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Bullet Sunday 109

Posted on Sunday, November 30th, 2008

Dave!GAH! I FLY OUT IN TWO DAYS!! What am I doing writing Bullet Sunday when I should be washing clothes, packing my suitcase, and getting my work finished up?

• NaBloPoMoBlahBlahBlah. This is the last day of National Blog Posting Month, better known as NaBloPoMo. If you join up, you're supposed to post every single day in November. Congratulations to everybody who made it, and a special thanks to those who decided to make their daily post be about how tough it is to be doing a daily posts for NaBloPoMo. As somebody who posts every single day of the year, I feel your pain.

• Revenge! On occasion I write bits and pieces for the awesome news site GEEKS OF DOOM! under the name "Bad Monkey." Today I joined in on a Geek Round Table discussion on "best payback moments in film." You can check out our answers (and suggest your own) by clicking on this link.

Geeks of Doom!


• Dibs! My latest food addiction is DIBS brand ice cream snacks. They're horrendously bad for you, but oh so delicious. My most favorite would be the Nestle Crunch Dibs. Vanilla ice cream drenched in chocolate and rice crispies...

DAVETOON: Lil' Dave holding Dibs Snacks.

Looking at the Nutrition Facts is a bit scary. NINETY-FIVE PERCENT OF YOUR DAILY SATURATED FAT VALUE?

So basically, these things will kill you... but what a tasty way to go.

Dibs Nutrition Facts


• Steamer. Knowing that my site is well-indexed by Google, I thought that I would spare people the agony I've gone through after buying a Hewlett-Packard Photosmart B9180 Printer when people go searching for reviews. This is unquestionably the worst electronics purchase I have ever made. Ever. And that's saying a lot, because I've invested in a lot of technology over the years...

Hewlett-Packard B9180 Sucks Ass

When I say that the Hp Photosmart B9180 printer sucks ass, I mean that it sucks ass on an epic scale. In fact, it goes beyond sucking ass. It has reached EPIC FAIL. I've had problems with this piece of shit printer from DAY ONE. Carriage stalls... print-heads dragging across the paper... mysterious color shifts... suddenly printing black as gray... print jobs canceling half-way through for no reason... and loads of other stupid crap.

Multiple calls to Hewlett-Packard "support" resulted in nothing being solved. For ANY of the many problems I've had.

After a year of suffering, the pile of crap finally died completely. I would rather eat a gallon of lard than to EVER buy anything from HP again, but then I discovered something strange.

This printer, which you can get for $560 if you look around, comes with a full set of inks, valued at $260, bringing the actual cost of the printer itself down to $300. When I hold that up to the $600 in spare ink cartridges I have sitting in my filing cabinet, I didn't have much choice but to buy a replacement. It was my cheapest option.

And guess what?

STILL a pile of shit.

I'm still having random and inexplicable problems that I can find no way of solving. I'd call HP "support," but I already know that would be futile. Their "support" blows donkey. Thankfully I was smart enough to buy "lemon insurance," so we'll see if I can get it exchanged for yet another B9180. Third time's a charm? Unlikely, but whatever.

So now I know... better to kiss off $600 in ink than to ever trust your money to a Hewlett-Packard piece of shit printer.

And to anybody who comes here via Google looking for buying advice? FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE, DON'T PURCHASE THIS PATHETIC EXCUSE FOR A PRINTER!!


And, on that happy note, I'm off to bed.

Categories: Bullet Sunday 2008Click To It: Permalink


  1. The fact that you can blog every day makes you an evil genius, just so you know.

  2. Mik says:

    But if they do read your post and still buy the printer, maybe you can sell them your spare ink.

  3. I remember when HP made decent printers. What happened?

  4. Sarah says:

    Can I just say that I kind of love that you write for ‘Geeks of Doom’? That makes me super happy for some reason.

  5. Göran says:

    Printers are SPAWN of SATAN. Period.

  6. kapgar says:

    I’ve been noticing that most HP printers seem to suck ass anymore. The reliability just isn’t there. I’ve had carriage fails regularly on them. Our current one constantly errors out with “No Paper” despite the fact that there is a stack of 20-odd sheets in there. We have to push on the end of the paper and constantly hit the OK button when printing. It pisses us off. And it’s only two years old. Next time, we’re buying one that’s just a printer. I think relying on HP to develop a printer/scanner/copier is just too much faith.

