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Posted on Monday, September 8th, 2008

Dave!After two weeks of unbearable dietary restrictions (with only a few minor infractions), I finally got to the doctor for testing so I could eat again. I celebrated by getting a haircut and eating a chocolate pudding.

The haircut was essential because I don't want to have to mess with my stupid hair while on vacation. I was very close to just taking the clippers and scalping myself, but nobody wants to see that. Instead I went to "MasterCuts" and had them chop me up.

More on that in a second.

The pudding was equally essential because, hey, it's been two weeks.

Dave eating pudding with a new haircut.

No pudding ever tasted so sweet.

And now back to MasterCuts...

For years now, I've been going to a barber shop in East Wenatchee whenever I'm home. I prefer a barber shop over a "hair salon" because it's no-nonsense, and I'm a no-nonsense kind of guy. But today when I went there for my haircut, it had closed down. The shop was vacant. Not knowing what else to do, I went to the mall and found... MasterCuts.

There was only one woman working the shop, and she said it would be a 45-minute wait because she was giving a perm. But "45 minutes" was optimistic because the old woman with the perm wanted to talk.

And talk.

And talk.

And talk.

And talk.

Explaining how she wanted to have her hair cut was, I shit you not, a ten-minute conversation. And then, after her perm and haircut were done, SHE DID NOT LEAVE! She wanted to keep talking, despite the fact that I was sitting there impatiently waiting.

Thus taking me an hour to get a 10 minute haircut.

Well, never again. What I need is a Flowbee.

Dave Photoshopped to be using a Flowbee hair cutter.

Hook that sucker up to my vacuum and I'm good to go, baby! No need to worry about where I'm getting a haircut because I'll cut my own hair!

Except the Flowbee with the Super Mini Vac is a whopping $99.90 plus shipping charges.

That's a lot of money, so maybe I need to hold a raffle. Everywhere I go on the internet and on Twitter, people are asking for money for something, so why not me? I'll come up with awesome prizes and sell $1 tickets until I've sold $116 worth, at which time I'll draw names. THEN, when I get my Flowbee, I'll take a video of me giving myself a haircut... instant blog entry! Sweet!

Blogging is so awesome.

Categories: DaveLife 2008Click To It: Permalink


  1. Danalyn says:

    I haven’t asked for money yet…although, maybe I should start. 😉

    But I think I can spare a buck for your cause. Although, I might pay more money to see you eat a big greasy RED MEAT burger. 😛

  2. sizzle says:

    That last picture is hilarious. Nice work!

    I had pudding pie tonight. YUM.

  3. awytch says:

    Smileys Barber Shop

    412 N Mission St # C
    Wenatchee, WA 98801

    (509) 665-7073‎

    Simple, easy and they understand a haircut is a freaking haircut not a “Style”!

  4. Robguy says:

    I’ll kick in on your flowbee if you kick in on my electric blanket.

  5. Lisa says:

    You can still buy the Flowbee??? Wow, that sucker has been around for like 20 years.

  6. Dave2 says:

    Danalyn… I still think my Mother’s Day video fake-out was pretty funny. For a meat-eating fake-out it would have to be a steak of some kind, because burgers and hot dogs look exactly the same when made from tofu… I don’t know how I could fake a bloody steak though.

    Sizzle… Pudding is always yummy. I (heart) my Snack-Pack!

    Awytch… Smiley’s Barber Shop?!? I never even heard of that… thanks for the tip! Somebody recommended “Merle’s Barber Shop” on 5th and Western, which I have never heard of either. Cashmere has a barber shop too, so maybe that’ll be an option as well. And then there’s Flowbee!! 😀

    Rob… Isn’t winter almost over for you?? Of course… your Aussie dollars are worth like 50 US dollars each, so if you send me $2 I can get you a very nice electric blanket here. The only problem is the shipping, which will probably cost you an additional $3 AUS!

    Lisa… Sure! Flowbee still looks awesome too! I remember the commercials, which were pretty funny. The fact that the product is still around after all these years tells me it must actually work!

  7. Sue says:

    I hate MasterCuts. Not just for the same reason, but that no matter what I say to the woman cutting my hair (because there’s never a man) she does what she wants to with my hair and I always hate it.

  8. Dave2 says:

    Hmmm… I got a pretty darn good cut, actually. She did a nice job of blending the clipper-cut sides into the top, which not everybody does well. Maybe I got lucky?

  9. Avitable says:

    I can’t help but feel like that penultimate paragraph was pointed directly at me . . . Wanna buy a raffle ticket?

  10. Mike says:

    “Maybe I got lucky?”

