I would like to order one for every member of my husband’s family.

  8. Iron Fist says:

    Bravo, Dave, I totally agree. When are you going to be the new Pope, again? We need Pope Dave now more than ever.

  9. A Lewis says:

    You know, I agree with you 100% on the food chewing debacle. Unfortunately, we have two friends who chew regularly with their mouths open….professionals, educated, well-rounded, nice people. I never have understood it. But it sure is disturbing!

  10. We’re not sure what’s worse… having poor social eating skills or going into Denny’s expecting comportement. Imagine if the President talked with his mouthful!


  11. Finn says:

    They removed the salary cap? OK, that’s it. I’m starting my own country. Who’s with me?

  12. ~beth says:

    I’m with Finn!

  13. I heard this morning on the radio that they also removed protection for whistle blowers from the bill. Yeah, why ever would we want to protect those who are prepared to tell the truth about exactly what goes on at these huge mega-corporations? Blows my bloody mind.

    And yeah, I was also taught not to chew my food and talk at the same time. So, if your parents were wrong, so were mine 😉

  14. Eric says:

    if this is true it is in fact very frustrating (both the chewing thing and the salary caps). 🙂

    given how vocal he was about the prospect, i’d like to give obama the benefit of the doubt for now. if getting SOMETHING passed was more important than any single part, maybe it is better to get the first wave of legislation passed, and then come back later with new regs like salary caps and other projects that got cut.

    we’ve got to remember, he’s been in office for less than a month – i’d like to hold off on forming a solid opinion on his progress until we see the sum total of his first 100 days. overanalyzing, doing detailed play-by-play breakdowns of what he’s doing right and wrong is getting old at this point – especially given that we do not have those pesky details like why the salary cap item got cut. but i agree – it would be nice if we saw some delivery on all these exciting proposals.

  15. Dave2 says:

    But that’s my point. There is no “benefit of the doubt.” I would rather the country go down in flames that continue to feed the bastards who fucked us. If we don’t stand on principle, then we shouldn’t be allowed to stand at all.

  16. claire says:

    Agreed. Those execs need to be devoured by the economic food chain, not bolstered to remain at the top. Even at the expense of everyone else. How can one maintain their integrity on such issues otherwise?

    And the food thing…frak, chewing with open mouths is one of my biggest pet peeves.

  17. jewelz916 says:

    I think you just need to quit eating at Denny’s period. My friend once worked there while she was in college, and on of her coworkers had a pair of DIRTY underwear fall out of her pantleg while she was walking around taking orders. Apparently she had just dropped her pants the night before, and then picked them up the next day not realizing that dirty grunders will still shoved in the leg. How sick is that? Denny’s sucks….

  18. Bad table manners is one of my pet peeves. I don’t care what you have to say, I don’t want to see or hear you eat! Keep your mouth closed and don’t slurp. That’s all.

    I can’t believe they removed the cap.

  19. ajooja says:

    “I don’t care if the entire country goes down in flames and our economy collapses into ruins.”

    Are you sure Wayne didn’t write this?

  20. Kevin says:

    Ahh, but you are missing the point on the Stimulus package – by giving the executives all that extra money, they are able to go out and spend that money on frivolous shit like new mansions, new yachts and small islands which gives a reason to desire to be like them so we work harder and we spend more hours away from home while we help the companies we work for make more money while we make the same as we did before…

  21. Ren says:

    I feel like I’m constantly telling my children not to talk with food in their mouths. Then I spend time with other kids and I realize that my kids do a really good job and just occasionally forget.

    I have mixed feeling on the salary caps. On the one hand, I totally understand the sentiment of not using tax-payer money in that way. On the other hand, if we assume (and I realize that it may not be a reasonable assumption) that there are actually executives worth keeping, then limiting their salary just means they’ll go to another company that isn’t hand-cuffed. Thus, we’re forcing the companies in which we have invested tax-payer money to compete at a disadvantage.

    Of course, I’m not in favor of any of these bail-outs in the first place. But if you’re going to do it it seems you should give the companies the best competitive advantage you can. Also, if we don’t trust the companies to use the money wisely, then how about not giving it to them in the first place? Better to do what was originally proposed and just buy the bad debts and such from the companies.

  22. Dave2 says:

    Ah, but here’s the rub. The salary cap is only in effect until the money is paid off. So, in effect, the cap is there to guarantee performance of the executives in question. After the money is repaid, they could get a multi-million dollar bonus to compensate for the period where they were “only” making $400,000 a year. I love the idea of a salary cap because the bailout puts the company at an ADVANTAGE over those companies that DIDN’T take the money and are struggling on their own without government assistance. My biggest problem with the bailout is that companies could take the money and shovel it in executive compensation rather than into making the business viable so that it is “stimulating the economy.” This make it easy for the business to go under, as the executives walk away with millions in salaries and bonuses they DIDN’T earn because they ultimately failed. I am sick of my tax dollars going to reward failure. It seems to be the American Way now, and I am just sick and fucking tired of it. If an executive is truly talented, $400,000 with the promise of a massive bonus FOR SUCCESS would not be a barrier. That’s the kind of people we need running these companies… not some dumbfuck who knows they will probably fail, thus unwilling to live on a “mere $400,000” while their company is being bailed out.

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