  7. yellojkt says:

    Dibs are so good. There is a reason they sell them at theaters. Calories eaten while watching a movie don’t count.

    And, yes, comment begging does seem to work. If I were as witty as you I wouldn’t need to, but we can’t all be Dave.

  8. Avitable says:

    I think the same thing every time I read someone’s post complaining about how hard it is to post once a day for thirty days. You just said it much nicer than I think it.

  9. Tracy says:

    Oh…Dibs, Dibs…those tasty, tasty nuggets o’ death. I bought them once, consumed half of the tub in one sitting, THEN looked at the nutrition label and almost fainted. How can they pack so much badness into such a dainty, tasty bite??? Cruel. It’s just cruel.

  10. “STILL a pile of shit” made me giggle like crazy. sorry for your frustration with the printer, but thanks for the monday amusement. (don’t stab me, please.)

    gonna have to check out bad monkey’s writings. link appreciated.

    26 pieces is a serving? hmmmm. i love dibbs. perhaps at lunch i’ll go around the corner and grab a container or two…

  11. Naomi says:

    Of all the great paybacks, you chose Amelie… I. Love. You.

  12. Thanks for the warning on the printer. I’m in the market for one, and I’m truly frightened that I too will end up with a dud.

  13. Hilly says:

    I know this makes my a cynical little asshole but why sign up to NaNoHoHo and then bitch about it? Just don’t do it if you don’t want to blog every day, kind of like me.

    Of course, I may just be grumpy knowing that my diet will nevah evah evah allow me to eat those Dibs….they look so tasty!

  14. I love your choice for best payback moment…I need to watch that movie again..

  15. kilax says:

    I’ve only had Dibs once – someone was handing them out on campus. OMG, yummy! The last time I saw them was at the cinema. I made a special point to tell Steven how awesome they are!

  16. ChillyWilly says:

    I’m guessing the Photosmart B line of HP printers is the professional line. $600 is a lot for a decent printer, but that sucks that it sucked for you. I have a D7260 and with some minor paper tray issues with some programs (it always wants to pull from the main tray, not the photo paper sized tray), it’s been pretty good.

    Have not tried Dibs yet, but plan to someday. You steered me into food goodness with those Uncrustables.

  17. Ah, Dibs for the win I feel. YUM.

  18. Love your comments about NaBlo blah blah blah. And Dibs are my fave 🙂

  19. Dickie Maxx says:

    Like the replicant said. There was a time when HP made the best printers. When I sold computers I always took my customers to HP even though they had the worst profit margin. I just knew they would work. Now I have to admit I am looking at printers from those other companies I used to hate. Have you noticed even apple is shying away from their long time love affair with HP.

  20. Robin says:

    Today, I found out that I have three trips in the next two weeks. Arrrrggghhhh! Maybe we will cross paths at an airport. I’ll be the frazzled one…..


  21. iddly says:

    The only thing HP makes properly is laser printers. Their inkjet printers and computer are largely crap and have been for years.

  22. Justin Scott says:

    So I’ve twittered it like crazy, but if you want a new printer, check out the Epson R280. Great printer, high capacity ink cartridges, gallery quality 8×10’s and super duper uber fast! Oh and $100 off price

  23. delmer says:

    HP Support used to be the best in the business. For years I had experiences with them where the guy on the phone went way beyond the call of duty.

    Not long after Carly F. became CEO things went to hell — it may be coincidence, maybe their support model had to change to stay competitive — but it just started to suck royally.

    And then there were the three low-end printers I bought that all died. Two within 90 days and the third outside 90 days … which put it outside the warranty window. Now, while it is certainly my fault for not checking the warranty length, I’d *never* bought anything from HP that had a 90-day warranty; I expected this item to have a year or more (like everything else). So … this was my fault … but, HP knew they were selling a crap item. I’m sure home users, who’d print less than we did, got burned a bit more.

    I don’t buy from HP now.

  24. I think all HP printers suck. We have the Photosmart C7200 and it’s the biggest piece of shit in this house. Horrible. I feel your pain.

  25. Dory says:

    I refuse to buy ANYTHING Hewie.

    One day of NahNoMoFoMe, I was one of those people you hate. Feel free to stick a blowtorch up my nose. I deserve it.

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