    Getting lucky at MasterCuts. Now THAT’s a blog entry. 😉

  11. ajooja says:

    I wacked my hair off with the beard trimmer side of my electric razor when I was about 20. I mangled it pretty bad. My father-in-law still brings that up once in a while. (He shuts up when I tell him I’m going to start talking about all of his illegitimate children.)

    Count me in for a raffle ticket!

  12. SJs says:

    Hey, Bret and I got haircuts yesterday, too. At Perfect Cut. His looks great. Mine looks … shorter.

  13. Amanda says:

    I’ve never had any trouble at Master Cuts, they’re usually pretty good.

    Also, they’ll wax your eyebrows for cheap, too. Just so you know.

  14. Michelle says:

    So do they know what your allergic to yet? I know you thought maybe peanuts….. is that confirmed? At least you still have your pudding snacks.

  15. Hilly says:

    I was reading your entry, smiling about your reunion with pudding, giggling about the old lady and the flowbee and then…

    …the smirk.

    I loved your last paragraph.

  16. Dave2 says:

    Avitable… Why? Are you selling raffle tickets for something?

    Mike… Well, it certainly would have made for a more interesting entry than what you got!

    Ajooja… I have a proper set of hair clippers just in case I get a bee sting allergic reaction on my head and have to shave it… only happened once so far, knock on wood…

    SJ… I wonder where Perfect Cuts fits in the hierarchy between Master Cuts and Super Cuts?

    Amanda… Er… thanks? I’ll keep that in mind for next time, just in case I want to go eyebrow-less for a while. 🙂

    Michelle… Not peanuts. I eat peanuts and peanut butter all the time with no problems. They still think it’s food dyes. 🙁

    Hilly… Comments are even more awesome than blogging!

  17. I’m in on the raffle thing just to see you on video cutting your own hair with blades attached to a vacuum cleaner.

  18. Dave2 says:

    I know, right? What could possibly go wrong?

  19. Or you could do what my boys did when they decided they didn’t want to sit through haircuts. They just grew their hair long and I trim it when it gets unruly. You would look cute with long hair, don’t you think?

    My little guy would live on chocolate pudding if I would let him. Hooray for being able to eat it again!

  20. claire says:

    She didn’t let you sign a list or something so you could wander around? The tattoo guy who cuts my hair is good like that. Course if it’s real busy, I’m likely to skip it for another day…

    Your haircut looks nice, and congrats on the pudding!

  21. ChillyWilly says:

    Pudding… I have both the chocolate and the tapioca in stock at home at all times. It’s the 30 second late night snack that I can eat and go to sleep (if my tummy grumbles at night).

    In fact, after having to go into work at 1am this morning, I came home, ate a pudding and went to bed.

  22. I would so give a buck to see you cut your hair with a Flowbee.

    Where’s that danged button…

  23. kapgar says:

    Will you take requests on the haircut? Can the winning donor request like a mohawk with shave lines in the side?

  24. serap says:

    A dollar is only 50p, so count me in for 2 tickets!

  25. Congrats on the pudding.

    I think the winner of the raffle should be allowed to come over and flowbee your hair for you. 🙂

  26. andi says:

    I thought the flowbee was a joke. Maybe it’s because I’m in Canada but I had never heard of it. The closest thing would be what they showed on Wayne’s World, the Suck-Kut.

  27. I always tell my husband this and I will tell you too. Make an appointment at a respectable salon. They charge much less for a good man haircut and you make an appointment so you go in, get cut, and go.

    I’m not supporting this flowby thing. I think it will eat your head.

  28. awytch says:

    I think I have a flowbee in the closet somewhere, The Bear liked to give haircuts to the cats with it…

    It’s really old though, might need the blades sharpened.

    It’s probably with the automatic cat box, the Chia pet that never grew and my BeDazzaler!

  29. Winter says:

    Sorry about my puddin photos. I’m so glad you got to eat some. If it makes you feel any better that brand I photographed sucked ass. They do tapioca well, but their chocolate is nasty. Gimme a Snackpak any day. Nice haircut. I’ve been going to the local hair academy. Motley got a scene haircut there yesterday.

  30. vulgarwizard says:

    Flowbee Rep: “It sucks . . . as it cuts!”

    Wayne: “It certainly does suck!”

  31. Chrissi says:

    Dave – My dad and Grandpa BOTH used the barber shop in Cashmere. It’s worth trying, dontcha think?

    Which barber shop did you try? The mall one? I’ve been back in Wenatchee for 3 weeks and I see it’s changed some. Who woulda thought!?

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